Consideration

[Skoll]

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He looked away as she said her angry words. It wasn't fair to her. He knew that. But he wasn't fighting the male because he wanted to feel strong. He knew he was supremely skilled, he had dedicated hours upon hours, days upon days...all the time he had spent improving himself for this purpose could be congealed into a year or more of solid fight training. It wasn't for his own sake that he accepted this challenge, but for an ideal, an ideal that he had learned to value above others. He had fallen short of the ideal many times, but now he was being called upon to answer it directly, and he couldn't turn his back on that. How could he just do what he wanted? Had he not accepted this power, and the responsibility that came with it? It tore at him that she suffered for this, but what could be done? His responsibilities collided...he had to fight, but he had to be a mate to Asphyxia, and a father to their children. For the first time, he had an obligation which he wanted to meet more than the honor code of the warrior, but it was because he knew he wanted to please and give in to Asphyxia more that he had to deny himself. In this world, there were natural demands on wolf and she-wolf. This call to fatherhood was a natural demand, this call to matehood was a natural demand. He would receive natural benefits for both of these, the beauty of love, the blessing of children... But the power he had imbued himself with, the deadly education he had accepted, the training he had learned to hone his body and his mind into a weapon, that was not a natural benefit. And it did not have natural demands. And so he was stuck, standing here, torn away from his desired position to answer the call of an idea, a call that took precedence over Asphyxia's wishes, and his own. "I love you too," he said, squeezing back in return for her renewed embrace, giving a shuddering sigh. "I don't want to lose you, either. I have to fight. I accepted that responsibility a long time ago. I just have to win, for your sake, and for theirs." ~The lyrics are from the best song ever written.

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