The Utina male had not been the same when he had come back with his sister from AniWaya, and it was only partially due to the brain trauma he had endured. He felt like more of a failure than ever. When he had seen that beast accosting Sunki...it was as if something had broken inside of him. It was his job to keep her safe, to keep Lili and their children safe, and ever since Maska had come he had been failing to do those things time and time again. More than ever he felt as if it would have been better if he had left AniWaya on his own and let his family stay. Maybe they wouldn't have been completely safe, but he doubted that what had happened to Sunki would have occurred. Then there was the whole issue of Crimson Dreams and what they were going through to keep his family safe. Nayati was ashamed of his constant failures, of all the ill he had caused.
When Liliana had left the windmill he had taken only the slightest notice. It was a dreary day and the pups seemed to sense the tension and gloom that surrounded their parents and aunt. They were quite as quiet as their father, looking out the dirty panes of glass at the rain along with Sunki. Nayati could not say how much time had passed between his mate's departure and when an aggrieved call of help shot through the air, but when he heard that howl his heart stumbled in his chest. His sister rose, and spoke his name with barely contained panic. Nayati's hands began to shake as he rose and watched his sibling gather her supplies and run out the door with one last look of fright upon her face. Kuruk and Saqui looked up to their father, voicing questions that were muffled in the man's ears.
Hoof-beats lead away from the windmill and he knew Sunki had rode off upon Donoma. Finally finding the will to move, Nayati headed out into the rain with his children on his heels. He did not even think to fetch Iye; it was too dangerous to ride with the pups anymore and he could not leave them alone. The Utinas jogged through the rain and Nayati's heart pounded in his skull. Something horrible had happened, his gut told him, and he knew with a sickening feeling that it was right.
When he came upon the scene, he saw an unknown Dreamer, Grace, Donoma, and his sister kneeling on the sodden ground. Even though he could not really see what she knelt beside, the look on her face told him everything he needed to know. Grace was riderless and there was a still body in the tall grass. Nayati felt all the warmth leave his body and a numbness descended over him. He stared with an inscrutable look at the scene until he heard his children behind him wanting to know what was up ahead. The father turned quickly and scooped the two into his arms to keep them from going any further ahead. To keep them from seeing what he knew lay in that grass. As his now motherless children squirmed in his arms and kept questioning what was wrong, the tears poured from his sky blue gaze, mixing with the rain.
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