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welcome to my funeral
without you i dont even have a pulse
all alone it's dark and cold
with every move i die
Omni smoothed back her dark hair, pulling it back from her face with her hands. It lay in a tangled mess, after the miscarriage her appearance didn't matter at all. Blue eyes had lost ther light, carrying a sadness that simply couldn't be hidden however much Omni wanted to cry. The struggle was extremely difficult, as if the pressure and tension would simply have the russet virago blowing up in a messy fit of tears and the loss of the ability to see reality the way it should have been. However much Jacinto comforted the petite coywolf, it just couldn't be helped. There was so much irony with that situation, Omni craved his touch and comforting body...Unfortunately for some reason it didn't quell the sorrow of the loss. It had to be her fault, her punishment for past deeds. As she stared into that cracked mirror to that broken face of her own, there was anger there for what whatever the gods above had done. They didn't deserve this! Santiago, Calixta, and Xerin! The poor things...It should have been Omni to pass into the afterworld! Not them! Quickly, the small woman grabbed a cloak and opened the door to exit the room. "I'll just be...Out." Her explanation was sincere, innocent. Without some fresh air, Omni was sure she would begin hyperventilating soon. She left Sinatrai with Jacinto, she knew he was better fit to be a parent than her. She wrapped the fur garment over her body, skipping quickly out the door to the Mansion. Where to now? She had refused to wash her pelt of the scent of the dead puppies, they were underground now...How was she ever supposed to remember them? And honor their brief existence?
Thin legs propelled her instinctually to the direction of the hotsprings. Warmth. The scent of her pups was just causing nothing but grief, nothing more and nothing less. It was time for a change. The air was brisk, unfortunately just as grievous (it was supposed to be spring!) Cold blue eyes watched sadly at the passing scenery, shaking her head of dark hair to clear the faces of the stillborns from her mind. They were so beautiful...And they didn't even get the chance to have their first breath. It was all too much to bear.
Soon Omni found the pools, as inviting as they ever were. The slim woman threw off the cloak and slipped in. She shuddered as the heated liquid seeped into her pelt. Then the tears came. Frantically, Omni dove into the water, ignoring the unpleasant sensation of water filling up in tall ears. As she resurfaced, the coyote shook her head and cleared her audits of the hot water. The tears slipped past her face, hopefully the water would confuse one to think she wasn't being weak and crying her eyes out again.
this is my confession oh
a lost cause nobody can save my soul
i am so delusional
with every move i die
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