there's a hole in your soul, like an animal - Printable Version +- 'Souls IPB Archive (November 2007–October 2012) (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb) +-- Forum: Dead IC (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=110) +--- Forum: Dead Topics (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=21) +--- Thread: there's a hole in your soul, like an animal (/showthread.php?tid=7414) |
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- Urma - 08-11-2009 [html]
OOC: ::Word Count:: 500+
After her unexpected meeting with Emwe near Dahlia de Mai, and the delay that had caused, she was finally nearing Inferni territory. She tried to keep her pace steady and brace herself for anything unexpected, but she found it almost impossible to concentrate on everything that surrounded her. She felt weary in the vicinity of this particular pack, and she knew it was a feeling she had never before had when approaching another pack. Urma tried hard to push the image of Pilot treading on this same path, maybe, a long time ago, to a fate he had no idea he was about to encounter. She hoped her own journey here wouldn't have a similar outcome, even if she was probably inviting danger by coming here looking for a dangerous Inferni member. She couldn't help wondering how it must have been to Pilot, if it had been unexpected, if he had even seen Hybrid coming. Somehow, that knowledge would give her the strength she needed in the face of the unknown.
Her sense of unease was heightened by every sound that came from the surrounding lands, and she sensed that she was close to the borders. Her heart pound hard against her chest, constricting her throat and making her almost gasp for her breath. She realised she needed to calm down in order to handle the situation. It was clear she couldn't just march up to the first stranger she set eyes on, and simply declare that she was looking for Hybrid. He seemed to be dangerous enough uncalled for, and she knew she shouldn't anger any of the Inferni members, unless she was here for a death sentence. If she had never considered Inferni a violent pack before, after the incident with Pilot and Hybrid, her view of the mixed wolves and coyotes had altered drastically. Her hopes were in finding a more sensible member, willing to, in the worst possible scenario, simply chase her off. To her mind, anyone here who knew Hybrid would clearly see that she was no threat to him, and would probably volunteer some harmless information about him without giving her another thought. But maybe that was too much dreaming, and in a place like this, Urma knew she couldn't be safe unless her feet were firmly on the ground. She stopped as soon as unfamiliar scents reached her nostrils, and reclined to her haunches wearily, not knowing if a howl would be the best way to approach her unexpected visit. She scanned the sky, hoping darkness wouldn't creep on her while here. It was the last place she wished to be in, alone, at night. She squirmed a bit in her spot, her heart threatening to break her ribcage, cursing under her breath her lack of composure. She scanned her surroundings carefully, and took another few steps until the scent of the pack filled her lungs entirely. She hoped that someone would pick hers, and that that someone wouldn't be the worst of the lot. [/html] - Gabriel de le Poer - 08-11-2009 [html]
- Urma - 08-11-2009 [html]
OOC: ::Word Count:: 300+
Urma's ears pricked as the scent of a male reached her nose, and she realized that company was on its way. She scanned the surrounding area and spotted a black and brown-pelted wolf making his way towards her. His bright gaze kept her rooted to the spot, and she could almost feel the sense of confidence emanating from him. For a moment she felt sure she was looking at the leader of the pack, and that thought almost made her weak in the knees. She had no idea now whether she wanted to meet this wolf or not, but she knew that she hadn't come all this way to turn around and run. And if her presence had sparked his curiosity enough, his muscular build would probably prove a better match in a running competition. Either way she looked at the matter, there was nothing else she could do but face the wolf. She chanted in her head that this was for Pilot, although what her desperate and irrational act was meant to prove, she wasn't sure herself anymore.
