go ahead and don't believe - Printable Version +- 'Souls IPB Archive (November 2007–October 2012) (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb) +-- Forum: Dead IC (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=110) +--- Forum: Dead Topics (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=21) +--- Thread: go ahead and don't believe (/showthread.php?tid=9652) |
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- Snake - 02-01-2010 [html] Snake had been in a dreary state of semi-consciousness for two days, and he was mid-way through the third. He was not comatose, but he was nowhere near being competent—he seemed to be caught in a milky in-between, a state where he seemed to wake and seemed to pass into a deeper oblivion with the change of the hours. It was for good cause—he very well could have bled out if Daisuke hadn't come to his senses and taken care of him. It actually wasn't a new experience for Snake. This same thing had happened to him the day that he had first shifted to his Optime form, when he and his brother were only a few months old. That was when he had gotten the first scar across his ribs, the one that the longer vertical cut crossed perpendicularly. And the pain certainly wasn't new. He'd had worse, believe it or not. He locked it away with all his other emotions in his own personal Pandora's box, keeping them locked and hidden and far away from any curious passersby. It was a few hours passed noon when his olive eyes flickered open; they had done so several times in his stasis, but this time they remained so. He was unseeing for a moment and then his gaze sharpened, became clear. At first he had no idea where he was. Was he a captive—had he been taken by a Dahlia de Mai wolf? He didn't think they would take prisoners, but perhaps they were getting clever. But no, it wasn't a Dahlian he had been fighting. Slowly the different memories came back, and he remembered with a shock. He knew exactly where he was now; his nose could tell him that. He had fought with Daisuke—mad, as if a man possessed—and he had lost. And apparently his friend had come around and found it in his heart to save his pathetic friend. Pathetic indeed! Snake gave a slight growl, closing his eyes again. He could have beaten Daisuke. He knew it. He was a better fighter, and that was a simple fact. He could see how he could have done it—there had been countless opportunities where his knife could have found its way to either Daisuke's neck or some other major crippling artery. Why hadn't he done it? The answer was too easy—he had felt bad. He felt a sick taste in the back of his mouth. He had unwittingly given some of those feelings at try, and this was how they had repaid him. And look at him now! He was wounded, scarred, perhaps even crippled. Certainly not a ready fighter in the war. It would take weeks to heal sufficiently enough to do anything productive. There was nothing worse to him than a soldier who could not do his duty, his task, his meaning in life. Snake rarely hated—such a fiery emotion was something he abhorred. But right now he hated himself, and that was a hate that was not red-hot. No, it was like an acid, eating him away from the inside out. - Daisuke - 02-01-2010 [html]
- Snake - 02-05-2010 [html] He was awake enough to notice Daisuke's return, and also the vibrant scent of the rabbits that he had brought. He realized how hungry he was, but he couldn't summon the strength to move, to even open his eye. The golden wolf who had only days ago attacked him came over and Snake felt him bury his head in the vicinity of his neck. He flinched—only slightly—as pain lanced from his nerve synapses up to his brain, from the wounds on his shoulder and on his torso. It was nothing special to him, but it still hurt; especially after a few days of lying around doing nothing. He was relieved when the wolf withdrew, murmuring a question after a whine. It took him a few moments to muster the will and strength to do so, but eventually Snake spoke: I'm awake.His voice was low, raspy, dry, like the last leaves of autumn. His olive eyes cracked open, adjusting to vision for a moment or two before focusing blearily on Daisuke. His gaze was impassive—he knew that his friend had saved him, but he also knew that he had done the damage in the first place. He was not angry (for Snake so rarely got angry), but he was upset to a certain extent. In this state, though, there was nothing he could do about that. The scent of food came back to him, though a greater feeling came over him: thirst. Water,he murmured. He hadn't felt this hungry or thirsty since... his journeys before coming to Inferni. And waking up after recovering from the wound that Foxhound had given him. He found he wanted to smoke too, after a few more moments. Water, food, and cigarettes: the basic staples of life for the common soldier. - Daisuke - 02-09-2010 [html]
