08-11-2008, 03:52 PM
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OOC: Birthing thread? WHERE?! xD
"I saw his patch of garden. I could recognize only so many medicine herbs he had there, but I could always ask him about the rest...I mean, it's not like the subject doesn't interest me. It's just that sometimes I feel like my presence can be suffocating to those around me, and I don't want him to feel that I'm around him too much. From what I'd gather, he'd be too polite to even tell me I'm getting on his nerves. I owe Pilot a lot... He brought me to Shadowed Sun when I needed a pack the most. He helped me with my den, with working things out, with accommodation. And the truth is I hardly know how to repay him," Urma said, almost in one breath. She knew she had to get this feeling of being completely undeserving off her chest, but something stopped her. She knew she could try to do something. If only her ideas didn't seem so crazy in her own head.
Urma's eyes glinted as she heard the news, a bit bewildered how come someone like Naniko hadn't had pups earlier. "I've been around people before or after their birth, but I've never considered myself how it must be. Some part of me is still shy of it. I would love pups of my own, but neither has the time come, nor the mate." She said the last sentence sadly, her thoughts trailing off towards Mörker, towards all those things they could have had together. She resented him a small bit for just having left her like that, even if she knew full well his departure had hardly been a consensus between himself and death. She always went back to that time, always thought she should have woken up when she had felt him stand up and leave, even if she knew he was only going out to hunt, bring her food, like an early breakfast, unexpected but highly desired. Had she known what would follow, would she have stopped him? Back then, of course. But now, as distance and her stubborn methods of driving him away from her came between her and his memory, she wondered if she would have stopped him. She would have changed the bit with him dying, if she could, but the departure in itself would have probably gone unchallenged.
And why was that? How could she have thrown him out? Well, maybe she hadn't. Naniko's words washed over her pleasantly, familiar. "You do like him, don't you?" Well, you could put it that way. Urma didn't know what it was. She was certain it resembled a feeling she had felt before, but it was not even close. Pilot and Mörker... They were different. What she felt, what she had felt for Mörker and what she had to admit she felt for Pilot, or had started feeling, were as much different as they were alike. "Yes... You could say that," she said wistfully. "You could also say... It's a bit more." She turned to look at Naniko, eagerness etched in her features. "He feels safe, for some reason. Like he'd always be there for me." Urma went quiet, sadness replacing the eagerness. "But, after his loss, I don't think he'd ever be able to feel like that again about anyone. And I, least of all, bear any resemblance to Dierdre." She wanted to keep the disappointment out of her voice, but only half-managed to.
"I saw his patch of garden. I could recognize only so many medicine herbs he had there, but I could always ask him about the rest...I mean, it's not like the subject doesn't interest me. It's just that sometimes I feel like my presence can be suffocating to those around me, and I don't want him to feel that I'm around him too much. From what I'd gather, he'd be too polite to even tell me I'm getting on his nerves. I owe Pilot a lot... He brought me to Shadowed Sun when I needed a pack the most. He helped me with my den, with working things out, with accommodation. And the truth is I hardly know how to repay him," Urma said, almost in one breath. She knew she had to get this feeling of being completely undeserving off her chest, but something stopped her. She knew she could try to do something. If only her ideas didn't seem so crazy in her own head.
Urma's eyes glinted as she heard the news, a bit bewildered how come someone like Naniko hadn't had pups earlier. "I've been around people before or after their birth, but I've never considered myself how it must be. Some part of me is still shy of it. I would love pups of my own, but neither has the time come, nor the mate." She said the last sentence sadly, her thoughts trailing off towards Mörker, towards all those things they could have had together. She resented him a small bit for just having left her like that, even if she knew full well his departure had hardly been a consensus between himself and death. She always went back to that time, always thought she should have woken up when she had felt him stand up and leave, even if she knew he was only going out to hunt, bring her food, like an early breakfast, unexpected but highly desired. Had she known what would follow, would she have stopped him? Back then, of course. But now, as distance and her stubborn methods of driving him away from her came between her and his memory, she wondered if she would have stopped him. She would have changed the bit with him dying, if she could, but the departure in itself would have probably gone unchallenged.
And why was that? How could she have thrown him out? Well, maybe she hadn't. Naniko's words washed over her pleasantly, familiar. "You do like him, don't you?" Well, you could put it that way. Urma didn't know what it was. She was certain it resembled a feeling she had felt before, but it was not even close. Pilot and Mörker... They were different. What she felt, what she had felt for Mörker and what she had to admit she felt for Pilot, or had started feeling, were as much different as they were alike. "Yes... You could say that," she said wistfully. "You could also say... It's a bit more." She turned to look at Naniko, eagerness etched in her features. "He feels safe, for some reason. Like he'd always be there for me." Urma went quiet, sadness replacing the eagerness. "But, after his loss, I don't think he'd ever be able to feel like that again about anyone. And I, least of all, bear any resemblance to Dierdre." She wanted to keep the disappointment out of her voice, but only half-managed to.
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