WC:390
Find them again... Was it possible? Could she ever return to the safety and peacefulness that was the Dreamer lands, and simply be a gardener again? Colibri let her gaze drop to her hands, studying the lifetime of callouses and wear. It left her with a sinking feeling, thinking back on her progression of mistakes and misfortunes. Haku had taken her innocence long ago, and then years later stole her tail just to remind her of her powerlessness. Failed at living in a pack, failed at living on her own. She had given up on her dream of creating life, of becoming a mother and bringing new innocence to the world. And she had extinguished lives with her poisons, a mortal sin which would forever haunt her. Every step forward, every season she lived, she grew further and further from the good and pure values that she wanted to believe in. She was such a tarnished, broken soul.
She knew then she could never show her face to the Crimson Dreams pack again -- all they would see was the wretched loner she had become. "...I think it might be too late for me," she swallowed hard, looking back to Alder. It was hard to admit, for even though she had never had much confidence in herself, Colibri had always hoped that she could find salvation through others. She clung to so many others, most of all Anu... hoping somehow their guidance would make her a better person, and that she wasn't rotten to the core. But the truth had come out.
"I might not be the most cheerful company," she added wryly, "But if you'd really be willing to escort me, I wouldn't mind the company. I used to live in the southern packlands." She rubbed her sore wrist, mentally noting to keep an eye out for the poultice herbs she needed. Life had certainly been easier with her own garden. Coli realized that she had once again shown her poor social skills, putting a damper on their conversation with her pessimism. "Um... does the horse have a name?" she asked hesitantly, offering him a faint shadow of a smile. She had not seen a friendly face for far too long, and despite her anxious and paranoid tendencies, wanted to trust this man and wanted him to trust her.
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