- Snake - 02-10-2010 [html] The wolf's jovial tone surprised him, even though it probably shouldn't have. The last that Snake had seen, he had been in a violent rage—already he had considered that he was still under that madness, having kidnapped Snake and was now holding him away from Inferni. But it didn't seem that way now. Daisuke must have regained his consciousness, even though he didn't seem to find anything wrong. That small, dark pit of negativity remained in Snake's heart, a mixture of pride and pain and disappointment. It burned in his heart, much like the embers that the wolf tended to. Then he had gone somewhere, gotten something, and brought it to Snake. He was nervous for a moment, until his friend explained that it was just water. Still, should he trust him? This was the same wolf whom had wounded him so grievously—how could he act as if nothing was up? He didn't respond when asked if he needed help getting up. He swallowed the pain, supporting himself with one arm while managing to get into a sitting position. He rested against one of the cavern walls, one hand over the bandages covering his wound while he drank water from one of the bottles with the other. He had never really appreciated water so much, even that last time that he had nearly died in such a similar fashion. It wasn't too long before one of the bottles was empty, and the injured coyote was on the second. The Hydra was completely silent, trying to put things together in his mind. It was not until he had started drinking the second bottle of water that his mind cleared and he realized that Daisuke might not even remember. It was a crazy idea, but he had heard crazier. He barely listened as the wolf prattled on about food and the fire and whatnot. Snake shook his head in a noncommittal fashion; though warmth sounded good, he didn't want to move. He polished off the second bottle, placing it carefully next to the other one. He gently crossed his arms in front of his chest, staring at the floor, and then the fire, and then the rabbits, and then the entrance to the den—he realized then that he was avoiding. He was somewhat chilled and hungry, but that wasn't as important. It could be remedied later. The coyote suddenly fixated his olive gaze on Daisuke's pelagic eyes—the gaze was as cold and flinty as steel. What happened?He asked. Snake knew full well. He just wanted to hear what Daisuke had to say... if he had anything to say at all. - Daisuke - 02-10-2010 [html]
- Snake - 02-11-2010 [html] It was in Snake's state of mental contemplation that Daisuke had moved to gather up his guitar, setting it in his lap and strumming out the chords of the song that he had written for the coyote. It was an interesting juxtaposition, the song that one had created out of affection for one that, only days ago, he had fought. But it seemed that Daisuke did not know of that. He allowed the music to continue for a few moments before fixing his gaze upon the golden wolf. When he looked up to find the coyote's gaze on him, he froze—the music abruptly stopped, replaced by the sounds of the fire. Snake was blithely amused to find that he had such power over the wolf; perhaps a little bit of Foxhound's personality showing up in his twin. It was rather disturbing, listening to what Daisuke thought had happened. Snake suddenly had conflict of conscience—should he tell his friend what really happened, or let him believe what his mind had fabricated for him? At first he really did consider letting it pass, but he realized that it was changes like that in his iron personality that had cost him the fight in the first place. Out of bitterness he resolved to his old resolves, his reliance on the truth steadfast. "Yes, I know what happened," he said slowly, his gaze unblinking and reptilian, slightly hooded by his bandanna. "I was tired and hurting, so I went to sleep early. I forgot to call you. And then suddenly you were on the doorstep to the Landfill. I tried to get you to leave and you attacked me." As he spoke his expression grew more and more dull until it more resembled a mask than a face. "I defended myself, but I did not want to hurt you. Which is why I'm like this." His tone grew somewhat bitter in the last statement, another glimpse of the far more selfish side of Snake. He was angry that he had compromised himself because of his attachments to someone else—it was exactly what he had wanted to avoid. Sure, that might be a little offensive to the person whose friendship was being talked down on, but Snake didn't see that. He was injured, worthless, and full of loathing for himself and others. He had trouble seeing much else at the moment. - Daisuke - 02-11-2010 [html]
