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In one moment her eyelids were blinking, struggling to stay open wide enough for her to see and shield her vulnerable irises at the same time. In the next, she felt herself being manipulated like a rag doll. The torch wasn't in her mouth anymore but extinguished by Mr. Satan's capable agility. And her body wasn't free-standing anymore but held down with a thousand pounds of bricks and muscle. Sura felt her eyes well up with tears again in a warm hatred of everything and everyone. She found herself shouting, but she hardly knew what she was saying. Her words were based off of the emotions she felt this very second, and nothing deeper, incapable of expressing her innermost desires, thoughts, or any longstanding notion. "But I donts knows bouts You or Saul or who dey is! I don'ts cares who they ares! No one cares abouts Suras! I just wants my mummy back! I just wants goes home! I don'ts cares if I goes backs to swavery no more or gets marrieds at ages six moths to ten years old mans. No one cares bouts Suras ! I hurts uncles house and makes it burns! I don'ts cares!" He said he didn't know what had happened, and that he wouldn't let her get hurt, but she'd told him already. He wasn't listening now, she felt sure of it. She could hardly breathe with her nose pressed against him so she moved it and began sucking in oxygen instead of sweat and fur. "I don'ts cares! I wants to die!", she felt she was screaming, but her voice was barely at a normal level. Her heart pounded the blood through her veins, every drumbeat a moment of her wasted existence gone by. There was a voice, a sort of song, a gentle melody. But Sura didn't care and she wanted to smash that house into bits. She wanted to be a dinosaur so she could trample it underfoot like it was no more than a piece of toiletpaper and not her entire life. It was all broken and messed up and she wanted nothing more than to watch the entire world burn and crumble. But the voice continued, the song lulling her heartrate down one by one. What if she got away from him? The stick was still right there, she could grab it and whack him on the head, light it on fire, and proceed as she was before. Or, she could light it on fire and then ward him away with the flames like a foul beast. The song continued, gentle words sweeping her off the ground. Sura felt as if she were floating above her own body. The stick was there, but it was so far away, she'd have to stretch to reach it. And here was a nice and cozy and warm spot at someone's chest with a lullaby and love and care. "Okay.....", her voice was dreamy and it seemed to span an entire eternity to fully come out of her mouth. She felt agreeable and light, as if she'd say yes to whatever the man asked. Sura, , the Mr.Satan would ask. Would you like to jump off a cliff with me?, he would say, and Sura would nod yes. Yes, she wanted to very much. But I'm going to watch, you jump first.. Yes, yes she still wanted to and away she would go. There wouldn't be any down or up or gravity or even physics as long as this soft feeling would continue in her head. Perhaps she'd died and this was Mr. Satan here to usher her to heaven. She'd been a good girl, so surely she'd go. Even if she had been bad and went to the other place that wasn't heaven, what could be the worst that could happen to her? As long as this feeling continued, nothing in the world would feel bad or hurt ever again. Besides, all dogs went to heaven, and she was half dog, so she would at least go to half a heaven. The light headed feeling dissipated as she sucked in oxygen and instead got a fly. She coughed it up and it flew off elsewhere to bother someone else. Sura looked up at the figure who held her down. "It's okays, Mr. Satan. You can let goes. I'm ready to goes to heavens nows.", she smiled up at him, showing her teeth. But where had that fuzzy feel-good feeling gone? Sura began to wiggle until she found it, with her head pressed against the man's chest. Ah, here it was, the feeling returned slowly but gradually as she suffocated herself in the middle of the man's front, where the muscles met and provided a dip just the right size for her nose to sink into and not breathe anymore oxygen. Coping as best as it could, her brain slowed functions, her blood stream carrying less oxygen than it was before. " |
Sura is purposefully suffocating herself against Ink to get lightheaded.
(I didn't see this one coming)