01-22-2010, 01:30 AM
Firefly had almost forgotten her own lineage, she had taken so much time to forget her mother and father after they had both disappeared that at times she forgot the mark they had both left on the world. She was aware of Gabriel’s intense gaze as she rearranged herself, her heckles rising slightly as she was watched under his golden orbs. Anselm had told her that she would be safe coming if Gabriel Kaena or himself were there, but she wondered now if his words had been hollow promises that he couldn’t keep.
It took her a second to jerk her gaze away from the man as she remembered that he didn’t have to even see her, she had been on the wrong side of the man last time they’d seen each other and if his daughter hadn’t been taken hostage by Haku there was a chance she wouldn’t be alive today. She let her ears flatten back against her head as she pushed the thoughts away and let her gaze finally fall back upon the leader of the clan. His own battle scars shown dully on his flesh as she took in the whole picture. She had no clue of his story and she had a feeling she’d never learn it. She wished that for a moment her life wasn’t feeling out of her control as Gabriel spoke finally.
When he informed her that Anselm had indeed spoken to him she relaxed slightly, but her eyes shifting away from his own when he asked what had happened. She couldn’t stop the bitterness that shown in her gaze as she dug her nails into the soil below her as she spat the truth out. ”I was returning here to tell Anselm what I’d learned and instead of coming like I did today I cut across the shore.” she lifted her gaze to meet Gabriel’s again, wondering if there was really any reason to tell him this, but she continued nonetheless. ”I was caught by one of the wolves from Dahlia de Mai and I lost my temper and spoke ill of Haku. Another of her pack mates attacked me.” She lowered her gaze to keep the bitter tears from showing as she finished. ”I told them I was with pups but they didn’t care. One of my own pack mates saved me, but.. I lost the pups that evening.” Her voice quivered as she shut her eyes and tried to erase the faces of her children who she would never know. She knew she shouldn’t have told him, none of this would make any difference and it just made her feel weaker, battling both her emotional and physical stress now.
She gave herself a moment to gain control over herself as she slowed her breathing and the quivering about her chest ceased. She opened her emerald orbs and gazed at the man. She knew it wasn’t his fault that she’d lost her temper but she didn’t want to remember it so easily either. ”This is the second litter I’ve lost to Dahlia de Mai. My sons don’t even know me because when I left the pack Haku decided that if I ever returned I would face death. I am nothing to them because of their own father, and I don’t know which is worse, knowing my children live but don’t know me, or never knowing them at all.” She shifted her weight off her forepaw and sighed.
”Is there anything else you wish to know?” she asked. She had information to grant him if he wanted to hear it and she’d rather move onto that than speak of her own foolish mistakes. There were a lot of things she wasn’t proud of and she didn’t want all of them brought forward today before this man. She had been judged enough by herself, she didn’t need her peers to do the same.
It took her a second to jerk her gaze away from the man as she remembered that he didn’t have to even see her, she had been on the wrong side of the man last time they’d seen each other and if his daughter hadn’t been taken hostage by Haku there was a chance she wouldn’t be alive today. She let her ears flatten back against her head as she pushed the thoughts away and let her gaze finally fall back upon the leader of the clan. His own battle scars shown dully on his flesh as she took in the whole picture. She had no clue of his story and she had a feeling she’d never learn it. She wished that for a moment her life wasn’t feeling out of her control as Gabriel spoke finally.
When he informed her that Anselm had indeed spoken to him she relaxed slightly, but her eyes shifting away from his own when he asked what had happened. She couldn’t stop the bitterness that shown in her gaze as she dug her nails into the soil below her as she spat the truth out. ”I was returning here to tell Anselm what I’d learned and instead of coming like I did today I cut across the shore.” she lifted her gaze to meet Gabriel’s again, wondering if there was really any reason to tell him this, but she continued nonetheless. ”I was caught by one of the wolves from Dahlia de Mai and I lost my temper and spoke ill of Haku. Another of her pack mates attacked me.” She lowered her gaze to keep the bitter tears from showing as she finished. ”I told them I was with pups but they didn’t care. One of my own pack mates saved me, but.. I lost the pups that evening.” Her voice quivered as she shut her eyes and tried to erase the faces of her children who she would never know. She knew she shouldn’t have told him, none of this would make any difference and it just made her feel weaker, battling both her emotional and physical stress now.
She gave herself a moment to gain control over herself as she slowed her breathing and the quivering about her chest ceased. She opened her emerald orbs and gazed at the man. She knew it wasn’t his fault that she’d lost her temper but she didn’t want to remember it so easily either. ”This is the second litter I’ve lost to Dahlia de Mai. My sons don’t even know me because when I left the pack Haku decided that if I ever returned I would face death. I am nothing to them because of their own father, and I don’t know which is worse, knowing my children live but don’t know me, or never knowing them at all.” She shifted her weight off her forepaw and sighed.
”Is there anything else you wish to know?” she asked. She had information to grant him if he wanted to hear it and she’d rather move onto that than speak of her own foolish mistakes. There were a lot of things she wasn’t proud of and she didn’t want all of them brought forward today before this man. She had been judged enough by herself, she didn’t need her peers to do the same.