- Snake - 02-11-2010 [html] He went back to playing the song between his own question and Snake's reply, though that eventually faded away into a stunned silence when the truth wandered out into the open like some kind of frightening—yet rare—animal. Daisuke's blue eyes rose once more, meeting with the dead-looking gaze of Snake. He seemed to be in disbelief for the moment, almost searching for a reason to laugh it off and think it a joke. But the coyote did not give him any reason to, for he was as serious as the grave. Finally it dawned on the wolf, and he began to stammer out what seemed to be apologies. Snake did not respond, not even nod, not even shake his head, not even shrug. He just sat there, slumped against the wall of the cave, injured and staring. "You did," he said blatantly, perhaps a little too harshly. He couldn't help it—the negativity was boiling now, spilling over from the realm of his personal thoughts and into the open. The wolf tugged on his ears as he usually did when distressed; Snake could easily see where he had torn the wolf's right ear. That was a testament to that what he said was the truth, as well as his own wound. "You can check one of your blades; the clasp is cut on one, right? I did that, right before you caught me with the other one." He winced slightly, remembering the flash of the steel in the moonlight and the fiery pain. He was used to pain, but that memory was far more vibrant than the dull memories of old. He had grown soft was the obvious answer of that change. Much like the quickly-shifting phases of grief, Daisuke jumped from disbelief and denial to apologizing. Snake yet again did not reply—he did not know what to say. It's okay? It was not okay. He looked away, feeling distinctly awkward by the tears of emotion that he began to see welling up in the corners of the wolf's eyes. Snake could not look at anyone if they were crying. He stared at an opposite wall, very silent for a long time. During this time his stony composure broke down somewhat, wearing away as if by erosion. When he spoke again, it was a sad countenance, almost childlike. "I don't know what to do now," was all he could say. He felt much like a kid who had practiced so hard for so long to play in some kind of sports game, and he had been benched for the duration. He felt like a failure, and he felt like it wasn't fair. In the tumultuous personality switches that Snake harbored, now he seemed to have reverted back a few months. Sorrow was a new thing, and it was an aching thing, like an old bruise. He had trained for these kinds of things all of his life, and this loss was hurting him more than a physical level. Call him a sore loser or simply unrealistic (as certainly no one would win everything), but he had never really experienced it before. It was frightening, like when the floor underneath your feet suddenly gave way. - Daisuke - 02-11-2010 [html]
- Snake - 02-16-2010 [html] The coyote would have shrugged, but that was a little too painful to do without better cause. He gave a quiet and noncommittal grunt, his eyes boring a hole in the wall. He noticed that Daisuke put away his guitar, sitting and curling up somewhere else in the den and keeping silent. Snake wasn't really a sympathetic type, especially when he was hurting. He had trouble caring. The big picture was a little too glaring for him to try to ignore—he would have to go back to Inferni and focus on nothing but healing so he would be ready for whatever was coming in this war. Fighting as he was now would be nothing short of delivering his head to the Dahlians on a silver platter. And Snake did not intend on going down that easy. Movement. He glanced towards the wolf; he had stood up and picked something up, now approaching Snake. He dropped the object right in his lap—the reflection of the fire on the steel told him what it was. A grim look appeared on the coyote's angular face, and he looked up to his blue-eyed friend as he started speaking. The Hydra did not need to even think; he picked up the blade and handed it back to Daisuke. He shook his head, causing the claw-wounds on his left shoulder to twinge painfully. "What good would that do?" he said pragmatically. "I wouldn't feel any better, and neither would you." Well, he assumed so—unless the golden wolf was a masochist and just didn't tell him. He paused before adding, "To wound someone is something that is done only in defense." One of his few views that diverged from Patriot's. His father-figure had thought violence was the instrument to get what he wanted. Snake thought that to trespass on the sanctity of one's health was done only in defense. If it was for any other reason, you were unstable, and that was weakness. As he had always known, he was not a weapon of attrition. He would fight and kill whatever fighter threatened him or his home or any innocent, but he would not harm any civilians—anyone who could not defend themselves, even if they did deserve it. And he certainly would not lift a hand to someone willing. To volunteer oneself for harm... That was a very alien concept for Snake. He made a direct link to one's health to their survivability. It was virtually like saying your life wasn't worth anything to him. - Daisuke - 02-24-2010 [html]
