Tal. She’d keep that in mind. She smiled with a little effort and moved her hair back out of her face, tucking it behind the fur along her cheek with her free hand. The other moved slightly to grab Tal’s hand, though she didn’t really pay it any mind. If she had, she’d have let go, not wanting to become dependent or needy again. She listened with tiredly perked ears as he explained how long he’d been there... and then it all went out the other ear when he mentioned the very source of her pain. Her smile faded and she glanced down, finding their hands to be much more interesting than whatever it was he was saying. Blocking out any unwanted thoughts, she vaguely compared their fur color, the difference in size, idle and unimportant things like that. She didn’t notice his habitual action but when he suggested leaving, her eyes finally snapped up to him again.
No... No, please don’t. I could use the company. She offered another sad smile, then turned to look at the ruins of Shawchert’s old home. This... was Shawchert’s house at one point. He’d been working on it all autumn. A snow storm we had brought it down, though. She remembered practically forcing him to move in with her after that, a vague smile gracing her face at the warmer memories that came with it. That smile faded as she recalled some of the more... bitter feelings she had for him at the moment and she scoffed. We’d been courts before he up and left. Her tone became somewhat bitter, though the obvious heartbreak was mixed in there too. It showed even more as she spoke again, that bitter tone fading. ...I don’t understand. I thought we were happy... I thought he... Her throat clenched up again and she glared up at the ruined building, suddenly hating it all over again.
She shook her head after a moment or two of silence, screwing up her maw to show the tips of her teeth in a look of disgust. I should’ve known better. It’s just my luck. I find someone I think I love and something happens to rip it all away from me. She leaned back a bit and her gaze turned to their hands again, though she didn’t let go, feeling the sudden need to rant on. The miscarriage should’ve been the first sign. I should’ve just focused on the pack and my rank after that. I was the fool to think it could’ve ever worked out. The dark voices in her head agreed with this, mocking and taunting her though she paid no real attention to it. Instead, she looked up at Tal and her ears pinned back. Why do I keep letting myself get hurt? Yeah, that voice mocked, as if he has an answer for that. She knew he probably couldn’t tell her anything, being a stranger, but at least she had the chance to get it off her chest.
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