Haven had wanted to go to her, to go find her and try to make things right, but he had been a coward. Seeing and hearing that anger from her directed at him had nearly undone him and he wasn't sure if he could survive another blow. Mati meant so much to him and he had hurt her and hurt her badly. Perhaps even worse than when he had left his once home. The thought made him sick to his stomach. It made him feel worse that that night with Princess had actually made him feel better. It had actually healed some of the hurt that Siobhan had done to him. Jacquez had been right where Haven had never thought he would be. Where he had never wanted him to be.
He hadn't had a good night's sleep in at least a month. Images always haunted his dreams and made him jerk in his sleep. That would aggravate the wounds on his body and wake him up. His appearance was incredibly bedraggled, but one thing he hadn't done was returned to the bottle. He had brought no alcohol home with him from the city and what he had won in the race he had given away. When he drank it only seemed to hurt as much as it helped. It felt great at the time but after there was always guilt and remorse, now more than ever. Maybe he really was no good though. Maybe his fears had been right all along.
Weary the hybrid wandered away from his home, walking with no particular destination in mind. Jade eyes were hollow as he walked. He had even lapsed in bringing his sword with him. A small, morbid part of him almost wished that something would attack him. If he died then he would never hurt anyone again, and right now that seemed a pleasant prospect. A scent came to him just as a voice rose in the air and a chill ran down his spine. Swallowing he found himself pulled in the direction even as part of him wanted to run away. He approached the tree slowly, head hunched, ears back, and tail tucked. When he was about fifteen yards away his feet stopped and would go no further. He looked at her with fear and was ready to run at the first sign of her rejection to his presence.
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