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He flinched when he heard his sister reply, unable to think of what he could do or say or even think that would make this better. Everything he had been trying to deal with and move on was all just coming back now and it hurt just as much as it had the first time. No, that was wrong; it hurt even more because now he had to make his only remaining sister hurt too. He didn’t want to hurt Ocèane: she was his sister and he loved her. He didn’t ever want to hurt the people he loved. He just didn’t have it in him.
He shrugged helplessly when Ocèane question him. He had no answers. He only had the truth and it hurt so much. He continued to wring his hands, but kept his eyes closed. He felt his hands begin to shake and as he reflected on this, thinking how when his hands always began to shake when he was about to cry, he felt wet tears on his cheeks. He kept his eyes closed because he didn’t want his sister watch him cry. He wanted to be strong, but he just wasn’t.
When she asked another question – and another – he just nodded silently and blindly in response. He sniffled and let go of his hands to wipe at his nose and then wipe at his fur. When Ocèane spoke again, he opened his eyes to see the blurry shape of his worried sister and her monster in the background. He jumped slightly, forgetting she had brought a horse with her. He shook his head when she started to apologize; maybe it was better she hadn’t been here. Momma had been so sad and Claudius had been so sad too. It had not been happy.
“O-o-ocè-a-a-ne,” he spoke finally, “H-h-h-haku is d-d-d-d-ead.”