LOL >_> Awkward wolf-boner is awkward. Apparently Tedros is turned on by his own guilt. You learn new things every day!
He did look like him. It wasn’t just the wolf genes, it was his big hands, the way his body slouched in optime form, and the way the moonlight highlighted his ebony fur. Of course there were differences: eye color, hairstyle, bone structure. But maybe it was why Tedros felt so comfortable opening up to a complete stranger. There was something relaxing about this tense, brooding creature, and Tedros reveled in it.
The other male talked about death’s inevitability. Usually Tedros would have tuned him out after that, but for some reason, he listened to the wolf. He didn’t seem like he was bullshitting him; his tone of voice was gentle, but it wasn’t condescending or pitying. And the coyote was thankful for that. But then the other shared his own story, and immediately a wave of guilt rushed over Tedros.
He tried to hide it, his guttural reaction, and he was generally successful. But his heart rate jumped a little, and his eyes darted towards the ground. In the four years he had been with his lover, never once had he thought about running away and leaving him. But, perpetually, that was what Tedros did. He had left Rikka de le Poer, his first mate, because he was too afraid to tell her he was interested in a boy. And then he left that boy because he wanted a fresh start. And even after he stayed with Cain for so long, he left the pack as soon as Cain died, running away once again from the pain. Tedros was cowardly. Cowardly and selfish. And he felt immense guilt because of it.
There was silence, and he wasn’t sure what to say. Tedros felt like a fraud trying to bash another canine for the same crimes he had committed. Luckily, the other introduced himself as Alaki, and gave him a moment to reorganize his thoughts and regroup his emotions. Think. What did he say that you could respond to? … Wait, he used male pronouns.
“Well,” he said, hesitating, “If he did that, you deserve better,” better than me, Tedros thought. There was a spark of some sort, something he could tangibly feel under his skin. His blood-red eyes returned to the cold blue eyes of Alaki, and he smiled a grin that felt strange to him. It was flirtatious. And then again, that pang of guilt, remembering all of the nights spent interlocked with his lover, and then it passed again, and in that moment he wanted nothing more than to take sanctuary inside of Alaki. He wanted to feel something, to feel his touch, he wanted to reach out and grab him and feel the dark fur under his nails.
Tedros took a breath and tried to calm himself. Heat rushed to his groins, and he maneuvered his arms to hide the growing bulge beneath his fur. If there were a time when a coyote would blush, this would be it. He wasn’t sure if it was that obvious, but he tried to cover it up anyway.
“It’s getting pretty cold out here, isn’t it?”
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