[M] after all i've tried, you are still inside.
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WARNING This thread contains graphic violence and extremely offensive material (death) starting with the 1st post. Reader discretion is advised.





Word Count :: 1016 private/read only.


The sun had set, and the only indication of its existence was a faded orange glow on the horizon, slowly disappearing. Even with the oncoming darkness, the world was still vivid and sharp; the full moon sat in the sky, low on the horizon but steadily rising, filtering silver light over the earth to replace the brightness of day. Of course, it was nowhere near the sun's brilliance—deep patches of shadow still scarred the earth in places, slowly shifting with the low, rolling clouds. There were enough clouds so as to occasionally obscure the moon for a few moments, but not nearly enough to threaten rain; as the one eyed hybrid shot a glance skywards, she saw this and thought that the rains had passed on. There had been plenty of that lately, and Kaena was glad for this dry night.


She was to the northwest of Inferni's territory, outside of her own clan's boundaries. She was not so afraid to come here, and steadily, Kaena was losing her fear of the other lands. Since the war's end, though, she had not traveled outside of the area directly surrounding Inferni; she had not dared to enter the deeper parts of Arachnea's or the Dampwoods. Shadows lurked there still, blue eyed and dethroned but dangerous nonetheless, and Kaena would not make the same mistake she had in the fall. That could not happen to her again. He had tainted her, in the very same fashion her brother had, in the very same way she swore would not happen again. Kaena had promised herself she would not let it happen again, and yet she had chosen it this time. She had been more afraid of death, in the end, and perhaps that was the worst thing about it.


Nothing could rid her of this feeling; it was with her always. She carried his mark, his taint, his scent on her always, no matter how many times she scrubbed her skin clean again. It always came creeping back to her, in dreams or even daylight—something someone said, the faintest touch of a scent on the breeze. These tiny reminders stuck in her heart like razor shards of glass each time, drawing those already old memories back from where she'd worked to push them and shove them, trying to clean them from herself entirely. Each time the wounds reopened, and each time the silver-shaded hybrid started anew. But this was a losing battle she fought, and there was determination in her step as she stole away from Inferni on this night. Her remaining eye glowed promises of death and fire and ash; the emptied socket was its usual abyss, drawing the light from her face into its pit.


Maybe somewhere in herself, the silver-shaded hybrid knew that his death and his blood were the only things that could cleanse her, maybe not—even if she had known, it did not stop her when she spied the canine form in the distance, limping toward her. It was not him—lupus, light-furred. She carried no scent of death, not as Kaena's monster did—there was simple exhaustion and fear written on his face as the silver-shaded hybrid flew past her, turning and whirling around the wolf in circles with speed like a canine half her age. Half her age. Her middle sons and daughters were half her age, and her eldest was already an old man. The coyote laughed, and the wolf hit the ground, belly to the earth, pleading forgiveness or mercy, neither of which the monochrome woman possessed.


Her teeth, again and again, snapping and tearing, still circling about the pallid wolf like a whirlwind, ruby red slashes opening wide in her pale coat. Glistening blue-black blood seeped from within the canine and welled to the surface, bursting crimson into the night. The one-eyed coyote was deaf to the creature's sounds of agony, its screams and cries, continual pleading—she heard none of it, and she saw only the blood bubbling up from beneath the surface. None of the wounds she had inflicted were fatal, but swaths of red were almost more prominent than the pale, white-blond fur by the time the silver-colored hybrid slowed to a stop in front of the quaking creature, breathing heavily. The wolf did not look up at first; the tip of her muzzle pressed firmly to the ground and Kaena could see her quivering, soft whimpers of pain the only noise from her throat.


“W-w-will you spare me?” the canine asked, her darkened, fear-widened eyes peering up to the scarred coyote. Her words were barely above a whisper; she seemed to have resigned herself to this. There was an old wound on her leg, the cause of her limping. Maybe the cause of Kaena's attack—she was not so young that she could attack just anyone anymore. Maybe tonight it would not have mattered; Kaena thought she would have thrown herself at Haku himself if he had been the one to show face this evening. Her russet muzzle crinkled into what might have been a smile or a snarl; it was impossible to tell with the scars criss-crossing the hybrid's face. Had she ever been spared?


“No.” It was a simple answer, but this was the truth—there was no delight in deceit for Kaena. This creature would know it looked death in its one-eyed face. There was less anguish than Kaena would have expected from the creature as she advanced—rather than a wail, the she-wolf only continued to whimper, murmuring and whispering her prayers to the dirt. The silver-shaded coyote had lived long enough, she had seen this very scene enough times—she knew no one would answer. Her teeth descended, and an arc of red sprayed into the grass. The hybrid dropped the wolf dead where it was, and threw her head back, screaming and howling her own agony to the moon. There was no improvement; there was no change. The clouds drifted aimlessly by and the world kept spinning, and Kaena was no better for any of it.

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