look @ this perfect table!!!... <3
She had always wanted to feel this way, even before she knew what this was. Before she could even put it to words (though such a thing was still a difficult task), and before she could see it in Cambria, Mati had wanted this. The yearning to belong to a pack was instinctual drive, and Mati knew that the wanting to be close to one single being was instinctual as well. It was strong in her, and heart wishing for one soul that it could connect to without insecurity and without fear. She needed that; her past had driven her to need the safety and the security that the young and fragile girl gave her. Unknowingly she was scared that someone stronger then she would hurt her, run from her as those in her history had. But that internal construction did not shadow the pure honest feelings that the Marino girl brought to her. If anything that had only made it easier for her to forget her questions and the what –ifs that tore her heart and mind to pieces and made her step away from Cambria during that first embrace.
It was love. It was the way she had grown to know those close to her. It was the desire to never be without and to always know that she would be there for her. It was the beating of her heart, and a new warmth that rose in her and could not be ignored. Mati wanted to protect her, want to always be close and to always know that their feelings for each other would live as long as they did.
It was love. But Mati didn’t know that yet. Love was powerful and overwhelming and frightening. It had brought her to tears when she had thought that maybe she would need to live without the other female, and it had almost destroyed her at the notion that she may have caused her death. And it brought her the most moving and indescribable relief knowing that she was whole and that she would heal to the perfection that Mati always considered her to be.
Cambria’s soft words brought forth another need. To show her that she was more beautiful then anything that had ever been born from the Earth. Prettier then any flower that blossomed, clearer then any cloudless sky. She didn’t know how, her words the only way she could express it, but she wanted to instill that feeling in her forever.
The Church female linked her fingers with Cambi’s, and wanted to be closer. The nose found her own and Mati closed her eyes, smiling as she felt the comforting touch. She wished to bury her nose in the fur of her mane, to let the relief that welled in her eyes pout out and to finally feel that they were safe. Her palm lay softly on the dark chocolate cheek, fingers touching the soft fur that rested at the base of her ear. Violet eyes opened and watched her resting face. There was a heated tide that rolled through her body that she had never experienced, and it almost hurt to not be able to hold the smaller woman against her. Mati moved her nose to meet Cambria’s, her lips seeking the ones that match them so perfectly in the need to feel the energy that ran though her each time they did and curb the dull ache that she so suddenly felt.
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