Part of the silver-furred hybrid desired to deny it all, shove away any accusation of weakness and pretend everything was running fine and dandy for her. Life was great, nothing was wrong, and she was still young and strong. Such things were little more than a nice little fantasy playing out in the back of Kaena's head, still wishing she was powerful enough to resist the poisonous influence of Haku Soul. He didn't need to stick his fingers into her back and control her like a puppet to exert a tremendous amount of sway over her; by stealing her confidence in herself and sapping her strength he might as well have clinched a leash around her neck.
Even now the ashen coyote wondered how much of herself was still whole and undamaged; she wondered if those woundss buried beneath the surface, too deep to leave a scar and yet more deadly and painful than any physical injury she'd ever received, would ever heal. There was only so long the dusky-furred woman might have resisted her Aquila's questioning, but something in Kaena refused to admit that weakness, that disgusting moment of utter and complete idiocy, flagrant disobedience of the instincts which had kept her relatively safe (more importantly, alive) over the years, which had cost her dignity. "I've been stupid, and I'm paying for it," she muttered cryptically, shaking her head.
Halo knew, didn't she? At least the silver-furred Centurion could be certain that Halo had not revealed that terrible secret to anyone else. There was comfort in that; her granddaughter could be trusted. "Nothing's changed, nothing's happened," she said, giving her best effort to keep her voice flat and monotonous. Some nagging part of her wanted to reveal the whole sordid thing to Gabriel, but she silenced that bit of herself. Exposing weakness was not an option, laying bare her faults and revealing to the rest of Inferni what a weak, stupid thing she was would do her no goddamn good in the long run.
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