The boy could now feel the echo of his heart thundering against his eardrums, as if his heart was everywhere in the body at the exact same time. It made it twice as scary to stand there with the flower in his mouth. It was not before now that he managed to realize that she had actually not remembered him. However, now she did and suddenly he felt quite sick to his stomach. Had he just hoped that she did not remember? Had she done it all the time? Did she really hate him as much as he feared she would? Please, no, he hoped she didn’t. He had wanted to confirm that she was pretty back then when he had been asked, but.. Well, he had no explanation at all why he had not agreed. He had felt out of place and spooked by a sudden attack of claustrophobia. He had just wanted everyone to go away, and he had hurt her in order to reach that goal. It was wrong.
Stumbling words fell out of her, and he could all too well see the tears that were welling up in the girl’s pretty eyes. Conor took them for sad tears immediately and let go of the flower instantly only so that he could form a pout and go into his sad and emo stance. His copper dropped miserably and his tail shivered against his not-plump-enough belly. Oh no. Oh no. Oh what was he going to do. He wanted to cry. He wanted to turn around and run home and hide under the bed until Alexey would come and drag him out of there. He just wanted to do things right. Why was it so hard. His eyes turned slightly wet as well, although no tears managed to swell up to a size where they could tour away from his lilac eyes.
”Cambria, I diden’t mean it, you are super pretty, even prettyier than the flower.” he managed to push forth, his voice thick with regret and sadness for the horrible no that had seemingly ruined both of their lives (right now it felt that way at least!). Conor could no longer stand to look upon her form anymore. It hurt so much to see her like that. He hated that the little girl cried wet and salty tears because of him. Like with Catalyst, what had happened with Cambria had taught him the power of words. There was no need for truth behind them in order for them to be able to sting. It was very horrible, and saying mean and especially mean and untrue things made Conor horrible too. Maybe even more horrible than his own father.
Most likely Haku had merely been honest when scolding and insulting his youngest son- No, no! The boy tried to push the unpleasant and crushing thoughts away. These were what could ruin the boy completely if he let his mind linger too much on that particular field of his past. New beginnings were good, and he tried to force his light gaze up to Cambria again while attempting to produce a little smile for her.