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Tayui watched quietly as Attila took in her words. Although she had wanted to keep this meeting light and cheerful, she couldn’t fool herself any longer. She had been hurt by his disappearance, and even though she still took responsibility for her part in this, she still felt saddened by her son’s sudden disappearance. All but Claudius had left her, and although she still had Honoré with her, he wasn’t her son. Attila was, and she had missed him sorely. His reaction to her words only confirmed this, and for a moment, Tayui felt guilty for making him feel bad. But at the same time, she had felt rather lonely without her vibrant children by her. She missed them – all of them, for they were all unique. She missed having to try to keep Attila from concocting mischievous plans, trying to keep Ocèane from wandering out of AniWayan territory where she could get hurt when she had been young, ensuring that Noir’s army of small, cute creatures were safe, and keeping Claudius occupied. She felt like she hadn’t done a lot, but she had missed being a mother.
No, she felt ridiculous. Only moments ago, she had resolved to take responsibility for her actions. She was Attila’s mother, and a lot of her decisions had a great impact on her son. Now, all she could feel regret. What was wrong with her?
“Of course!” Tayui replied quickly, realizing then she might have hurt him with her jests. She frowned, realizing that her son really had changed in her absence. She would get to know him again and hopefully fix their relationship. Attila spoke again, causing Tayui to frown once more.
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” she said quietly. She sat up properly, and then pushed herself to her feet. She paused for a moment, and then laid her head on her son’s shoulder. If she were in her Optime form like he was, she would have embraced him. Instead, she settled for this, pressing her cheek against his in consolation. “It’s not your fault. It’s the way of the world; foxes and wolves are predators,” she added hesitantly. Certainly, he knew this, but it helped her to know that his owl’s death was a part of the cycle of life and death. It happened, for a reason; perhaps to help the fox feed its family. Perhaps so that Markku could assume a new form.
“But you still have Markku,” she noted. “And me; I love you, Attila.” She still had not found her spirit guide. In fact, she had not even tried. She had met many spirit guides, but not her own. She did not know if it was because she lacked some sort of faith, or if she had seen enough ghosts in her time and did not want to see another. Her meeting with Nayati had left her somewhat perplexed, wondering how these real AniWayans could hold so many beliefs. They had faith in things they could see, such as spirit guides, but also attached folly meaning to names and words. Tayui still did not know how she felt about this.