12-30-2009, 07:20 AM
[html]forward dated to jan 3~ 453 words 
No matter how hard she tried, not everything in Tokyo's life could be beautiful and pristine. She reassured herself by trying desperately to keep in mind the fact that at least when this was all over, she would be skinny and gorgeous again. But even that wasn't enough to keep her happy when the fifth pup came out and, no matter how much Tokyo tried to lick it into life, it was stillborn. That made three. Three pristine little corpses nudged against the wall. She'd have to dispose of them somehow later - the thought made her stomach churn. When did she start to care so much? Why did she care so much? An overwhelming sense of deja vu swallowed her. She wasn't in Dahlia de Mai; she was miles away, in the little hole in a ground where she had given birth to the unwanted puppies that drove her Champion out of her life. Three corpses. Then, it had been her fault. This time.. it was what? Fate? Some terrible cosmic joke?
The three bodies nudged as far out of sight as possible, Tokyo collapsed beside the other two. Tomorrow it'd be four corpses. Only the boy looked healthy; he was much larger than the others, and already fiercely suckling. The girl was having trouble breathing. She recognized the sound from the worst of her own breathing problems. Sick lungs, apparently genetic. She wouldn't make it til morning. One son, then. No new daughter to dress up and teach to be pretty. Why did this hurt so badly? The presence of the pain was just so baffling and confusing. Maybe the words she had thrown at Princess in anger were rooted in some sort of truth. Had she wanted these children? It was hard to tell; her wish to have them out of her body could have easily masked any desire to raise them. Puppies were so gross. But.. these were Haku's. He was strong, and fierce, and worthy. The very fact that he had been clever enough to coerce Tokyo into the act that conceived them was telling.
She didn't understand her emotions, so she decided to just ignore them, carefully tucking them in some out of the way corner of the mind. What mattered was that for some reason, she cared for this little brat, and his rapidly dying sister. He would grow to be strong, like his father. Tokyo's mind filled with images from the last pack meeting - but instead of Haku at the forefront, this little brown and gray boy. Grown huge, a commanding presence.. Her heart swelled with pride at the thought, and she licked him with the closest thing to a genuine affection that she had ever possessed.
No matter how hard she tried, not everything in Tokyo's life could be beautiful and pristine. She reassured herself by trying desperately to keep in mind the fact that at least when this was all over, she would be skinny and gorgeous again. But even that wasn't enough to keep her happy when the fifth pup came out and, no matter how much Tokyo tried to lick it into life, it was stillborn. That made three. Three pristine little corpses nudged against the wall. She'd have to dispose of them somehow later - the thought made her stomach churn. When did she start to care so much? Why did she care so much? An overwhelming sense of deja vu swallowed her. She wasn't in Dahlia de Mai; she was miles away, in the little hole in a ground where she had given birth to the unwanted puppies that drove her Champion out of her life. Three corpses. Then, it had been her fault. This time.. it was what? Fate? Some terrible cosmic joke?
The three bodies nudged as far out of sight as possible, Tokyo collapsed beside the other two. Tomorrow it'd be four corpses. Only the boy looked healthy; he was much larger than the others, and already fiercely suckling. The girl was having trouble breathing. She recognized the sound from the worst of her own breathing problems. Sick lungs, apparently genetic. She wouldn't make it til morning. One son, then. No new daughter to dress up and teach to be pretty. Why did this hurt so badly? The presence of the pain was just so baffling and confusing. Maybe the words she had thrown at Princess in anger were rooted in some sort of truth. Had she wanted these children? It was hard to tell; her wish to have them out of her body could have easily masked any desire to raise them. Puppies were so gross. But.. these were Haku's. He was strong, and fierce, and worthy. The very fact that he had been clever enough to coerce Tokyo into the act that conceived them was telling.
She didn't understand her emotions, so she decided to just ignore them, carefully tucking them in some out of the way corner of the mind. What mattered was that for some reason, she cared for this little brat, and his rapidly dying sister. He would grow to be strong, like his father. Tokyo's mind filled with images from the last pack meeting - but instead of Haku at the forefront, this little brown and gray boy. Grown huge, a commanding presence.. Her heart swelled with pride at the thought, and she licked him with the closest thing to a genuine affection that she had ever possessed.