- Snake - 03-12-2010 [html] He could hear the gears in his head grind together as the golden wolf placed the steel of the blade in his hand once more. He listened to the wolf's backwards pleas, but he was resolute. If Daisuke wanted some kind of twisted retribution for his own wrongdoing, he would have to do it himself. Snake had bound himself long ago with his own personal philosophies on peace and war—but the true reason for his steadfastness was that what his friend was suggesting would make him feel like... Foxhound. Patriot had commanded him to strike out at Snake, and he would bare the scar of that encounter for the rest of his life. No, he would not make Daisuke carry something similar to that, even if he begged him. Snake would never understand any type of sadism, or masochism. They both enjoyed joy, something that Snake was curiously devoid of. Someone who gleaned pleasure from either inflicting or incurring harm was alien to him, so he could not sympathize. Words would not convince him, he knew it. He had already braced himself, ready for something that Snake would sooner die than do. He would never cross his own steel convictions—the second he did he would be no better than his brother. Without saying anything, he used the blade that Daisuke had handed him to get himself to his feet. It was an extraordinarily painful action—he could feel it lancing across his chest, a spiderweb of pained nerves. He blocked it, separating it from his conscious and locking it away like he had learned to do so long ago. He could feel his head swim before things grew a little more clearer. He dropped the blade then, trying to navigate to the exit of the den. He needed to get back to Inferni—it was his duty as a Hydra. And if there was one thing that was characteristic of Snake, it was that, when he got a mission, he focused on that and nothing else. By the time that he had made his painstaking way to the exit of Daisuke's cavern den, he hardly remembered the golden wolf was there at all. - Daisuke - 03-16-2010 [html]
OOC: blah blah, sorry for the wait and whatnot.
It took a moment and I could not be found?
All that Daisuke could see were those eyes of his. Those olive eyes that were denying Daisuke's plea for punishment. Punishment was something that Daisuke would crave. He barely got it, and if he was let allowed to go on without punishment, then he would just find ways to get himself into trouble and get punished that way. The things he didn't get punished for before he had gotten into the bigger trouble, he would just think of it as "the reason I am getting beaten this hard is because I did that a long time ago and got away with it". Daisuke would rather Snake punish him now so he wouldn't have to seek someone else to do it for him. Either that, or do it himself, in which would be disastrous either way. Daisuke watched the male as he used the blade to get up. He continued to watch as the male had limped his sorry ass over to the den entrance. Daisuke was sure that the male would collapse before he made it to Inferni. Daisuke's den was close to the border, but still out of the way of the battles. His den wouldn't be involved in any raids, for it was to the southwest of Inferni borders and west from Dahlia borders. Daisuke had made sure to stay close to some sort of body of water so that he would not have to go on Dahlia borders to get to some water. It wasn't like he didn't do so anyways. That's a story for later though. The story of how he had gotten his hair all kinds of different colors.
The male had sighed lightly as his friend had tried to leave him. The golden brute's shackles rose slightly. He didn't want to be ignored like this. The blade dropped back to the ground. Daisuke got up and rushed to cut Snake off before he had made it out of the den. He picked up the blade on the way to the male and he had put the tip of the blade to his own flesh. He took Snake's hand and put it on the blade, and he had put a forceful pressure on his own and Snake's hand to drive the blade into his own skin. Daisuke's eyes narrowed as he looked down at the blade that was driving through his flesh now. A shiver went down his spine as he dragged the blade down through the slash that Halo had punished him with. It would now make an X on his chest. He had dragged it a good five inches or so. He had pulled it away and threw it on the floor. The crimson liquid had started to pour down his chest. Daisuke smiled lightly as he had watched it go down his chest and to slowly down. He took a deep breath that had caused it to sting. There. Now it's even. the male had spoken to the other. Daisuke let go of the male's hand and then looked back up to the male's eyes. Later on, Daisuke would not be able to look the male in the eyes, so this was perhaps the moment where Daisuke would take in the sight of the male's beautiful eyes. The ones that he wanted, he craved to be on him at all times. It was hard to say why he liked the other's eyes so much, especially when they were always so cold, emotionless. Just like how he craved the punishment, he craved his friends' full attention. Daisuke had looked at the other male. You won't make it by yourself. I'll help. he spoke as he had pulled himself close to the male, and attempted to drape the other male's arm around his shoulders so he could help Snake walk back home to Inferni.