As the wolf asked her what was wrong, his gaze never wavering, she thought about the reckless decision she had made not to inform Savina of what she was about to undertake. It hadn't been a long time since she had come back to Crimson Dreams, and she hadn't exactly stayed put since then, so her muscles still ached after long journeys like the one coming here had been. The cuts and scratches were still on her paws, and she hoped they wouldn't stand as testimony to her vulnerability. She honestly meant no harm, though at times, staring into that alert gaze made her think it wouldn't matter either way. Finally, she managed to gather herself enough to say, on a confident, unwavering tone, "I'm looking for someone. A member of this pack. One Hybrid." She could sense her composure diminishing in front of the wolf, and she fell back on the comforting silence, before realizing that the quiet didn't calm her down in any way. She could see how her act would seem foolish to the wolf, if he knew Hybrid well enough. She found it hard not to crumble before his piercing gaze, knowing her amber one could never match it. [/html] - Gabriel de le Poer - 08-11-2009 [html]
- Urma - 08-11-2009 [html]
OOC: ::Word Count:: 300+
The tone he carried eased her discomfort slightly, and she relaxed a bit, willing to offer the wolf a chance at rehabilitating the reputation Inferni had come to associate itself with. She felt at least better that she hadn't been made fun of, to want to talk to Hybrid. That would have surely put her off. His question, however, confused even her. Indeed, what did she want from Hybrid? An apology? Redemption? Her frail frame surely stood no chance in the face of a possible revenge. And what good would that do? The pain and suffering he had brought onto Pilot would never be undone. Maybe what she wanted was idealistic and destined to meet an abrupt end. However, if indeed she was standing face to face with the Inferni leader, she was decided to tell him what went on in his pack, hoping he at least would find it unacceptable.
"It's about an incident that happened a while back. A male was taken hostage by him. From what I heard, he was kept in Inferni for about a month. This...Hybrid. He's done a lot of damage. I... need to know why anyone would do that." She didn't want to give lots of details away, in case the wolf she was confronting now wasn't going to take her side as readily as she believed he would. This wasn't a place in which she could take her chances with her readiness to believe whatever was offered to her and passed her judgement. Then again, maybe Hybrid wasn't the kind you could act as a moral compass with. Surely, if he had been, the things he had been capable of doing, the pain he had inflicted senselessly would have been out of the question. "I need a reason," she found herself unexpectedly saying out loud. Would this wolf be able to offer her one? [/html] - Gabriel de le Poer - 08-12-2009 [html]
- Urma - 08-12-2009 [html]
OOC: ::Word Count:: 300+
Urma listened to Gabriel carefully, almost dreading his words. She didn't know how she should feel about the fact that he had known. Why hadn't he stopped it? His last words cut through her heart like a knife. It went against everything she knew about the situation, everything she had been able to gather from Savina's painful words. Pilot would never willingly walk towards harm. How could the things Hybrid did to him have been the white male's wish? The earth seemed to be running from beneath her, and she tried to hold on tight to all the certainties she had. This wolf whom Gabriel tried to paint the picture of... it was not her Pilot. This thought alone was enough to deepen the growing chasm she felt between her and her loved one.
"But... when he came back... he was changed. He didn't want what happened to him. Couldn't you have helped him? Why allow Hybrid to keep him here? Couldn't you see that he was hurt?" She realised her quavering voice had rised a notch, and immediately her ears pressed themselves to her head. She didn't want to anger the wolf. So far, he seemed the closest she could get to the truth without staring Hybrid himself in the face. Her tone had sounded desperate, even to her, and she hoped that whatever was moral in this wolf would see that it was just a reaction to the news she was hearing. It seemed incredulous to picture Pilot that way. The wolf who always wanted to help, who had always been there for her, he couldn't have welcomed all this pain. Surely, if offered a possibility of escape, he would have taken it. Her tone more subdued, she asked, "Were you able to talk to him? What did he tell you? Please..." her voice was pleading from the innermost reaches of her heart. "What could Hybrid have done to him to change him, to make you say that he wasn't held hostage?" She hoped she could appeal to a side of him that felt pain, that knew it and respected it. She knew nothing about the wolf in front of her, but all the truth she had so fervently sought to discover lay within him. [/html] - Gabriel de le Poer - 08-12-2009 [html]
- Urma - 08-12-2009 [html]
OOC: ::Word Count:: 300+
Urma took in every word like it was the last thing she'd ever hear. And the moment it hit her, she felt her knees weaken, her strength failing her. It couldn't be true. She tried convincing herself it might as well not be true, seeing as there was no reason for this wolf to be a hundred per cent truthful with her. Pilot had told Savina a different story. The words haunted her, chanted themselves over and over again nastily in her head, like a bad spell. He said that Hybrid loved him. Could Pilot have forgotten that she loved him, more than anyone could? She felt a mixture of betrayal and anger and inability to accept what the wolf told her wash over her, and she let out a slow, deep sigh.
