Anu couldn’t find where it hid inside, what made her think and feel the way she did. Her only male lover had been nameless, and as she thought back to that night (on those rare occasions) he was faceless as well. But that was all he had been, and Anu had not found the deep desire, the gravity defying uplifting emotion that was brought to her with the mate she had in the past in a male. There was a connection there that could not be redirected, a comfort that was felt that could not be placed on another. Why she desired to have a litter of her own, and why she wished to feel the fright and the excitement and the joy of childbirth Anu didn’t know. Where it came from was a mystery as well. There had been a time where she thought that she wouldn’t be able conceive at all, but that thought had only quelled the desire and gave her an excuse for her not to try.
Savina’s words were true, oh so very true. It wouldn’t be easy; nothing about it would Anu figured. It would take time, something that she feared that she was loosing without restraint. It would take her being unfaithful to a wolfess that she never wished to hurt; it would take finding someone that she could trust just as much as she trusted the woman that had stolen her heart. Anu didn’t know who that was, and though she had a small list of names that she had gathered in her quiet stolen thoughts on the subject she wouldn’t know how to ask or what to say to them. Would any understand? Would someone wish this for her as much as her close friend did? Everything matter whether Coli approved, and though there might be disappointment felt if she did not wish to ever have pups Anu would respect the decision. And move on, then perhaps she could move on from the thoughts.
“No, I don’t think it would be easy.” She spoke, her smile back. She didn’t want to feel depressed, or ungrateful for the woman that had left her home to live with her. She was happier now then she had been in seasons, and it was Colibri that had given that to her. Though the woman could not give Anu children, she did not feel as if her love lacked in anyway.
“It would be exciting though.” She said with a smile.
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