Taking Responsibility

Shandom Qi'Vaex · 07-11-2012, 11:11 AM

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i'll follow you into the dark

Word Count → 911 :: i'm going to reply so Shandom is an active participant in the thread, but stick with the natural flow of posts and don't wait for me if i'm taking too long! Also... sorry this is so long. Most of it doesn't matter. Shandom's just having a midlife crisis.

To be quite frank, this whole situation absolutely sucked.

There was a mountain of worries on the Gamma's plate, most of which he'd internalized and chosen to keep private. Perhaps the most important was the arrival of his daughter Zeneca; this was most distressing to the alabaster man, and he absolutely did not know what to do with himself. Shandom loved the girl blindly, more than he thought he would after their years of separation, but he could not help but realize she was something... darker. More sinister, perhaps. Something that caused shivers to run down his spine and hackles to raise and more time spent patrolling the New Dawn borders, a silent ghost against the inky sky when sleep eluded him. He could not place a paw on why he got this feeling from her, and it plagued his already weary mind. For some reason, he felt that New Dawn was not safe with Zeneca around. He wished he understood why. He wished she would talk to him.

Then, of course, there was the more trivial - and perhaps more private - issue of his lady friend, Naniko D'Angelo. After their last (rather catastrophic, in Shandom's opinion) meeting, the Gamma had yet to return to Anathema's borders to try and make things right with the Angela. He hadn't meant to be so forward and demanding, and he understood that it was just a man's cravings getting the better of him that day, but Shandom worried Naniko would no longer be interested in seeing him. Shandom cared for the woman, more than he cared for anyone else besides his newly emerged daughter and estranged sister. She was precious to him, and she frequented his dreams. The Qi'Vaex man found that he missed her beautiful jade eyes when he wasn't around her, and he wondered if she felt the same about him anymore.

Probably not, if he were being honest. She'd hate him more now, anyway.

Shandom, despite his quiet and reclusive nature in the pack, could not escape the whispering of the blonde dog named Amy Sunders attacking his packmates. The Gamma was utterly disgusted by this - Fayne and Kiara were beautiful young women who did not deserve such cruelty. Though he understood the need for learning self defense, he found it reprehensible that the women had felt the need to seek the help of Casa - humanizing themselves to defend against a clearly deranged trader was not Shandom's idea of traditionalism. No, this woman would have to be killed for her transgressions. Unfortunately, this was made worse by the sudden knowledge that Amy Sunders was, or had once been, a member of Anathema.

If there was one thing Shandom knew, though, it was that Naniko was not at fault for this. Nothing would convince the Gamma to place blame on the beautiful Angela, though this was not something he expressed to anyone. A leader, he knew, was not able to control the actions of all their pack. Sometimes there were those who escaped the rule of law, ducking underneath the inherent trust a leader must place in his (or, in this case, her) pack. Shandom did not fault Zalen for seeking answers, and the Gamma too wanted to see Amy's blood spilled upon the ground in rightful punishment. But he would hear the words of Anathema's leadership, and give them fair council; the Angelo and Angela did not hold court over a dictatorship. Rather, as Naniko had once told him, it was a live and let live place, for those who sought refuge and friendship despite their transgressions. Of all creatures, Shandom could understand the desire for that.

He ran quietly with Zalen, speaking little as they followed his now familiar path to Anathema. It took shorter than normal, as the pair traveled quickly and with purpose, but Shandom's heart could not stop thudding against his rib-cage more than normal. The Gamma did not emit any sort of air other than that of direct purpose, but that was only because he was a master of his emotions. Inside, he could not help the tumbling fear and sadness he felt at this mission. Any risk of being at odds with Anathema put his relationship with Naniko in direct danger. He did not know which one he prioritized, and that frightened him.

They reached the borders, and Zalen shifted, with Shandom following quietly in his stead. The Gamma stood several feet behind his Alpha, their differences in height slightly less noticeable this way. But it was clear who was the Alpha, and who the Gamma, in this situation; Shandom had long since abandoned his will to lead, realizing that he was not suited for power. No, this situation fit him much better - he was good to council and to temper, and nothing more. Leadership soured the long-haired man; indeed, the scar that ran across his half-ruined face was a testament to this fact. It should not be long, now, Shandom whispered, knowing that several minutes must have passed as the two shifted. His low voice echoed only to Zalen, as his words were for his Alpha only. But he kept his dark chocolate gaze trained on the horizon, and inwardly hoped it would be Aeron or the Angelo, whose name Shandom could not recall, who came to discuss matters with them. To see Naniko would be too difficult. He did not want to see her in a situation like this.

Shandom is by nat; table code from the Mentors!

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