05-20-2009, 12:52 AM
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He could see her confusion and fear clear as day in her lavender orbs. He wasn't the brother she had known, not anymore. He had been broken and he hated for her to see him this way. Haven had always wanted to be strong for her. Now he couldn't even be strong for himself. Her saying that he didn't need to be sorry almost made things worse. He did need to be sorry. "It's not okay. I s-shouldn't have done that to you all...I shouldn't have just disappeared..." It was then that a startling revelation hit him. He needed to leave Crimson Dreams. The boy didn't want to, but he had to. He was a mess and he needed to figure things out. He wasn't the boy that they remembered anymore.
Though he didn't say that to her. Not yet. That would come later. His heart was breaking, knowing what he had to do. Staying in his beloved home was no longer an option for him. The Aatte male shook his head, looking away from her. "You don't want to know Mati. I wish I didn't..." Maybe living in ignorance was wrong, but he was happier before he had known. While his mother's no longer being mates had been a rough blow, it had been something he could get over. It was the knowledge of what their sire had done that had made everything come tumbling down about him. "How do I know though? I can make all the good choices in the world, but what if it's in my blood? One if I could just snap one day and hurt someone? I couldn't live with that..." If he had known that his father had been a perfectly normal wolf before he had attacked his mother those fears would have been even further cemented into his mind.
At seeing her own eyes fill with tears he pressed his hands to his face. "Mati...I don't want to live like this!" he said sobbing. "I just wish I knew! I can't risk hurting your or our moms or Brooklyn. I can't!" Yet being separated from them had been suffocating his heart. He was staying away to protect them but it had been hurting himself the whole time. Though he would always put their safety before his own. He couldn't live any other way.
He could see her confusion and fear clear as day in her lavender orbs. He wasn't the brother she had known, not anymore. He had been broken and he hated for her to see him this way. Haven had always wanted to be strong for her. Now he couldn't even be strong for himself. Her saying that he didn't need to be sorry almost made things worse. He did need to be sorry. "It's not okay. I s-shouldn't have done that to you all...I shouldn't have just disappeared..." It was then that a startling revelation hit him. He needed to leave Crimson Dreams. The boy didn't want to, but he had to. He was a mess and he needed to figure things out. He wasn't the boy that they remembered anymore.
Though he didn't say that to her. Not yet. That would come later. His heart was breaking, knowing what he had to do. Staying in his beloved home was no longer an option for him. The Aatte male shook his head, looking away from her. "You don't want to know Mati. I wish I didn't..." Maybe living in ignorance was wrong, but he was happier before he had known. While his mother's no longer being mates had been a rough blow, it had been something he could get over. It was the knowledge of what their sire had done that had made everything come tumbling down about him. "How do I know though? I can make all the good choices in the world, but what if it's in my blood? One if I could just snap one day and hurt someone? I couldn't live with that..." If he had known that his father had been a perfectly normal wolf before he had attacked his mother those fears would have been even further cemented into his mind.
At seeing her own eyes fill with tears he pressed his hands to his face. "Mati...I don't want to live like this!" he said sobbing. "I just wish I knew! I can't risk hurting your or our moms or Brooklyn. I can't!" Yet being separated from them had been suffocating his heart. He was staying away to protect them but it had been hurting himself the whole time. Though he would always put their safety before his own. He couldn't live any other way.