OOC: I was sad when I saw that D: Oh well, it happens *pats* Also the scar that Kemo's pointing to, the one Sanuye's going to give him, hasn't really been discussed yet. It's there, just don't know where it is yet, or if it's really going to be there :3 Mucho Dialogue 
Kemo smiled and laughed at her comment, hugging her closer to him when he felt her let the tears flow. "Well you got me there, but you know what I mean." He chuckled, letting her mind wander and her emotions flood through. Kemo could hear the gears grinding in her head, could feel the delicate changes in speed of her heartbeat. He decided to allow her to let it all out, comforting where he could and overall just being there for her.
As she cried into his chest he began to think of ways he could tell her everything he wished to tell her. He couldn't lie anymore, he knew he would get caught up in that, but this wasn't just a simple confession to something he did, no...this was far more complicated than that. Where could he begin? What should he tell her first? Should he tell her the good news or the bad news first? What if he told her the good news first and all the bad news clouded it out, or what if he told her the bad news and the same thing happened? I suppose I don't have to tell her everything... But that made him into a liar and it would jeopardize, if any, the trust that might remain with Ralla after everything was said and done.
But then she surprised him, telling him she had something to confess as well. That jumpstarted his thoughts and heart. Hell if Ralla had his heart reading abilities, she might have been able to figure out what was going on in his mind without needing an explanation. Her statement had convinced him, somewhat at least, and it gave him something to cling on to when the dams would burst and she would know everything.
He sighed, knowing it was time, and took a deep breath, exhaling in a nervous sigh and clearing his throat, ears laying slack against his head. "Ralla...I'm very much looking forward to what you have to say, but there is a huge burden on and in my chest, and that burden must be released. I have made my decision." He sat in silence for a moment. "I don't really know where to begin, but I suppose it could start just after our journey to Cour des Miracles. You see, after you left, I was heartbroken, but on top of that, I was angry, like beyond anything you have ever seen. I came across a wolfess and she further escalated my anger, so I left the Cour Des Miracles territories and headed to one of the most secluded areas I could find to be alone, which you can prolly imagined I needed desperately. This is where things start to lose their sense."
He paused, knowing this would be the point of no return. Once he let her know what happened and what kind of a wolf he really was, surely this would be the straw that broke the camel's back on any chance of her wanting to return to him again, but it was the right thing to do. He would do it for her, just as he would do just about anything for her. "In this secluded area, I found a wolfess, or rather, she found me, and she was flying off the handle for some reason. I think it was because I disturbed her home or something...anyways, she got mouthy and I...attacked her." The words left his muzzle with surprising ease, so he continued. "She attacked me with words and claws and teeth, so I returned the favor..slicing her up with claws and teeth, and then...I... He made an effort to look into her eyes. "I raped her."
It was amazing how powerful one simple word or sentence could become when used in a certain way. As soon as the statement left his muzzle, he felt a dark stirring within him, as if he was finding all this quite humorous. Dark humor was the only way he could have described it, but it didn't change the fact that without Ralla in his life, he didn't have a destiny to fulfill. He cleared his throat again and continued. "I raped her and left her for dead, but she's alive and ok, so far as I know...I met her recently and she seems to be doing..ok..for the moment."
That was one down, several more to go. He found as he had managed to confess about the first one, the others didn't seem so bad. "In total, I've raped 3 wolfesses. Two were loners and I've never met before and one I've also never met before, but she..she had a certain scent...Aniwaya.." That one he had trouble with. Ralla was in Aniwaya...how would she take that piece of information, let alone the fact that this rape took place only a day ago? He decided to continue, as if trying to block out that piece of information from processing very much.
"The wolfesses all received pretty nasty wounds, from what I could tell, though they dished back plenty in return. The last one in particular gave me this scar." He pointed out the scar absentmindedly, choosing his next words carefully as he did so. "That's not the worst of it, though...Ralla...I've burned puppies alive. I literally took them in my hand and threw them into the fire, not knowing or caring who they belonged to or what the reason was. I just...did it." That brought a bit of a shock to his mind, but he ignored it for the moment. "I've attacked others, I've raped females without a care, I've burned puppies alive...Ralla...I'm an evil wolf. I'm very much the incarnate of evil and the weird thing is, despite everything, I...love it."
His blind eyes flashed suddenly, though he didn't notice. "I love being evil...I love causing others pain, I love feeling in control, I love being an asshole to others, I love being evil...but..." He looked back into her eyes again, as best as he could. "When I'm with you, it's different. When you are near, I feel more in control of myself. I know that I would never be able to intentionally hurt you or cause pain to you in any way. I know I will always be able to protect you, to care for you, and to be the Kemo you know and love. As I said, I love being evil...but Ralla...sweetheart...wolfess of the Moon Tribe and Aniwaya, I love you so much...and I don't want to ruin any chance of you loving me in return." He stopped, letting that last part sink in. This was it...there was no turning back now, no lying, no avoiding questions. Everything was laid out on the table, so to speak, and now all he could do was hope.
Moon above, please tell me I've done the right thing.
Kemo ”talks”, walks, and
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