thread title missing - Printable Version +- 'Souls IPB Archive (November 2007–October 2012) (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb) +-- Forum: Dead IC (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=110) +--- Forum: Dead Topics (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=21) +--- Thread: thread title missing (/showthread.php?tid=4964) |
|||||
- Geneva Stockholm - 02-14-2009 [html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... ump/12.png); background-position: top center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> Private. 500+ She knew it was the afternoon, because although winter was cold enough to creep inside the walls of Haven Mansion, she could feel the warmth of the sun against her back. Light was muted from behind her eyelids as she lingered between dreaming and the dark chasm of true, dreamless sleep. And, feeling a familiar warmth wrapped around her back, she struggled to stay in that place in her mind with soft edges, muted colors, and vague images. Sighing, she turned toward the source of that warmth, burying her face against a familiar heartbeat. "I dreamed of you again," she murmured. "You're dreaming of me now." His voice was so clear in her mind. She could feel the rumble of it in his chest, the warmth of his breath against her shoulder as he reached to run his fingers through her hair and down her back. She screwed her eyes shut tightly to keep light from invading the insides of her eyelids. If this was indeed a dream, she didn’t want it to end. Not yet. She felt his hand come to rest on her cheek. She leaned in to that touch, curling her own fingers into his ribs, bringing her arms around him to hold the small of his back. ”Open your eyes,” he prompted. She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. ”Geneva, I want you to look at me. Is that so much to ask?” His voice was gentle, teasing, coaxing. Geneva shook her head and pressed her face against his body. ”I promise you I haven’t gotten too terribly ugly,” he teased, running his fingers along the side of her face. ”I don’t want to open my eyes,” she mumbled against his neck, digging her fingers desperately, almost roughly into his back to make sure he stayed solid with her. ”Why not?” he prompted. ”I want you to stay,” she whispered, pulling him against her, almost to the point of pain. He reached behind his back and caught one of her hands in his own, moving his fingers to circle her small wrist. He pulled her hand to his mouth and laid a gentle kiss on her palm. ”I promise to stay a little while.” She moved slowly, turning her face out of the space between his neck and his shoulder. She turned her face until she could feel his breath on her face and blinked open her eyes. It took a moment, and she blinked once more to bring his face into focus. The sight of him floored her. She could see his face clearly in her memories, and her thoughts lingered on him everyday. Still, it was stunning to see him in front of her eyes instead of behind them. Even prone, she could make out the proud arch of his neck, the quiet intelligence in his yellow eyes. The smile on his face would have brought her to her knees if she had been standing. ”Jordan.” He smiled and nodded, curling his hand behind her neck to better look into her face. ”I promised I’d never leave you." She stared at him, dry-eyed. She felt tears pricking the backs of her eyes, but fought them off. She didn't want anything to cloud her vision at this moment, refusing to blink as air stung her eyes. He just smiled, giving her neck a small squeeze. There weren't any words. But she didn't need them. Geneva's face was expressive. She wore every emotion in plain sight. But she had never been able to hide anything from him anyway. He knew her inside and out. "Gennie, I need you--" he said. "Jordan, I need you too. I--I don't know. Some days are so hard to take." "I know," he said, passing his fingers down her back. "Geneva, I need you to--" But then the light burst from behind him, swallowing him whole. She felt it burn her eyes, and reached blindly for him as she felt him disappear. "No, no!" she called out, struggling to move against the gravity of the dream. Lime green eyes flew open to survey the dim gloom of the muted winter light coming in from under the curtains. She swung her legs out, sitting up from where she had fallen asleep on the sofa. The book she had been reading had fallen to the floor. She clenched her hands together, resting her head on her fists. "Anything," she whispered. "I'll give you anything." Please come back. - Anu - 02-14-2009 [html] oh is this for me?? & happy valentines day!
