500+ words. Private for Savibutt! -nomnomnomtitle- Pink Floyd. <3 WotD: Duplicity (Deliberate deceptiveness in behavior or speech).
Princess had been keeping to herself, thinking everything over as best as she possibly could, trying to make a decision that would not upset anyone. She did not want to make any decision that she, or anyone else for that matter, might later come to regret. Coming to Crimson Dreams was not something that she could ever regret, but she had not been thinking very clearly when she had made her decision. She had been angry and hurt, having fought so much with her mother, that she had left immediately. She had wondered in the past whether or not she would have been happy in Dahlia if she had not chosen to leave, but there were so many things that would be different and would have changed. She really did not know, and maybe she did not really want to know. She could never really tell when it came to herself. As was being evidenced by her current internal battle, Princess was apparently very flighty, not knowing what she wanted at all.
There was no way for her to know if this was the right decision, and that was enough to drive her mad. If there was a clear cut way for her to know what she should do, things would have always been so much easier for her. Maybe she would not have ever come to this area, something that did not seem very good to her, but maybe life would have brought her here anyway, for this and for her Knight. There was also the tiny voice in the back of her head telling her that Haven might not love her in the way she loved him, but she constantly fought it away. There was no duplicity in the way he spoke and acted when he was with her. Anu did not seem to think that there was, either, and she had seemed very happy about Princess being with Haven. It had been strange to see, since her own mother would have had some... Interesting words to say about it. It was terrible that she was mildly taken aback by someone's mother actually wanting something good for them. It only showed how messed up her childhood had been, how much she had to learn.
The early rays of the sun were entering her window, reflected brightly off of the snow on the ground outside. She could not think of anything left to do to put this off, and she would simply have to take the leap and hope that everything worked out. Nervously, she left her room and went down the hall to the room that smelled heavily of her Commander, hesitating just outside it. It was early, and she did not want to wake anyone with her trivial problems, but she did not want to break her nerve now, not when she was so close. It wasn't really that early, either, and she did not expect Savina would mind terribly. Lifting her hand, Princess knocked very quietly, whispering as she did so, "Savina? It's Princess..." That way, if Savina was not awake already, she probably would not hear the noise and would not be disturbed.
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