She looked around her, the pain overwhelming her. Had he really given them all up? Urma knew that she'd always love Pilot, no matter what this wolf told her. But that didn't mean it wouldn't hurt. It was hard for Urma to even know who was telling the truth. While her heart wanted to believe what she knew from Savina, her mind kept the stranger's words vivid. She knew this was they way things went-- no matter what her convictions were, it was in everyone's nature to be inclined to believe the bad news. Especially if even a shimmer of a doubt or of the unknown shadowed the matter. And there were so many things no one knew, except the people directly involved. Urma looked up to meet the alert gaze of her interlocutor. Her own amber eyes betrayed sadness. "Is there any chance you could convince Hybrid to tell you more? I doubt anyone like me would be able to influence him in the slightest. Please... this means a lot to me. I know it's enough that I came up to you without even knowing who you are, trespassing onto your territory unannounced, claiming to know all these things..." She broke off, realizing how much she depended on the wolf. "I know you owe me nothing. I don't know what I could offer in exchange." She felt exhausted, all of a sudden. Stranded. Even her sweetest memories of Pilot were turning slightly bitter, and that pained her more than she could ever express in words. [/html] - Gabriel de le Poer - 08-13-2009 [html]
- Urma - 08-13-2009 [html]
OOC: ::Word Count:: 500+
His words made a lot of sense, but she almost wanted to ignore them. It didn't matter anymore, what she'd find out, because she had found out enough to make all her efforts seem like a drop of water in the ocean. She didn't want to push it beyond how painful it was already, but she realized that dealing with it all at once had always worked better than trying not to get too hurt once and have it happen repeatedly. Still, these things that she had just heard... they couldn't change her image of Pilot. Somehow, all her feelings, her hopes, her dreams, her longings had encased him in a diamond case that nothing could break, except maybe Pilot himself. But the fact that she felt completely hopeless somewhere where she was at her most vulnerable was worrying in itself, so she struggled to regain a semblance of her composure.
"I would be grateful if you would be able to tell me, no matter what you found out, if you ever found out anything at all. It doesn't matter if it's what I want. Life's not even nearly all about what we want." She looked at the wolf in front of her, the scars adorning him, giving him an air of victory rather than one of defeat. She'd never once had the posture to walk up to someone and intimidate them by her presence. She knew females who could do that. She thought if that would have helped her in tackling Hybrid. But somehow, it seemed highly unlikely. All she'd ever done was run, whenever things overwhelmed her. Now, she'd already done the running, sooner than the bad news had come. She was left to deal with it, now. Information was always easy to give, but harder to receive. She could barely think about what the wolf before her had told her, without feeling as if she was losing Pilot more and more. "Did anyone else know about it?" It seemed that this story went far. How many people had been directly involved, without telling anyone? "Did you even ask where he came from? If Hybrid hurt him? Didn't you think someone was looking for him? That maybe he... didn't belong here?" Her tone demanded an explanation, but she hoped he'd know that she wasn't ungrateful for the help he had offered. She didn't want to sound intimidating, not that she could ever be that. She knew she was on precarious grounds here, where this wolf's company could mean either her safety or her demise. Suddenly, as she stared onto what she knew were Inferni pack lands, an idea occurred to her. "Would you, by any chance, be able to show me where Hybrid kept him?" If Pilot had told Savina he had been held hostage, she imagined it was somewhere where not everyone would stumble upon him. Unless, more people had been in on the entire act, and no one had thought of doing anything for the white stranger. That thought sent shivers down Urma’s spine. How deep could ignorance go? [/html] - Gabriel de le Poer - 08-13-2009 [html]
- Urma - 08-14-2009 [html]
OOC: ::Word Count:: 500+
Urma felt herself crumble under the wolf's words. She could clearly understand the exasperated note in his voice-- it would make little sense to anyone who didn't know her why her desire for truth, even of a destructive nature, led her to ask the most painful questions. But she had to know. Deep in her heart, it would probably never change her core beliefs about Pilot, would never make her look at him any other way than she already did, would never make her see him under a different light. But the fact that she was being protected from the knowledge everyone seemed to have such free access to angered her. Why should this wolf, a complete stranger to how much Hybrid's actions had affected others, know, but she, one of the most affected, excepting Pilot, didn't know. Why should he have the power to decide how much she should know about her loved one's fate?
