03-16-2011, 02:51 AM
He was persistent she realized, feeling faintly trapped. From what little she knew of him, the way he spoke and acted towards her, Saul was a wolf that cared. He probably wouldn't leave until she had eaten something more than frozen badger. Moonglow's stomach gave a lurch at the thought of fresh meat, violent enough that she wasn't sure if it indicated hunger or disgust.
She wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel about the situation she was in. Such personally directed concern felt strange and faintly irritating, like a mouthful of fur. Worse, it implied some small empathy; the first faint stirrings of a connection however small. Such a thing could cause a problem were her life to be... unexpectedly cut short. At this first, truly conscious, acknowledgment that she could willfully allow her life to fade; to push for it even, Moonglow felt herself go still.
She had thought of death before, of course, longed for it even but had never thought to act on that longing. She thought death would come during the quiet times; when she made herself small and still as memories and nightmares prowled at the edges of her mind with teeth bared. Hunger could never touch her then, every time Moonglow came back to the pain of forgotten hunger and the burn of ignored thirst; she wondered if one day she just wouldn't wake at all.
The thought of taking control, of throwing her family into the nothingness of death made the young female prickle with something like longing. Why should she carry their memory? Why would it matter if no one knew that Winterwind hated snow or that Moonshadow loved the smell of sun-warmed daises? No one but her would ever know that Lightstrike loved playing chase on warm evenings with his pups and mate or that Nightsong would always let them howl with her until they collapsed into giddy giggles. Maybe it would be best if they were just forgotten, if the joy and sweetness and horror was never known. Maybe...
Wind ruffled her fur, cold and crisp, gently bringing Moonglow back to now. Thoughts and vague plans sank to glimmer jewel bright beneath the surface. Meanwhile, Moonglow gave Saul a polite sideways glance and flicked her ear thoughtfully. The only sign of her less than healthy thoughts was in the glitter of her golden eyes, which could be easily mistaken for interested consideration of his very generous offer to hunt for her.
"Thank you very much for the offer." Moonglow tilted her ears and flicked her tail in a single wag, portraying 'pleased and happy' with her body language. "I accept, Theta." Moonglow added with another subtle shift to show thanks in body as well as in words.
She wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel about the situation she was in. Such personally directed concern felt strange and faintly irritating, like a mouthful of fur. Worse, it implied some small empathy; the first faint stirrings of a connection however small. Such a thing could cause a problem were her life to be... unexpectedly cut short. At this first, truly conscious, acknowledgment that she could willfully allow her life to fade; to push for it even, Moonglow felt herself go still.
She had thought of death before, of course, longed for it even but had never thought to act on that longing. She thought death would come during the quiet times; when she made herself small and still as memories and nightmares prowled at the edges of her mind with teeth bared. Hunger could never touch her then, every time Moonglow came back to the pain of forgotten hunger and the burn of ignored thirst; she wondered if one day she just wouldn't wake at all.
The thought of taking control, of throwing her family into the nothingness of death made the young female prickle with something like longing. Why should she carry their memory? Why would it matter if no one knew that Winterwind hated snow or that Moonshadow loved the smell of sun-warmed daises? No one but her would ever know that Lightstrike loved playing chase on warm evenings with his pups and mate or that Nightsong would always let them howl with her until they collapsed into giddy giggles. Maybe it would be best if they were just forgotten, if the joy and sweetness and horror was never known. Maybe...
Wind ruffled her fur, cold and crisp, gently bringing Moonglow back to now. Thoughts and vague plans sank to glimmer jewel bright beneath the surface. Meanwhile, Moonglow gave Saul a polite sideways glance and flicked her ear thoughtfully. The only sign of her less than healthy thoughts was in the glitter of her golden eyes, which could be easily mistaken for interested consideration of his very generous offer to hunt for her.
"Thank you very much for the offer." Moonglow tilted her ears and flicked her tail in a single wag, portraying 'pleased and happy' with her body language. "I accept, Theta." Moonglow added with another subtle shift to show thanks in body as well as in words.