Word Count: 484
Left Anathema: Jan 18 2011 (Just keeping tabs on me time line ^^)
Hey, hope you don't mind Alaki :3
His eyes closed as he inhaled the scents that surrounded him, slowly opening them again to reveal ice blue eyes, the coldness in them reflecting his current state of emotion. It was as if everything within him had been frozen, he couldn’t feel anything. He felt dead inside. Yesterday he had tried, oh had he tried to cope; he’d faked a smile, socialized and played nice for the whole day. He’d told himself to change, go out there and make friends, he needed to move on and get himself together; being anti-social in a pack was illogical!
Regardless of his attempts to move on and to be happy, all he felt was solitude and emptiness; normally he was fine without the company of others for he had always carried a part of Jay with him, the necklace Jay gave him provided him with the confidence to be alone; it held pleasant memories, funny conversations, lessons and words of advice that helped him through each day.
After loosing the necklace during his recent fight with J’Adore all he could think about was how he had failed Jay and memories of Jay’s death kept crashing down on him, it was as if he had lost Jay again. There was a small hole in his heart that he’d been trying to ignore, but it was still there. He’d never originally recovered from Jay’s death, holding onto the necklace as a replacement for him. Without it he was forced to come to terms with his loss; Jay was gone, he needed to move on.
He also needed to get out, to do something. It was impossible for him to sit still; being stuck in the same room was not helping. But he couldn’t walk around to much due to his injured foreleg, unless he changed to his optime form. Dangerous, going anywhere in his optime form was dangerous; he was vulnerable in his optime form, he couldn’t fight and defend himself in it, but what did he care? He had nothing to loose and sticking around in his room wasn’t doing much good.
Following that trail of thought he left after changing into his optime form, remembering to pick up his pocket knife and tie it to his ankle. When he left it was still night time, walking through the night he remained hidden, but as he headed towards his destination the sun had risen and lit his path.
It had been awhile and he was beginning to feel the strain of the trek when he saw a river up ahead. Increasing his pace he approached the river, crouching down by it to scoop up some water in his left hand; being care not to knock his right arm which was still in the process of recovering.
Cool water trickled down his throat, lowering himself down he sat by the river, hid feet dipping into it. He closed his eyes and sat there in silence.
