07-31-2009, 04:12 AM
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OOC: ::Word Count:: 500+
It took a lot of Urma's resolve and composure to not break into tears at what Savina was telling her. Thinking of Pilot, although painful, always gave her a sense of peace, always put her at ease with herself, always calmed her down. But thinking of Pilot as hurt, broken, as Savina had put it, did nothing but put the bricks for an imaginary place she wished she could encase her memories of Pilot in. But it was useless to pretend nothing had happened. Much as she tried, she couldn't imagine Pilot any different. Laying down next to him not far from where she was now, looking at a sky not very different from this one, were the only things she could associate him with. The pain, the suffering Savina talked to her about seemed forlorn. But Urma couldn't know more than the ebony female. Her searches had proved futile. At least Savina had seen him, even in that state, even for a bit.
"I've been gone for so long. Sometimes I thought the roads would never end and none would ever bring me back here. Other times I'd glimpse a shine of what looked like white fur and race to catch up with it, only to find it was the shimmer of the moon on the sea or some other small animal that I'd frighten off. But I always thought I'd find him. Even when there were no more places for me to go and I decided to head back here, I was driven by the certainty that I'd find him at the boundaries of Crimson Dreams, just like he found me at the boundaries of Shadowed Sun. I ran here as fast as I could, ignoring the fact that I still couldn't pick up his scent, no matter how much closer I got." She'd barely whispered the last sentence, her voice diminishing, her last reserves of energy failing her. She buried her head in her paws, letting out a long, despairing wail, agonized by the fact that her efforts had eventually come down to nothing. Part of her envied Savina for having seen Pilot at all, while the other part knew it would have broken her too to see him that way.
The tears trickled down the side of her muzzle, and she felt grateful for her friend's proximity, for her warmth. She buried her nose further between her paws, trying to regain her composure, to find a solution out of this situation, just like she'd always found solutions. But the disappointment of having failed to find Pilot threaten to strangle even her most hesitant hopes. What was there left for her. Everything she had had, all her energy, all her determination had been poured into her image of finally snuggling side by side with him. What would she do now, when not even her memories of him portrayed him the way he was now? How come no one knew? Who would do such a thing? "I've been gone for so long," Urma continued, as if she hadn't interrupted her thoughts, "but I always thought that no matter where he was, he was safe. When I'd find him, he'd be just like before. And all this time I've been trying to find him, I never knew the extent of his pain."
It took a lot of Urma's resolve and composure to not break into tears at what Savina was telling her. Thinking of Pilot, although painful, always gave her a sense of peace, always put her at ease with herself, always calmed her down. But thinking of Pilot as hurt, broken, as Savina had put it, did nothing but put the bricks for an imaginary place she wished she could encase her memories of Pilot in. But it was useless to pretend nothing had happened. Much as she tried, she couldn't imagine Pilot any different. Laying down next to him not far from where she was now, looking at a sky not very different from this one, were the only things she could associate him with. The pain, the suffering Savina talked to her about seemed forlorn. But Urma couldn't know more than the ebony female. Her searches had proved futile. At least Savina had seen him, even in that state, even for a bit.
"I've been gone for so long. Sometimes I thought the roads would never end and none would ever bring me back here. Other times I'd glimpse a shine of what looked like white fur and race to catch up with it, only to find it was the shimmer of the moon on the sea or some other small animal that I'd frighten off. But I always thought I'd find him. Even when there were no more places for me to go and I decided to head back here, I was driven by the certainty that I'd find him at the boundaries of Crimson Dreams, just like he found me at the boundaries of Shadowed Sun. I ran here as fast as I could, ignoring the fact that I still couldn't pick up his scent, no matter how much closer I got." She'd barely whispered the last sentence, her voice diminishing, her last reserves of energy failing her. She buried her head in her paws, letting out a long, despairing wail, agonized by the fact that her efforts had eventually come down to nothing. Part of her envied Savina for having seen Pilot at all, while the other part knew it would have broken her too to see him that way.
The tears trickled down the side of her muzzle, and she felt grateful for her friend's proximity, for her warmth. She buried her nose further between her paws, trying to regain her composure, to find a solution out of this situation, just like she'd always found solutions. But the disappointment of having failed to find Pilot threaten to strangle even her most hesitant hopes. What was there left for her. Everything she had had, all her energy, all her determination had been poured into her image of finally snuggling side by side with him. What would she do now, when not even her memories of him portrayed him the way he was now? How come no one knew? Who would do such a thing? "I've been gone for so long," Urma continued, as if she hadn't interrupted her thoughts, "but I always thought that no matter where he was, he was safe. When I'd find him, he'd be just like before. And all this time I've been trying to find him, I never knew the extent of his pain."
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