a fear i cannot shape

[Sofia]

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yeaah like first week of december or so~ and oh, should death threads get m tags? probb, i'll toss one up there.

There was a touch on her neck; her mind snapped back to reality, and she was momentarily surprised that it had wandered so far. It took a ridiculous amount of time and effort to focus enough to flutter open eyelids, and then further amounts of strain to bring the world back into focus. As she stirred back towards life, fear became a pressing thing. She had gone so far, she had gone so far, she was dying dying and going to be dead before she even knew it. She had been slipping away, and didn't even notice. When her eyes focused, though, the panic subsided a little. "Ka..kaena." It was a friend. The only one she had made since she came to these lands, really. Finn too, maybe, but.. Nothing nearly like what her lofty goals had been. She was going to come out here and life. She was going to make dozens of friends, and enemies even, and.. do all sorts of things that she hadn't, that she.. never would, now.

But there had been a connection, at least. Sofia had been able to craft at least one. Maybe her corpse would even make it back to rest beside the family that wasn't ever really hers. A perfect little graveyard of people that Calypso had loved, had cared about, then lost. She regretted for the first time that she had ran away. He had lost as surely when she walked off their packlands as he would have if she had just stayed there to die beside him. Did it really hurt him less to think she just didn't care enough to stick around? At least in dying, it wasn't a deliberate thing. In his mind, though, she had chosen to abandon him. It might have been different, had she actually accomplished any of her dreams, had she filled her last few months with contentment and new experiences.. But she hadn't. And it was too late, now.

She struggled to speak. She should have asked earlier, when talking was easier. "Can you-- When I.." A pause for coughing. Her lungs took way too much effort to inflate. It felt like they were clogged with glue. "Can you take my body west? My dad had a graveyard, near the river in Storm territory.. Yawry? Yawreh? Do you.. do you know Storm?" Her voice drifted. Oh, she hoped Kaena knew where the pack was. It would be so hard to describe how to locate it.

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