If it has made you colder

Tayui Aston · 02-20-2011, 04:10 PM

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Whooh! Set a little way east of Occasus Promontorium. Tayui is in her lupus form. (542)

It was inevitable that she would return here. Even after Naniko and Theodore’s warnings, she had somehow scoffed to think that Inferni was spying on them. She had never had any problems with Inferni during her tenure as leader of Shadowed Sun. She had admonished her fellow AniWayans when they feared a random attack from Inferni during the Second Dahlian War. She and Gabriel had come to an agreement years ago and even now, they had agreed on some things. He didn’t know that Haku had been both father and murderer to her children, but he knew of the grief that monster had caused her. She was not in debt to Gabriel for killing Haku since Gabriel didn’t think of it the same way Tayui did. But Gabriel understood something about Tayui that she feared she never would. He had warned her that becoming the monster she wanted to be would corrupt her, and she had claimed that if she could not seek the blood of Haku’s children, then she would have to become a monster. She didn’t know what it was, but she couldn’t keep away from Inferni anymore. Anathema might be her home now, but it didn’t feel like it. She had met very few fellow packmembers and her son had disappeared again. She didn’t know what the fuck to do, so she retraced her steps across the mountainside back to the clan. She wanted to find Kaena, but she knew she was too selfish to hope for that. She grimaced, lingering indecisively. She could see the forest beyond the mountain that encircled part of the clanlands, but she didn’t want to get too close. While she respected Kaena and Gabriel, she knew they had a few other characters in there. She had met one before – Ember had decided to die and gotten in a fight with a hideous coyote. Tayui could remember his blood red eyes, but little else. He had been a monster. He was what she would strive to become.

She sighed, wondering for the hundredth time if this had been a good idea. She had no political power now – she was some lowly member of Anathema and didn’t really have anyone to vouch for her. She and Dawali had been close; when Ember had become a sub-leader, Tayui had the support of the leadership. But now? She knew Naniko vaguely, but didn’t have the same sort of security she had in AniWaya. She didn’t know what she wanted to do. She closed her eyes for a moment and then re-opened them, but nothing had changed. She was still here and Inferni was still down the mountain. She hated feeling so lost and she hated how she thought she’d find her answers in a coyote clan. She had never understood Fatin’s interest in the clan until now. They held too many secrets and too many possibilities and she was too curious.

Another sigh. She stood up and began to descend down the side of the mountain, heading south. She didn’t know where to go and she was beginning to miss AniWaya. She had not accomplished anything in her time in this mountain pack. It was just another failed attempt to nurture something that could not be nurtured.

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