- Geneva Stockholm - 02-18-2009 [html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... ump/12.png); background-position: top center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> I ♥ Alli. 500+ There had been a commotion a few rooms away, but Geneva hadn't noticed at all. Instead, she was trapped within the depths of her mind. Memories tangled, twisting together until they blurred into one image. She had her fists pressed tightly against her eyelids, and the vision swimming there was one of Jordan's face. His yellow eyes were bright and flat like coins as his white teeth flashed against the darkness of his coat. I need you to... The words formed on his lips but never reached her ears. And she never would know what he had said. She would never know what he needed. She felt as though she had failed him all over again. It seemed that in life and in death, she was always just shy of giving him what he needed. She trembled at the precipice, her ears unconsciously quivering as if to capture that last word that would never come from his non-existent mouth. If Jordan had asked for the moon, she would have found a way to claw it out of the sky. She wanted to know that he was happy, and that the last real moments they had shared on earth wouldn't be their last. She recalled the last time she had seen him, his hands wasted and fragile, his face withered, and his eyes over-bright. She had clutched his hands in her own, feeling as though the bones beneath his skin would crumble to dust if she held on too tightly. And he had muttered those same words in a rasping voice as his lungs rattled in the gasp before death. "I need you to..." Not knowing what he needed drove her to a dark place. She would have given him anything at that moment. She would have given her own life, her breath, every ounce of her being to carry out whatever he needed or wanted. And although the months had passed, and she had begun to heal, there was no peace for her with the mystery hovering overhead like dark clouds. She felt a hand curl around her wrist. With a desperate strength, she rotated her wrist and clamped her own hand over the other's wrist. She held on with a quiet desperation, her fingers curling in against the flesh to hold that creature to her. It felt warm, solid in her hand. Stricken lime green eyes rose to meet orbs of blue as she realized that the wrist beneath her fingers had a pulse, a life beat signaling the blood coursing through her veins. She felt her heartbeat rising in her head to answer that call. She realized that Anu was there, an anchor amidst the wash of sorrow. She realized that Anu was covered in blood and water, but she didn't care. She lurched forward, wrapping her arms around Anu's middle and burying her face in the crook between her neck and shoulder. And she felt her heartbeat where she held her. "I need you..." the strains of his last belabored breath still whispered through her mind. But this time, he continued, a wheezing, desperate whisper filled with such love she felt her heart would break. "...to live." "I will," she gasped, whispering through her tears. "I will. I promise." She clung to her friend, spilling her tears against her shoulder. - Anu - 02-18-2009 [html] this is a jumbled mess....
- Geneva Stockholm - 02-22-2009 [html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... ump/12.png); background-position: top center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> 500+ "I'm a mess, I guess. It's what I've asked for. It's what I've needed. Well, you know me better than that. Or at least you did, then something happened. Once again, something's happened. The confidence you held in us, the rope we almost hung ourselves with. At times I wonder if we ever took the steps to break right through it. I know that there were better days, but to see the light and to feel the rays. Life was always back and forth, and we were idling or making useless progress." ♥ Geneva leaned into Anu, the desperation in her hands melting away as she cried herself out against her shoulder. The beating of her heart beneath her warm skin brought Geneva back around. She swallowed once, hard, and felt the salt of her tears fresh on her tongue. Her vision was still blurred and her breathing was muffled. She broke away from her friend slowly, her arms coming free and she passed one over her eyes to scrub the tears away. Her eyes were still slick, gleaming as she blinked. She paused to run her fingers around her cheeks, finding her face damp. She knew without looking that her nose was wet and had begun to run too. She looked away, embarrassed, and stood up suddenly. Avoiding looking at Anu directly, she crept from the room in long strides, making her way to the hallway. An old-fashioned, heavily gilded mirror hung on the wall. She stumbled over to it, peering at herself in the old, silvered glass. With time, the mirror had warped so slightly, and things reflected in its surface were slightly slanted. She peered into her reflection. Lime green eyes wet with tears looked back, her light gray fur slightly discolored from the tracks of her tears. The look on her face was so lost. She felt disgust curling in her stomach, a dark, black bubble rising to her throat. She passed her forearm over her eyes and nose, jerking it away to stare into the warped glass again. A wolfess with a hard expression looked back at her, lime green eyes flat, and hard. She didn't recognize the expression on her face. Though she hadn't seen her reflections many times, or ever pondered it before, the muscles in her face that arranged that expression felt underused. She turned on her heel, feeling slightly lighted yet dizzy at the same time. She was tired, so tired of feeling lost. She was tired of standing at a constant crossroads. For months, she had been standing at one with Jordan. But Jordan was dead and gone, cold in his grave no matter how solid and real his phantasm felt to her. Geneva still loved him with every fiber of her being, but it was time to lay him to rest. She walked into the living room, not stopping until she stood opposite where Anu was seated. She looked calmer than she felt. She regarded the blue-eyed wolfess coolly, tracing her eyes over her form. She was wet, she realized, covered in what looked like water and blood. Geneva wondered what she must have been doing before she had run in to find her. She didn't realize she had been screaming before. She felt resolve fall over her