She knew she was getting beside herself with anger, that the fact that she had no one to vent all her frustrations on made her think of this stranger as an impediment between herself and the true nature of what had happened. Normally, she would have thanked him, even if to herself, for helping her find out at least this much. But now, all her pent-up rage was resurfacing on her mind, and only the fact that this was not the place, nor the person to be taking it out on stopped her from letting her desperation take the better of her. However, the spark of her initial fire kindled, and she desperately wished that she could find a way to set it aside and think clearly. Her current whereabouts were a constant reminder of how foolish it would be to let her emotions show. She still didn't know anything about the stranger in front of him, could not know if through his words he was protecting her or his pack member. It felt only reasonable that the latter be his only concern, but so far he had done nothing to belittle her on behalf of her self-destructive behaviour. The silence dragged on, until it too, seemed too much to bear. She let out a long, deep sigh, testimony to the battles going on inside her, and the futility she attributed to any attempts at stopping them. Urma knew, deep inside, that something was being held from her, maybe a crucial aspect as to why it had all happened like this. Part of her wanted to believe the wolf, and part of her refused to think of Pilot as anything other than she had known and loved. And still loved. It was maybe this too, that fueled her anger; the thought that no amount of information discrediting Pilot could alter her view of him. She was certain, now, as she looked at the wolf and tried to read his expression, that if there ever was anything else that he was keeping from her, the only person who would safely tell her would be Pilot himself. The finality of this dispirited her. "I don't know what you may think of me, for asking these questions. I don't wish to willingly get hurt. But if the truth, the complete truth, will do that, I am more than ready and willing to know it." It was her final plea. [/html] - Gabriel de le Poer - 08-14-2009 [html]
- Urma - 08-14-2009 [html]
OOC: ::Word Count:: 400+
Nothing could have prepared Urma for what she was about to hear. For a moment, she thought that they had been talking about completely different wolves all along. But it was clear that that was just a fantasy scenario. There was nothing to support such a theory except her disbelief that what she was hearing could possibly be true. Lovers? Urma sat down, almost collapsed on the ground, heavy with the weight of the wolf's words. This was what he didn't want her to know. She wasn't sorry he had told her. This was a crucial bit of information. It was the missing piece of a puzzle she didn't even know what use it was to solve. How could she tell anyone else? How could she tell Savina? She wouldn't keep the journey here a secret from her friend, but this was something no one should know. It was Pilot's story. His secret, and now hers.
Her gaze was lost into space. She didn't want to imagine what the wolf in front of her must have seen, and the mere thought pained her, so she was certain any type of imagery would simply destroy her. What had happened? Her shocked mind refused to believe this was anything Pilot would have done of his own accord. Had he not thought about her? All the while he was here with Hybrid, willingly, from what this male said, everyone who knew him had been worried for him. But his confession to Savina, that he had been kidnapped... it served as proof that he regretted what had happened between himself and Hybrid. Her mind was made up-- she would not tell anyone. Suddenly, the certainty that all of this would weigh on her mind until the day Pilot showed up, if he ever did, frightened her. But she was certain that this was what she had to do. Pilot's face came to mind, his grey eyes, his expression as they had laid together on the grass. Had he had that same expression with Hybrid? Why should she be torturing herself with this? "Thank you. For helping me." Urma was desperate to fill in the silence that allowed her mind space and time to think. "I hope my insistence hasn't bothered you. If it has, my apologies." She could barely understand, herself, how she could control her emotions. She was certain that as soon as she was a safe distance away from the pack, she'd break down. "Just... since it's been rude of me not to ask... Who has been the wolf willing enough to help me? I doubt the time will come, but maybe one day, I could return the service." Making allies amongst foes had not been on her mind at all, but the thought occurred to her as she finished speaking. [/html] - Gabriel de le Poer - 08-15-2009 [html]
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