The Lost Queen

Titania Moonsong · 09-12-2012, 11:56 AM

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The woman was some kind of blessing, a gentle soul that knew her (or at least a part of her) and could ease her through this turbulent moment, who could remain calm even as the young wolfess panicked. When she called her Titania again she wanted to deny the name once more, but the idea was preposterous; she had seen her reflection in the pond, how could there be another wolf out there who looked like her? To press the issue would be an insult to X’yrin’s intelligence, and right now, insulting this woman was the last thing she wanted to do. Not only because this was her home turf, but because in some little way what she was saying was beginning to help. Her words aided in calming the anxiety that was percolating like magma beneath the surface, and when the paw rested gently, comfortingly on her own hand, Titania relaxed visibly.

X’yrin was right, she would make herself ill. Titania knew she was right because she had done it before, thinking on the anomaly that was herself until the ground began to spin beneath her feet. Often when she let her bewilderment twirl out of control she had to stop whatever she was doing and just sit down lest she get dizzy and stumble and fall. She could not function like that, could not live like that.

Her gaze fell upon the pup who was nestled in the safety of his… mother’s?... legs, and that was when she finally noticed the blind stare. How lost must this child feel, in a world so based on sight yet he could not see? He was braver than she was right now, even sitting there shuddering slightly between X’yrin’s paws he took on the world despite his handicap. Oh yes, he was braver than she.

Her eyes slowly moved from the pup to meet X’yrin’s countenance, and she knew in that moment that she believed everything the Issor said. Everything; from the vague corroboration of Shawchert’s story – she had once been an Alpha - to the educated guess at her age.

“So we were… are friends,” she corrected herself. “Then I should confide in you that I no longer think I could be an Alpha, like I was. I… I don’t feel it. I didn’t believe it at first because I thought there would be a calling within me or something, so I thought it was just a trick. I think that part of me died out with my memories.” Titania was so unsure of everything, but she knew she could not go back to that pack and resume her role as a leader. Perhaps if one day her memories came back to her so would the desire to lead, but for now she was just a lost little girl in a big old world that was poised to swallow her whole.

“The only call I feel is the call for fellowship, but I suppose that is not possible if I have abandoned my people. The worst part is the loneliness. I don’t have a pack now, and I don’t even have a memory to hold on to, no one to dream of during the bitter nights.”

Breeding age… the words ignited a spark within Titania, and for just a moment she looked surprised, as if the thought of puppies had brought her to the fragile edge of a memory, but almost as quickly as it had come, it was gone. “What is the pup’s name?” She asked, somewhat veering off subject as her eyes turned back to the blind child. “He faces a dark world, doesn’t he?”

Image courtesy of mourner@Flickr; table by the Mentors!

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