No promises to keep

Ahiga Nishant · 07-19-2012, 06:19 PM

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Word Count :: 600 Mini-breakdown time

Inside everything went cold, a pain worming around his stomach as the strong desire to kill himself there and then struck the lad; the subject of discussion should of become apparent to him sooner then it had, perhaps then he wouldn't of felt as humiliated and embarrassed as he did. Strelein knew, he didn't know how exactly his ex-uncle had figured out he'd slept with Sebastian or even for sure if his uncle knew exactly or was just talking in general. “Why. Why do you care what's in it for anyone or who the hell sleeps with anyone.” and there went any possibility of feigning ignorance after the realization had struck him. “So what if he paints the guys he sleeps with. It is not your place to judge who I need or do not need” not that he'd particularly been spending much time with the fox coloured male after loosing his virginity to the other, a few brief encounters here and there only. The more the mention of Sebastian continued the more the lad wished he hadn't followed his whim and thrown the male's name down in the letter; he had intended for it to make it clear to his ex-uncle that he was not alone and that he was fine, not to be bothered. Without a doubt that plan had backfired big time.

Once more his temper began to flare, the red-heads laugh doing little to settle the moon-touched Nishant, a harsh growl burning through his throat along with dry laughter. “And what if my pride is all I have left? What if my 'attitude'” he sneered the word as he repeated what the other had said, “is all that's keeping me breathing. You tell me to give up all I have to live for.” breathing out heavily he was about to expand upon his point, exactly what he was going to say he wasn't all too sure, he just wanted to shout, fling his arms around and stomp his feet. A sharp prod to his stomach had all plans of a full blown tantrum stopped right in their tracks.

“Noss is gone. I'm not your nephew any more so will you stop this entire pretence that you actually give to shits about me?” and old argument he knew, but still one he didn't have clear answers to and a lot safer in content as to what they had been discussing. Did it really matter why someone wanted to look after him? No one had ever bothered to before and the fact that his ex-uncle was proving so stubborn unsettled him greatly, scared him even. “You want to hear how god dammed miserable I am?” he whispered. “I have no one left, everyone betrays me regardless. I have no friends around me, i'm always alone; no one cares. I wake up and don't see the point in leaving my room, don't feel the need to hunt or do anything with myself. Each moment I can only think of what I could of done to make mum stay, of all the things I did to push them away. This is my punishment, it's only right I suffer and eventually i'll die. Then I won't have to deal with any of this any more, no more pain every moment of my life, no more making up excuses or having to pretend everything is fine, or dealing with ex-relatives who want to look after me out of some twisted sense of guilt. Happy now” as he progressed his volume rose, voice growing heavy with emotion and a tight set forming in his jaw.

Photo courtesy of Khevyel

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