Couldn’t she have this as well?
The question was one that Anu thought selfish to ask. There were simply some things that others were blessed with that she was not. It was not anyone’s fault, other then her own for the choices that she had made. But then, was this her free will that drew her towards another female rather then the arms of a male? This was not something that had simply happened the moment she had met Coli, no this was how she had been for some time. Never had Anu had a relationship with a male that ran as deep as the ones she had with her past mates, and now Colibri. Still, even if this was written in her some where, a place Anu could not change, what gave her the right to want such a gift as a litter of pups would be? Maybe she deserved it, maybe she could bring them to life and be the sort of mother that she always wished to be, but Anu could not see those paths clearly. Instead she saw a dream, with doubt lased around it.
Savina questioned her, and Anu felt her smile fade slightly. Her friend had not brought this to her, for Anu had been holding it for some time. She realized that she needed to say it aloud, and though she didn’t wish to place any uneasy topics on her friend Anu could use her help in understanding if these feelings were wrongly placed. Was she simply yearning from something that she could never have, or did her greatest friend believe that she could have this as well. A true family, a family that she brought into the world alongside another she loved so dearly. “How, I guess.” She paused, a breath coming as she thought of it. “I sort of thought that it was something I had to give up. Haven and the rest were already in the cooking process when I met their mother, “ recalled, not wishing to think much of the woman she had loved once, long ago. Her voice was still light, there was no reason to speak heavily when talking of dreams.
“I want to be a mother, and I would like to share that with Colibri.” She confessed. Having never said the words before, but thinking of them often Anu felt a weight lift from her. Yes, those were her wants and her wishes.
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