[M] the fear of being alone

Tawny Wagner · 10-21-2011, 04:06 PM

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Hope this is okay? maturity as in cussing later on? Dated for the 23rd. -650-

The girl had been thinking about leaving for a while now. She was not contributing to the Anatheman pack and there was no reason for her to be there anymore. Her wounds had scarred over mostly and though the nightmares were still present every night, she no longer ran to Matteo. Of course, that might have been because of Alaki’s mean looks whenever they were together. The dark male, her savior from the coyote, was extremely possessive over her Angel, and got aggressive when anyone messed with him. There was no way in hell that the little brown female would get near that bed at night when the males were together, no matter how much the monsters in her head were scaring her.

Leaving was going to be hard, but it would be impossible if she had to face Matteo and tell him goodbye. So on the last night of her visitation to the Anatheman caves, she gathered some of the materials that she’d collected over the short while she’d been there. The oils and candles, threads, nuts and bolts and little fire makers that she took from the place where Fang had hurt her. After lighting a few of the smallest candles, she hunkered down in a pile of skins and started threading the jewelry together. One for Matteo, one for Alaki, and one for Camilla. Long lengths of black chord with the silver washers, bolts, nuts and screws knotted and tied in.

Three hours passed before the necklaces were completed. Putting all of her candles and lighting stuff into her backpack, she sling it over her shoulders and snuck out of her small room. She took nothing from the room, none of it belonged to her, besides the things she had when Alaki had found her. The necklaces were laid out at the foot of Alaki and Matteo’s bed, and then she crept out of their cave system. Once out of the room, she ran.

The distance between Anathema and Ichika no Ho-en was very short and crossed quickly. Once Tawny was within the border of her home pack, she was able to relax and slow down. The middle of the night and winter was clearly moving in, frosty little ice crystals forming on the grass and leaves. The girl kept going until she reached her home, the small hut that hadn’t had any attention in a few weeks. Dropping her bag on the ground, she ducked in and grabbed one of the skins from her bedding and wrapped it around her shoulders. It was a big deer skin with rabbit and raccoon fur sewn into it as lining. Two small straps of leather hung from the sides so it could be tied as a bedroll, but in this case she tied it around her shoulders as a cloak, a way to keep her body heat trapped in close.

She couldn’t sleep. Not when she knew that there was no one there, not in the other room, not within hearing distance. Holding the warm skins tight to her body, she took a smaller bag from a shelf and put a fire maker and a few small candles into it before leaving the hut. She put the bag around her neck and began to run, wasting energy on purpose. If she was tired enough, maybe she’d sleep without dreaming. Tawny kept running, pushing her body harder and harder until she reached the east river, then ran alongside it, racing the rushing water. Not until her legs gave out did she stop, falling to her knees and sitting there on the bank for a few minutes, trying to catch her breath. Reaching into her bag, she took out three candles and stuck them into the damp sand. After lighting them she curled into a tiny ball and covered herself with the skins, hiding from the monsters in her own mind.

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