The Name's Daisuke Ghanjai/Urahazu. You are? Only a genius works in coexistence with their mind and now I dance away, singing a tune that only I can hear.
It took a moment the moment it could not be found?! [/html] - Snake - 04-01-2010 [html] It wasn't at all that Snake did not believe in punishment; he simply could not punish something that he didn't think was Daisuke's direct fault. If he truly didn't remember and hadn't been in his right mind, he wouldn't raise a hand against it. He certainly wouldn't want anyone to do so to him. The wolf might disagree, but he could not force Snake to do anything. The coyote was a man with a code, and he stuck to it. The sandy-furred coyote had nearly made his way to the yawning entrance to the den when Daisuke caught up with him. Before his sluggish brain even realized what was going on, the wolf had pressed his hand to the blade once more and "helped" him in the wounding. Snake immediately snapped to, trying to withdraw his hand and snarling violently. He was usually so calm, so composed, and so nonreactive. His reaction shocked and maybe even frightened him, though he found it was justifiable. When the blade, slick with blood, dropped to the floor and the air was thick with its metallic scent, Snake looked to his friend with a very distant disgust. Those that inflicted harm upon themselves… in Snake's mind, they were equal with those that maimed family. Once it had been said that one's body was a temple. Snake believed something a little different -- his body was a weapon, and it needed to be kept in good condition for that meant he would survive longest. Even… He could hear Patriot's voice in his head again: "Life isn't meant to be fair." The coyote knew it: there was nothing fair about such a world. He did not speak, his voice stolen by his snarl. His face was set once more, a void. He did not fight back when Daisuke lifted his arm over his shoulders, helping him back to the borders. He knew he could not make it on his own, so he would make use of his help. But it was only out of necessity for now. - Daisuke - 04-02-2010 [html]
ooc...
Beg for the rest of my life What would you do? You say you wanted more What are you waiting for? I'm not running from you
The jerking of the boy made things harder on Daisuke, but his hand was firm against his friends' and he clearly wasn't going to let go until he was able to be branded, or 'punished'. Snake did not refuse the help, but he did remain silent. Daisuke walked strong along side the male, holding back a bucket of tears that was threatening to overload. The immense sorrow that was still within his body was insane, and he didn't like it. Daisuke did feel somewhat better knowing that Snake did part-take in what was branded on his chest, even if it was against his will. He helped his friend along, his voice not once speaking out to the other male, in fear that he might say something stupid, or inappropriate for the situation. He felt like he was retarded, an idiot for letting the immense amount of anger rise up and take control, and then have the audacity to go out and think it was a dahlian that he had fought off. He was such an idiot. Such an asshole.
Both audits were back on his head as he walked the male, never once meeting the male's olive colored gaze to guide the male. Daisuke couldn't look at Snake anymore. It would be impossible. it would take him a long time to recover from the brutal truth, and a lifetime of having the two reminders of what he had done. one being the pinned right audit that was bitten into from the side, and now the still bleeding slash across his chest that completes an X. Have you ever been a traitor? the words crossed his mind, it didn't seem to be his own thoughts, but the ones of another. He didn't understand, but he let his mind purge itself into silence. The droning silence that made Daisuke so uncomfortable. He helped his friend home.
Once he had gotten to the male's car den, Daisuke made sure the male was okay before leaving Inferni.
~FIN~
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