like a curtain, although she felt her heart was breaking. Because as much as she wanted to let all the things between them be, flourish and thrive with each tiny glimpse of light they could allow, she couldn't. Because she was standing at a crossroads with Anu too. Live. He wanted her to live. And she realized that she wanted to too, so desperately that she hadn't realized it before. "Anu." When she said her name, the expression on her face softened. She swallowed once, then continued, the words coming in a rush before she could lose her courage. "You know I love you. And I do - but the intensity of it...to have you so close..." She shook her head, trying to find the words. "You're a mother and a mate. I'm a widow." She looked into Anu's face, her eyes filled with equal parts resolution and pain. "...this is more than I can bear. I'm not certain I should feel this way now - I feel as though...Jordan, as if...as if I hadn't even let him even grow cold in his grave when I met you." Geneva knew what she wanted, and knew that it was sacrilege to even think of it. Still, as she listened to the thunder of her own heartbeat in her chest, as she felt the hope dying there, she wanted to live. She wanted to live her life completely, to step out of the shadows. And although Anu was one ray of sunshine to hold in her hand, she would never ask her to make that choice. "I need time," she whispered. - Anu - 02-22-2009 [html]
- Geneva Stockholm - 02-22-2009 [html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... ump/12.png); background-position: top center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> 500+ Geneva stood in silence, her hands balled into fists by her sides. It took every ounce of her control not to take all those words back. It was funny how the words that held the most truth stung the most leaving her mouth. She ground her back teeth together to keep from opening her mouth to take them all back. She kept her knees locked to keep herself from falling to the floor to ask forgiveness. Her body was composed of hard, harsh lines, vertical and unyielding as the truth in her words. She stood upright as those words, feeling far more fragile than she let on. She noticed how Anu held a fist to her heart, clenched as though to keep pieces of it from pouring out. She looked on, her eyes hard and her tongue locked down inside her mouth to keep from betraying her wavering resolve. Standing still, her heart so incredibly and absurdly calm, pounding out a harsh rhythm one fierce beat at a time, Geneva didn't know how she kept herself from flying apart. The image of Anu's clenched fist would stay with her, would follow her into dreams. She imagined that she had wounded the blue-eyed woman, and bit the insides of her mouth to keep herself from asking if she had. But she couldn't take her eyes away. She had brought this on, maybe they both had. She felt like a comet hurtling toward a black hole. She couldn't fight the gravity. Neither of them could. Anu's words brought her up short, left her gasping for breath. She moved then, one tentative, hurried, unthought-out step toward the woman. She didn't know what she was doing, what she wanted to do at that moment. Equal parts of her wanted to reach out and hold her hand as well as grasp her shoulders and shake her hard. The words she had spoken came like a jolt of electricity coursing through her veins, a sting and stimulus. And looking into those blue eyes, she saw a reflection of the world backward, where things were skewed and shuffled and wrong. In a world of warped reflections, on the other side of the mirror, was where they could be together, perfectly in synch. But here, it would be wrong. "You don't mean that." She couldn't do it. And it took every ounce of her being to convince herself of that. The line in the sand had been erased, and she knew which one of them would cross it first. She stalked toward Anu and reached to touch her face. Fingers curled around the fey's face, shaping her cheek. Looking into the ocean-blue eyes, Geneva knew she would only have one chance to make this work. Suddenly, the gentle pressure of her fingers changed. She twisted her wrist, cupping Anu's chin and jerking her head forward so that they were face-to-face. She looked straight into her eyes, their vision in complete alignment. Her green eyes were cold as she bared her teeth. "Stay away," she snarled, the sound fierce, low, threatening. She dropped her hand from Anu's face, fingers clenching into fists as her shoulders hunched in. "Stay the hell away." - Anu - 02-22-2009 [html]
- Geneva Stockholm - 02-22-2009 [html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... ump/12.png); background-position: top center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> The world was spinning, and Geneva felt as though her head was spinning with it. Everything came too fast, a blur of color, a splash of emotion. The harsh red of pain as it jolted through her head like jagged lightning. A slash of gray as she peered the clouds through the window. The stricken blue of Anu's eyes that struck her with more force than a mac truck. It was all too much for her to focus on at once. She didn't say anything to refute Anu's words. She knew that she had never lied. And Geneva had never lied to Anu. She could never dream of lying to her. When she had professed her love, she had meant it more ardently than any other words she had uttered ever before. She bit her tongue to keep from calling out her name, to keep from letting her feelings take her over. Her voice was still ragged as her lips slipped back down to cover her teeth. She spoke, and the snarl was absent from her voice. But her voice was heavy, raw as though she had screamed for days. "You have everything," she said. "You have a mate, you have children." You have me and you always will. She looked at her, moving past her to reach the door first. She had lost all those things - Jordan and her own children. She knew the pain of that loss, and she would not let Anu know the bitter taste. Nor would she be party to that lost. She would keep that pain from Anu, even if it doubled her own loss. "I--Anu," she started, the vulnerability evident in her voice. "You don't need to stay away..." She slipped the satchel over her shoulder, and looked for a long moment. "I'm leaving." And she slipped out of Haven Mansion, intent on the borders. - Anu - 02-22-2009 [html] There is nothing else that you can do
|