This was all so much for the creamy woman to take in. Jade eyes filled with tears, though she refused to let them spill. She would not shed another tear because of their wretched brother. Lolita hugged herself, fighting away the wave of nausea that came. In the moment of seeing Pippa sitting there, the flamboyant woman had pushed away any thoughts of how sick she had been feeling. Deep breathing eased the feeling some, and Lolita pushed away the thought again. She did not know why she was so sick, but it was not important right now. Pippa was there, and she was trying to find a way to make everything work for them. Pippa was willing to. Lolita had to be, too.
She reached out, wrapping her lithe fingers around Pippa's own. "I'm sorry," she whispered. The apology was for nothing and everything; Lolita did not know what she was apologizing for. There was so much that could be said, but none of it seemed fitting for the moment. There was no way that she could simply go back to the way things were before Pello had found them together. So much had changed. Lolita would need time, but she feared that she would lose Pippa if she did not act soon. The fear of her brother was great, but love was greater, was it not?
"We could... still be together here, maybe. I need time. But no one would need to know that we're sisters, we could hide it. I go by Lolita Monroe, and it's okay for girls to be together, here. But... Pippa, I need time," she said quietly. Lolita wanted to say yes and be happy and excited, but this was not something she had expected. "You could stay here, though, with me. I don't even need to call for Conor, I can accept you... If you want to stay with me." She did not know if Pippa would want to stay, now that she knew Lolita was hesitant. It was not that Lolita did not want Pippa, but she needed time to adjust. She hoped her lover understood.
There was something important that her sister needed to know, however. Lolita was afraid to say this, as if she thought it would frighten Pippa away. "The day he found us and Pello attacked me, he... He killed me. I don't understand why my body keeps moving, but I'm dead. But... It's okay, right?" Pippa would accept her still, right?
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