Her eyes trailed after the sheep when he ran off after being shooed by Mars, and for a moment she was sad to see him go. The thing was silly and persistent and annoying, just her type. But still, she didn't need any holes in her clothing, so she didn't undermine Mars by calling Axel back. Taking Mars's hand, she walked with him into the house, unclasped her cloak and draped it over a chair, and then sat on the couch. After he returned with the water she took a long drink, her eyes looking at him even though her face was hidden behind the cup. She knew what he was thinking, it was all she could think about too. And finally, thankfully, he just went ahead and said it.
Her eyes confirmed it before she did, as if her plump belly did not. She took the cup away from her mouth and rubbed her lips with the back of her hand, staring into the water for a moment before turning her golden eyes to meet Mars's ice blue, and then she nodded. “Yes, of course I am. And it's damn inconvenient.” Surprisingly enough, her voice didn't come out as meek and unsure as she thought it would. She thought it would be difficult telling him, but now that she was in the moment it felt natural, it felt right. A small smile cracked her muzzle. “It's not like we didn't know what we were doing,” she joked, for they had both known she was more than fertile in that moment when they came together.
“I don't know what to do. I haven't... thought about it much,” now the jest was gone from her voice. “I don't know what kind of life I would give them alone, and I didn't know what you would think either.” She stared into the cup again, one ear turned toward him as he spoke.
“Mars, d'Arte is my pack. They are my people, and they are my children too. They belong as much to d'Arte as they do to me or you.” Even as she said she words she couldn't make herself look him in the eye, she wasn't sure if she believed herself. She knew how fake the words sounded the moment she spoke them. She let a pause of silence stretch out as she thought about it. It felt like treason, thinking this way about her pack. She had lived there for over a year, so much of her life was devoted to d'Arte. Her daughters had been born there and Demetrius's ghost still walked those lands. Skye was her Capitana, and she had a new profession now, she had learned to tend the animals. How could she turn her back on them?
But it wasn't all just roses and sunshine. In fact, not much of it had been, and she knew she has always just been trying to convince herself different. When she thought she was in love with Shawchert she wanted d'Arte to be the place for her because it was what she thought was best for her family, but it wasn't. Even her daughters knew that in some way because they, too, had both left. It was the last place her family wanted to be. So why would it be any different for this one?
She sighed and tried to shake the thought. Anyway, it didn't matter what he said, she was an Artisan, and right now she wasn't really thinking clearly. “What do you want me to do then? Do you plan to take them from me?” She finally looked at Mars again. She didn't really think he would do that, she didn't really think it was what he was considering, but she also didn't think of the alternative.
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