Even before the sickness, Laruku's perception of time had become poor and his short-term memory scattered, so it was no surprise that the month or so he had spent at Esper Hollow could not be recalled in a crystal clear image. The divide between the hybrid's subconsciousness and his consciousness was wholly intentional, but he held a lot of things as truth without realizing it. He cared; he had always cared, and he would likely continue to care too much until the day he died, but that didn't mean he often acknowledge it to himself. That he loved his children was one of those things he didn't often think about because if he pondered the subject too long or too hard, the fact that he had not really been the who to conceive them came back to him. Rachias was his daughter, but he was not her father. It was a troublesome arrangement.
You don't need to worry about me,
he said passively, There are enough abandoned kills sitting around that it doesn't matter, and I'll get used to this eventually.
Could a blind man hunt? Theoretically. If he tried hard enough, perhaps. If he took the time to memorize the area, to know where every tree and fallen log was, perhaps. If he trained his other senses and adapted to his condition, perhaps. If he cared enough about himself to bother, perhaps. But in the end, it was easier to scavange. There was no pride left to hurt, anyway. Rachias would come regardless, he knew, but maybe eventually she would tire of his never-changing antics and give up on him. There were more useful things she could be doing with her time.
Laruku was not surprised that Andrezej had been killed. Indeed, he had considered killing the boy himself that day because he had seen and known that he would have only been destined for horrible things. He didn't know how close Andre had been to either of his siblings, if at all, but Rachias at least sounded like his death upset her. I don't know why he turned out the way he did. You and Arkham are both sweet kids,
he said quietly. Of course, he'd properly met both of his sons but once, but the impressions he'd gotten stayed with him. He didn't remember when he'd been told that Arkham had been left behind in the fire, but he was glad that somehow, his other son was still all right. He spared a slight smile. That's good. At least you've got some family left then.
And of course, he was thinking that maybe she'd be able to get on without him now.