battling inner demons

Saul Stormbringer · 04-21-2012, 08:59 AM

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If I had words to make a day for you,

I'd give you a morning, golden and true.

I would make this day last for all time,

Give you a night deep in moonshine.

[611]
silly nier butt!

The tension and concern coming from his cousin was something Saul never expected to feel, but it was certainly there and very potent. When he'd kissed Lilin that night, his thoughts certainly hadn't been on the effect it would have on the rest of the group- he hadn't thought much past the feel of her soft lips on his. Then again, he hadn't foreseen that she would avoid him and especially for so long. With a sigh, he tried to force thoughts of Lilin from his mind. There was no point in pining and worrying about it- she would emerge when she was ready and if that meant he didn't see her for a week or more, he had the patience to wait until she was ready to come and talk to him about whatever the hell was going on between the two of them. Cousins didn't kiss cousins like that. On the other hand, he now refused to refer to her as his cousin, even in his own thoughts. It felt wrong, especially after that kiss, the way his body reacted to her, the thoughts that raced through his mind whenever he thought of her. A shudder rushed through him as he tried, unsuccessfully, to push out those fantasies- Niernan managed to bring him back from the brink of oblivion with a carefully placed joke, although Saul could tell that it seemed strained.

He did, however, appreciate his cousins concern and the attempts to joke and take his mind off of other things, because Saul was driving himself mad. An appreciative smile washed over his lips as a half-amused snort jerked his body softly. Everyone was well aware of Bran's sleeping habits, and the fights the brothers often had in their sleep- it usually sounded like Niernan trying to roll his brother over to relieve some of the pressure on the chest and therefore stop him snoring. They could tell however that it rarely worked, and usually ended with Bran rolling back over and somehow hitting his brother for interrupting his sleep. Niernan's concerns over his cat were mirrored by Saul- who hadn't seen Eirias in a few day. No problem- keep an eye out for Eir as well. I dont think the move has done either of them very good, but hopefully they'll settle down soon.

He attempted to inject some nonchalance into his voice, but the unexpected contact of Niernan's paw to his shoulder caused him to freeze for a moment. He almost missed the worried whine that slipped out, but he allowed a smile to break his worried mask as he looked across at Niernan, grateful to the mans care. They didn't need to say anything to each other, but Niernan cleared his throat, looking away before he spoke again, a plea to get going. He didn't know what they were doing yet, and Saul was grateful that his cousin trusted him enough to follow without question. With a nod, Saul stepped deliberately towards the woods, thinking Niernan was likely to follow him. I was thinking we could make a tree house. The boys would love somewhere to play, and it could come in useful if we ever get flooded and the huts are destroyed." He said, his mind always thinking of back up plans in case something went wrong. We're going to have to find as much flat wood as possible, maybe from the ruins over there He gestured to the humans dwellings that weren't too far away. If we run out, we'll have to cut down a tree and use that. He said, his mind strategising easily on how they were supposed to work this.

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