this isn't very good... 500+
Every part of her wanted to be close to the other female, and just one told her to keep her distance. It was a memory that made her pause, made the wolfess second guess every action. Had this happened with Geneva? Was this the same situation? The questions suddenly bombarded her mind, sending Anu into a hidden state of anxiety. How did she make her feel this way, the way the other gray coated woman had? Anu was no a novice when it came to fleeting relationships. No, Anu could not blame every failed partnership on the other, but she was always felt with the same feeling. She would never be enough, no matter how hard she tried. She could tell now, or at least she hoped that she could, when it would be only a passing phase, something for Coli to grow out of. Though as she watched her, the long hair threatening to cover the angelic face of the young woman, Anu wanted to try once again and know how deep they might journey.
And then she was suddenly lost, amid the need she felt, the gravity that had turned and pulled her closer the younger female, and those soft cautioned features of her face. She was lost in the bright waters of the girl’s blue eyes, and the future that had been only hazy with possibilities was now unknown entirely. In the same instant Anu wanted to move forward, she cried to move away. To have her heart broken again, or to break the sweet heart Coli possessed were possibilities that she did not want to make reality. The only way to protect it would be to shy away, hide it within her chest and let nothing touch it. Even if it was possible for her to do so, Anu knew that its whole form was not worth the risk. Risk would be; walking away, leaving and letting all of it stay unknown. Risk of loosing the connection that held them among the flowers that they loved so dearly. Risks Anu was not whiling to take.
Eyes could only watch her, trying to read the thoughts inside her mind. Anu hoped there was hesitation and second-guessing. She wished desperately that Coli knew everything, things that Anu hadn’t told a single soul. Her past, the way she had let the love she and her mate had once had slip from their fingers in hopes of being with another. Everything. The broken pieces of her heart that were left when Geneva had left for another pack, and the anger and hatred she felt towards her now. She wanted all of it to be just understood, but never wanted to speak the painful words. But the ones that passed through her ears made her melt, and a smile that had been lost while she debated with reason and emotion returned. How she wanted to be that for her, the yearning to be the best of everything, to be there for all of her favorite memories and to hold Coli in her own felt right. It was a feeling that came quickly and swept them both into a whirlwind.
Anu let her eyes part from her face, looking down at the flower that had been offered to her. It was a promise, not a commitment. A promise and a chance, a chance to see each other again and the promise of remembrance. It was hard for Anu to forget her past; it was impossible to keep it at arms length. But she refused to let it be the precedent for her future. It was opportunity, a chance, and a risk. If only Coli knew that Anu was not as innocent as she was, I felt as if it was a dream, that moment, Blue eyes met their match, searching and hoping to explain that she was no fairytale, she was not new to the love of women and she was a poor teacher, but failed miserably. when I kissed you. Finishing the sentence made it more real to the older female, now that she said the verb aloud as well. Now I know how real you are. And how she felt, and how confused she was. Anu held her head slightly tighter, as if feeling the memory she held of that night and guiding Coli towards the possibilities. |