[M] - We can live like Jack and Sally if we want

Silas Agata · 11-03-2010, 06:14 PM

Here, have some word vomit. <33 +10
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This inner turmoil had been his for over a month now, and it had seldom gotten any easier. There was a persistent weight in his chest and nothing seemed able to move it any. Any thoughts of Cour des Miracles, Russia, family, the ocean, sailing, fishing, vodka, English, siblings, etc. (for really Silas had discovered this list went on and on) instantly brought on a new sense of hurt and Silas found his mind stumbling and veering out of control into that darkness that constantly plagued his heart. He couldn’t understand why the departure of his father and sister seemed to haunt him so heavily – he had grown away from them and become more attached to Inferni in the last year, it seemed. And yet, the depression their departure had coaxed into life was daunting. Perhaps he was just scared to grow up, and that’s what all of this meant. After all, Daddy wasn’t right around the corner to solve any of his problems any more.

Her touch sent a shock through his system, and instantly a warmth blossomed beneath her palm. She could not understand how comforting that simple gesture was – how much Silas absolutely needed it. And yet, it was not enough. The young Russian was greedy, and wanted to lean into her so that he could steal more of her touch. How easily he could picture himself letting arms snake around her waist and pulling her into his chest. So simple, so needed, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to do it. No matter how much he didn’t want to admit it, he was too fragile right now. That simple fact drove him mad.

He wished there was some way he could tell her how much this meant to him; show her how this simple act of hers meant so much to him now. It was not her fault in the least bit, but Silas clung to those apologetic words. She felt sympathy for him – not pity, but compassion. That’s all he could hope for.

"Yes," he started softly, and then wondered how true his words were. In the past year, since Silas had decided to join the ranks of Inferni out of youthful defiance and adventure, he had grown away from his family. Still, he had grown up very close to them. Life in Russia had been very tight knit and the time spent on the boat together to bring them overseas had only strengthened the relationship. Sure, they had gotten on each other nerves some (which is to be expected to take place between siblings in close proximity for a long period) but they also had a relationship that was stronger than most. Their departure solidified the fact that their relationship had weakened severely, if not been severed entirely.

"Vell, we were close. Vhen I came to leeve in Inferni, zhey leeved een Halifax for avhile. Zhen zhey vent and leeved vith zhat pack of hybrids, Cour des Miracles. Ve’ve not been so close now, only because ve didn’t see each ozher as much." He couldn’t help feeling guilty, and thinking this was somewhat his fault. Maybe if he had gone to see his family more, they’d have been inclined to stay in Nova Scotia. He shrugged then, for that was the only thing he could think to do to try and dispel the hurt for now. Instead, he turned his attention to hearing about Itachi. Now that he had this time with Halo, he didn’t want to ruin it with depressing talk of his family’s departure. Silas had had plenty of time already to let it plague his mind.

He was glad to hear that Itachi was doing alright, though slightly surprised that he was not living with Halo. Secretly, he was glad to know this. He hadn’t seen the youngster around before (which was no longer a surprise, to know he wasn’t living in D’Neville) so the idea of his existence was still somewhat hard to believe. It made Halo no less desirable to him, especially since he now knew the circumstances. In fact, because of the circumstances, he only wanted to make sure they were both alright. It was relieving to know he was well. It was relieving to know she lived alone. Perhaps this would give him the room he needed to try and work his way further into Halo’s life. She couldn’t possibly realize it, for even Silas hadn’t fully, but she was the only thing now that rooted him to Inferni. Sure, it had come to be his home in the last year, but if Halo hadn’t been living there or if there had been no hope that something might blossom between them, Silas would most definitely find a way to head back home to Russia. Halo alone was the one to make this feel like home.

"Good, I’m glad," and a smile worked its way onto his features. "He must be getting much bigger now, ya?" He didn’t know exactly how old Itachi was (or really, anything about the child) but Silas was well aware that the first few months went by fast, and that Halo’s son would be a rambunctious adolescent soon enough, if not already. He wondered if the mystery of his father would be solved as he grew older and his traits began to develop into something more permanent. Would his appearance or perhaps a unique mannerism provide clues? Even though it wasn’t his fight to fight, Silas still had thoughts of eventual vengeance.

"How ‘ave you been in zhe meantime?" He was well aware she had to be struggling with the changes in her life too. One didn't experience something as traumatic as she had and walk away completely unchanged or unharmed. There had to be things that haunted her sleep, just as there were for Silas. For now, pale eyes had fallen from the ruby and absentmindedly traced the copper curve of a thigh before once again finding the golden dragon at her wrist.

table by kahilli

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