421
Myrika is by me!
She picked up one of the rags, bunching and unbunching it in her hands, fiddling with its edges, turning it over one hand and then the other. Maybe it wasn't so strange, but Myri found she did not care what happened to Thornloe, as long as what she cared about was not there for its destruction. With half of that sitting before her and the other unlikely to have gotten there before hand, there was no reason for her to care what happened back there. It was the past, and one she'd avoid revisiting. There was a little stab of guilt and some part of her conscience probing at her, perhaps questioning whether she really felt that way or just felt that way because she'd never been a part of that place, but there was too much elsewise to care about. It was just one other small thing and there were too many other things to feel bad about.
Her ears sank fully into the copper locks of her hair, and she was astounded to find some part of her -- perhaps the most shamed -- did not want her father back to see her where she was and what she was. But should he return, their father would seek her where she said she was headed -- Inferni. And find, should he try the borders, he'd find them saturated with her scent, lacking in Ezekiel's. Then he'd know she'd made her choice. Then again, hadn't she done so a year ago? Perhaps the long months of contemplation sufficed only to convince herself otherwise, to rationalize away that choice? East or west, ancestry or family. The change of her position might not even make things worse or better. Yet she knew, too, she was as chained to the clan as Ezekiel had been before her. Should she leave, it might even be Kaena to play the part of Inferni's Lykoi again. Or worse -- better? -- Ithiel, or Helotes, or any of the other cousins and more distant relations Ezekiel had not trusted to take his place. It was only her.
She was very quiet and still for a long moment, ceasing even the endless motion of the dry tag. Myri ruminated over her shame, convincing herself they were unwitting wrongs or otherwise explaining them away. Can I help you? she asked, quietly and in the same tone she had implored Ezekiel to choose someone else. She had asked, but she hadn't said no, either. Please?
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