06-05-2009, 04:42 PM
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600+
Her eyes remained focused on the never ending blue horizon. Her tears were beginning to collect in a matted clump at several long hairs of her cheeks and chin, dripping off and even some successfully becoming absorbed into the moistened sands that meshed with the ocean, becoming one with the great waters. Fortunately her breathing from the previous head butt and combination of heavy put sobs was starting to slowly but surely return to its regular, normal routine of breathing. The salty air stung her lungs considerably, but it was a feeling that made her feel alive, more alive than ever before. Alive for the fact that the truth was out there, that Catalyst took the boy’s words as firm truth. Mother had left her and her siblings here because she hated them. She didn’t want them in her life, and this was their only option. Considering this place was like a heaven to other places where the fates of the five really couldn’t be determined then, and who knows what kind of lives they would be living now. For reasons to perhaps be thankful that Anyanka dropped them off here, still… where did she go? Why couldn’t they come along? If she hated them so, then for what reason was the hate there?
It was a thought process too complicated yet for her mind, at this time in the cycle of her life. About to go on four months, matters like this were misunderstood in her mind, not easily dissected and able to critically think all the reasons, views, possibilities. Keeping her eyes in the distance, really gazing into nothingness now, it was best that her thought process stop here. If it continued, there would be dead ends, confusion. It was put in simple terms by the boy, hate, and simple terms was what all Catalyst could work with at this point.
Snapping herself back to reality, her head turned absently to where her dual eyes casted behind her shoulder, watching as the boy long since rose upon his paws and began to pad off with a figure just as sullen as her outlook. Watching him walk off, at first Catalyst didn’t say a word. The gratefulness that she felt in that glimpse of emotion, it confused her. Was she grateful for the boy being honest to her about her situation? Was she grateful that he had the courage to say such a thing? For someone who nearly ran her down in the sand, it confused her as to why she felt this surge of gratefulness. Giving another sniffle, it was then she abruptly called out to him. “Wait.” She said simply, the word looming awkward to her in the air. There was a drawn out pause, before her voice cracked once again, possibly so low that perhaps he couldn’t have heard her well at first. “Do you’s… understand?” It was a question in reference to what she had said before about herself and what she stood for. It didn’t matter what you knew, but it mattered what you stood for. If anything, before the boy made his way away from the scene, Catalyst wanted to at least know what he thought about before. Just an answer, any answer would do for her. If it was yes, great; if it was no, then okay. At least she got her point across, and that was what mattered.
And maybe too, unknowingly to Catalyst’s knowledge, that it was also a question asked in understanding of Conor’s personal situation as well, if he decided to reveal such a shocking fact to her.
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600+
Her eyes remained focused on the never ending blue horizon. Her tears were beginning to collect in a matted clump at several long hairs of her cheeks and chin, dripping off and even some successfully becoming absorbed into the moistened sands that meshed with the ocean, becoming one with the great waters. Fortunately her breathing from the previous head butt and combination of heavy put sobs was starting to slowly but surely return to its regular, normal routine of breathing. The salty air stung her lungs considerably, but it was a feeling that made her feel alive, more alive than ever before. Alive for the fact that the truth was out there, that Catalyst took the boy’s words as firm truth. Mother had left her and her siblings here because she hated them. She didn’t want them in her life, and this was their only option. Considering this place was like a heaven to other places where the fates of the five really couldn’t be determined then, and who knows what kind of lives they would be living now. For reasons to perhaps be thankful that Anyanka dropped them off here, still… where did she go? Why couldn’t they come along? If she hated them so, then for what reason was the hate there?
It was a thought process too complicated yet for her mind, at this time in the cycle of her life. About to go on four months, matters like this were misunderstood in her mind, not easily dissected and able to critically think all the reasons, views, possibilities. Keeping her eyes in the distance, really gazing into nothingness now, it was best that her thought process stop here. If it continued, there would be dead ends, confusion. It was put in simple terms by the boy, hate, and simple terms was what all Catalyst could work with at this point.
Snapping herself back to reality, her head turned absently to where her dual eyes casted behind her shoulder, watching as the boy long since rose upon his paws and began to pad off with a figure just as sullen as her outlook. Watching him walk off, at first Catalyst didn’t say a word. The gratefulness that she felt in that glimpse of emotion, it confused her. Was she grateful for the boy being honest to her about her situation? Was she grateful that he had the courage to say such a thing? For someone who nearly ran her down in the sand, it confused her as to why she felt this surge of gratefulness. Giving another sniffle, it was then she abruptly called out to him. “Wait.” She said simply, the word looming awkward to her in the air. There was a drawn out pause, before her voice cracked once again, possibly so low that perhaps he couldn’t have heard her well at first. “Do you’s… understand?” It was a question in reference to what she had said before about herself and what she stood for. It didn’t matter what you knew, but it mattered what you stood for. If anything, before the boy made his way away from the scene, Catalyst wanted to at least know what he thought about before. Just an answer, any answer would do for her. If it was yes, great; if it was no, then okay. At least she got her point across, and that was what mattered.
And maybe too, unknowingly to Catalyst’s knowledge, that it was also a question asked in understanding of Conor’s personal situation as well, if he decided to reveal such a shocking fact to her.
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