It had only been the slightest laps in loyalty, and still her heart couldn’t withstand the weight of its consequences. It was a sickening feeling, to be alone in her head with all the worries and guilt that had been plaguing her. How she could not just admit her insecurities, share them with the wolfess she loved? It was just one of the many questions that haunted her; it sat right next to why she wasn’t strong enough to forgive herself. Her weakness was only exaggerated and enhanced as she looked away. Still she wasn’t able to look at the grey coated fey in the eye, not when she knew Geneva was thinking what she was. Their thoughts would be synchronized, and Anu couldn't bear to think that her friend felt as horrible as she did.
The pressure she felt against her hands woke her form her state of self-pity; pulling the buck by herself was an impossible task. Her head shot upwards, eyes meeting her friends. The hands against her shoulders were firm, just enough to send her a certain message. She watched, mouth sealed as the words poured from the usually quiet fey. They were so much alike, normally silent and eager to listen. If it had been any other moment, Anu would have teased her for being so long winded. But it was what was necessary, it was what Anu wanted. She needed to hear the words, words that could have been repeated in her mind again and again, but meant nothing. Even if she wished to believe all the things that she had told herself, it became truth the moment they passed Geneva’s lips.
Anu obeyed, staring and unable to look away as the words drew her in. Her honesty would be legendary; the words full of more truth then Anu had felt in a long time. As she spoke Anu felt the sudden need to sit, remove the weight from her legs and regain her balance and with the removal of the paws against her shoulders the need was even greater. Still she stood. Holding her ground as Geneva’s kindness threatened to knock her over. She knew that they were true friends, wanting nothing more then the other’s happiness no matter the sacrifice. It was when one felt pain so did the other. They were the keepers of each others hearts, holding it secure even when they gave it away to another, ready to piece it back together the moment it cracked. She tried to smile, but it felt false. Refusing to mislead her Anu let her feature fall to what ever she truly felt, putting any mask she may have held away.
Silence surrounded them, soaking into her mind and blanketing any thoughts that threatened to stir. It coated to skin, hardening and making her stronger. The dizzy feeling had passed, and she stood without falter. Though she still had nothing to give her, nothing that would amount to what she had just received. When the silence became too much her body became stiff. It was a moment for honesty, I wish I had something, for you. Something more then just telling you how grateful I am. It sounded stupid, but the words were hard to come by.
Taking a few needed breaths Anu tried to continue. I never want to hurt you. Pausing her attempted to explain her feelins once again. I want you to be happy. her voice was laced with a tearful undertone, though her eyes were nothing but dry and hard. It was uncomfortable to be the center attention. What's her own happiness if Geneva couldn’t be happy?
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