kill me, work is slaughter Dx;
Noss moved and the redhead stiffened instantly, wondering what the man was going to do. The touch he thought he was expecting never came and the other man simply knelt before him. For a moment, Strel did not look at him, forcing his lavender eyes at the wall that Mati had so carefully painted for him, letting his mind go into the wonderful mural she made for him. Oh, how he wished he could disappear into the pigment and pretend none of this was going on. It was awkward and embarrassing for the redhead and he hated it. There was so much he could not control and this was just something that had spiraled out of his fingertips. But he had no way to vent his frustration, not in a civil nor appropriate manner for this kind of a situation.
The other man touched his face and the redhead's arms jerked at the surprising contact. His nails dug so hard and so suddenly into the blanket at that moment that he almost tore through it. Eyes shut, Strel knew he was facing Noss. Opening them for a moment, slowly raising them to look at the other man, the redhead knew his arms would shake if they were not so firmly planted where they were. By the time he was looking straight at another pair of eyes, a good few moments had gone by and Strel was aware of how painfully slow he had been moving.
"Can we not talk about this..?" he asked weakly, knowing that Noss would probably say no and delve deeper into something Strel was not prepare to hear or something he did not want to hear at all. "Can we talk about something else? Or.. go do something else?" Anything. Please. God he hated this, not being able to just meet this head on, like he always did. But this was an awkward situation and Strel avoided those like the plague.
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