Sorry for the length! I needed to get some backstory out of the waaayy. I also keep forgetting to put the word count on all my posts.
And thank you! Yours was just as lovely. <3
WC: 1097
As he stood there, Rynnas couldn't help but wonder about his current situation. Not the awful news he was about to give to a practical stranger, but about how he felt since all that had transpired. He vaguely wondered whether or not any of this would get easier. If breathing would hurt a little less, if perhaps he'd be able to sleep through the night without being wakened by the aching need inside of him. He could try to keep busy during the day, burying himself deep within some task or another, distract himself. But there was nothing he could do to protect his mind while he slept – it wandered freely and always ended up in the same place. Memories that hurt too much to be of comfort just yet. They were once sources of such joy – not a reminder but a promise of more to come. Now they left him hollow, gasping for breath or some semblance of control. He'd struggle to keep himself together, but in the darkness of night there wasn't much hope. Besides, who would see him fall apart?
He remembered speaking to his Grandfather a little before leaving Jasper Valley. Discussions of what happened were always difficult, capable of rendering Rynnas inconsolable. But with Freak, it came a little easier. His Grandfather was old and in his long life, the massive male had learned a lot about loss. When Rynnas asked whether or not it ever got better, his brother had much to say. He'd gazed upon his grandson with eyes full of understanding, bright blue depths tainted with their own sadness. It's hard to describe, Ry. I wouldn't say it gets easier, exactly. The hurt doesn't go away after time. It's more as if you become stronger, more capable of carrying the burden. He sighed deeply, lifting a giant hand and placing it on the young one's shoulder. Stuff like this doesn't heal on its own. It involves a lot of personal reflection and a lot of grieving. It won't be easy.
Freak was never one to be overtly emotional, and he never pulled his punches. But he did know what he was talking about. But after a while, you won't ache as much. You'll survive. He saw that Rynnas was about to break and became slightly uncomfortable despite himself. He was good with love, believed in it entirely. It was just hard for him to display it unless he was with Ravyn. And you'll realize after a while that Elliot would never want you to be hurting so badly for so long. He'd want you to move on. Rynnas made a sound of indignation, his face contorting into a look of horror. Freak hurried on, putting a hand up to stop Rynnas from saying whatever angry exclamation was on his mind. His tone was firm, but kind. You don't see it now and maybe you won't for a while. But the perspective will come. Right now it's hard to believe because you're still raw. But trust me, Ry. You just need to hurt for a little longer. And despite everything he felt, the young Rynnas believed his Grandfather wholeheartedly.
Now, months later he still believed the Jasper Valley Patriarch. He was still deeply grieving, and sometimes he seemed impossible for him to move on, but he still held out hope. In some situations it was very faint, especially right now as he stood with his sister in law. He was often barely capable of handling his own sadness. But when he spoke of everything with others, he felt their sadness as well, almost doubling it. Twin desolation. He wanted to hold out on speaking as long as he could, but Bris' movement yanked him from his thoughts. She rested her hand on his shoulder and the contact made the behemoth jerk away, his eyes startled. His breath came in gasps for a few seconds before he was able to reign himself in. Once he was under control, he grabbed at Bris' hand, pulling it toward himself in a surprisingly intimate gesture. He couldn't bring himself to be embarrassed, either. They didn't know each other, but they were still family. They could comfort each other, share memories when it wasn't too painful. This revelation gave Rynnas the push he needed in order to speak. It still wasn't easy.
A few months ago, uh – there was a fight. Um, between the pack and the remaining Shadowrunners? What was supposed to be a statement came out as a question as Rynnas wondered whether or not Bris knew of Jasper Valley's history. Would she know of Fear and the legacy he left behind with those who still supported him? He'd been killed by Freak a long while back, but the hatred and prejudice hadn't died along with him. For a while the remaining supporters had merely taken off, setting up residence elsewhere. But after a while there were grumbles of discontent. A harsh exchange here and there, perhaps even a couple of skirmishes but nothing too serious. And then all hell broke loose without any warning. The Jasper Valley pack was strong in numbers and the Shadowrunners had no chance, but there were still casualties. The fight was short but brutal, ending with a few of Fear's disciples surviving and fleeing into the mountains, leaving the pack behind to mourn their losses. Bris would have no idea that any of that transpired, but perhaps she knew of the history nonetheless. He was on a roll now, about to take the plunge and the male didn't want to have to pause to explain any back story before ripping the band-aid off. If she was confused he could always backtrack after it was all done.
The Shadowrunners didn't have a chance, but still... He swallowed and the giant's grasp tightened. Some of us died and -uh...Eli....Eli was one of them. He trembled and his head bowed under the weight of his emotions. Sadness, defeat, relief at finally delivering his news and even guilty regret for being the one to tell her. He didn't know Bris very well and had no idea as to how she'd take the news. But as he held her hand tightly and waited for her reaction, he thought of how alone he'd been all these months and promised himself that he wouldn't let his sister go through this without his help.