i am sand

Attila Aston · 05-27-2010, 12:44 AM

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She was quick to push aside his self-damaging remarks, predictable as the mother she was. She loved him dearly, he knew; Tayui had always been gentle with he and his siblings, performing well as a first-time mother when their father was absent. Never before this conversation had she made mention of him, really. Attila had always figured she wanted to handle raising her children on her own, unconcerned with the whereabouts of their father. She had done well, though her children each grew to be suspiciously strange—Noir and her doll, Claudius' constant wimpyness, Attila the bully, and... well, Oceane had been oddly fond of fire despite her name.

He grew up knowing he was loved and safe. He knew he was probably the last of his siblings she would brag about for his tendencies in behavior, and yet still she pushed that he was talented and she was proud of him. His ears flicked, first forward intently, then back. She did not know his ways, did not know the many things he had done she would never approve of. The countless women of the night, the hundreds of faces he had never put names to, the hundreds more he'd stepped on for his own pleasures. The Aston boy did not regret a thing—but it shamed him to know Tayui had tried desperately to raise him well, and although she praised him, he was not and had never been the son she perceived him to be.

Iced eyes fell as his arm lowered the still fish, laying it across his lap. "I've done a lot of things, mom," he admitted finally, tone grave and eyes averted. "Catching fish is all I'm good for now." And I'm no better than the father I never had.

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