free to waste away alone

[Urma]

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OOC: ::Word Count:: 500+       The pearl femme registered the ebony male's response to her words and something deep within her cracked. She hadn't realized how her words would sound to Dierdre's adopted son. Indeed, to Jazper, Pilot's ex-mate would be a timeless image, an immortal wolf who had cared for him and looked after him with all her love. Sure enough, the ivory Crimson Dreamer would, at the most, seem an intruder. Maybe he would even blame her, in his mind, for Pilot and Dierdre's relationship's shortcomings. Still, she did not feel like she owed the male an explanation. She did not feel bad about loving Pilot; more so, she considered the feeling to be one of the best things that had ever happened to her, despite the situation it currently put her in. Dierdre might have been a good mother, a caring keeper for her pups-- but she had not been a good lover. Urma knew this from Naniko herself. Naniko had told her that Dierdre had not been completely faithful to her mate-- or that was what she had understood from her friend's words. Suddenly, Jazper's reaction seemed unfounded, unfair even. Maybe Dierdre deserved to be respected in a lot of aspects-- but no one could blame Pilot from wanting to forget her. And, this being a rare occasion in Urma's case, she felt that she was as good as Dierdre ever had been, maybe better. It was cruel enough that Pilot had been taken away from her and never from his ex-mate, who had probably not even cared about his feelings in the end. Jazper's reaction brought a sense of injustice to the blanched female; but she did not take it further than that. She realized that mentioning anything of the sort would gain her nothing in the obsidian male's eyes, so she let it pass with an inaudible sigh and a deep, looming silence.       The alabaster she-wolf wondered whether the dark Crimson Dreamer's words were truly from the heart, or just said from a sympathetic urge to offer her what she wanted to hear. If indeed his sympathies lay with his adoptive mother, she could not rightfully blame him-- to him, she was nothing more than his adoptive father's potential love interest. Nothing bonded them or brought them together in the slightest. However, the crisp white femme decided to respond as neutrally as possible, without reading too much into the roots of the male's words. "I don't know if I could call it 'losing'. That would imply that I would at least know something of what has become of him. I would call it more likely a 'misplacing'. He is nowhere that I know of, though I have spent many months trying to find him. I'm sorry to hear you know how it is to misplace, or, as it were, to lose someone. It is not a feeling I would wish on anyone." Her words came straight from the heart. Although she did not know what unhappiness had sought out the ebony wolf, she truly did not find any sense of accomplishment in his former tragedies. It was a horrible thing, losing a loved one. She had seen that for herself on two occasions and if, after the loss of her half-brother and then-mate she had found Pilot to help her through, now she knew that same chance would not be on her side once more. Her patience was wearing thin, slowly replaced by a tormenting anguish, a deep depression. She had never been one to cope with loneliness.

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