got what she payed for

Selene Vansenza · 04-01-2012, 01:13 PM

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There really was no sense of home that lingered like a small flame in the bottom of her heart. Unfortunately there didn't seem to be many options on how to rid herself of that assumption. Much to the young woman's surprise, the tears of anguish and the sense of betrayal had slowed, if not almost stopped. Had she dried herself of the salty droplets of pain? Or was the skinny hybrid simply accepting the fact that she wasn't needed anymore? Either way, maybe there was peace. A settlement of her emotions, so what if Hadley chose someone else? Perhaps that was it. Understanding.

Sel had failed to keep healthy though, her body had thinned out even more, relying on a baggy pair of black cargo pants and a form fitting army-style jacket to keep her warm. Her residency became almost nomadic, sleeping in various houses and apartments, leaving in the dawn of a new day. Her horse, Ukaglay had been taken from Casa the last day of living there. A reliable compadre in the rest of her time alone. The sky was quickly darkening, despite the feeling of a foredooming spring. Her pace upon the mossy ground became hurried, intent on finding a comfortable place to rest for the night. There was a series of words that repeated within her mind, could easily be called self-therapy. Hadley didn't exist. Ismeme never existed. Her life hadn't been spent with Hadley. That all never happened. It did! And this was why she was alone. So much for her attempt at distracting herself. The marks that marred her arms and legs, and higher abdomen were the blunt of her distraction. They had done this to her. They should have been the ones to bleed, to simply sit and watch the liquid of life bubble from their veins, feel her horror and defined anguish. How the fuck had she let this happen? Have a simpleton slip in and whisk her lover away, advertently ruin whatever shambles of her life in shambles. The dagger at her belt was her only weapon, her only protection. The sword had been misplaced in Casa, her former home. Large coyote ears swiveled sharply as the sound of a bird warbled above her head, wishing the world a goodnight before the cloaking of dusk covered it all. Why was she do cold? Why was every hair on her body on end? What power bestowed such unfortunate fates upon her soul? That was why the bible had been dismissed. That was why the cross no longer hung around her heart, but rather in the pocket of her pants. No deity of any form could fix, or even attempt to patch this up. Who had cursed her family? Killed the most prominent couple in Milano? Slay her only family? And now shattered the only value she thought she held.

The sky was slowly turning a rich navy, stars beginning to peel from the cloud cover. Buildings were rather isolated from where the small hybrid now stood, not a one in sight. Wonderful. More walking...The hand that led her horse by the reins twitched impulsively, removing from the hardened leather to stroke the long creamy snout of her Clydesdale. The ground was all that proved habitable, beggars certainly couldn't be choosers. Sighing, the woman threw her duffel bag to the ground from her willowy shoulder, letting Uka amble off. The dappled brown and ivory horse never went too far astray, perhaps he just realized the loneliness of her mistress in these times. Or simply the horse chose not to wander. Each thought was easily dismissed. There just wasn't time for those misplaced ideas.

The young Vansenza sat herself down on the ground, watching distractedly as Ukaglay stomped off to graze the last of the new grasses for the night. Her bag was opened, fingers wildly pawing through for her knife and lighter. There was enough sticks and chunks of wood enough if she looked, all Selene needed was to set the dry grass before her knees ablaze. With a small cry of triumph, the loner found the object and flicked it to test its usefulness. A spark ignited into a small flame, and she dipped it down to watch the grass crackle with the heat by her feet. As a small flame erupted, the coydog jumped to her feet and quickly scooped small twigs and sticks that were so luckily littered around her makeshift camp. The fire could be fed better later anyway, this was all it greatly needed. Slowly, settling back down to sit cross-legged, Selene threw in the wood slowly, watching the flame envelope the wood hungrily. It had grown to a satisfying size, flickering just a few feet from her legs. Sighing, placing her hands behind her to rest upon her palms, the girl gazed into the night sky, evermore hating how she had stared into that same sky with a certain someone.

823
<3 around 7:00 pm, dated to the 4th of April...Sorry for the unnecessary length...

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