It had been a quiet day, with light gray clouds looming overhead, warning Tayui of an impending rain. She had held out, not wanting to venture too far from her den if it was going to rain. As a result, she had been able to clean up her den and finish up many of the small projects she had been working on. She had managed to tidy up Claudius's dyes and various items he kept stashed throughout the den, ensuring that he did not have another accident. She did not want him to always be covered in dye, even if had been rather funny the first time.

Tayui' ears perked up at the sound of her sister's voice. She could hear Aurèle, albeit a little muffled, at the entrance to her den.

“I'll be out in a second!” Tayui shouted as she scrambled to finish putting Claudius's items back on the shelf. Once she was finished, she trotted out to where her sister was waiting for her.

“Come on in! I've always got time for you,” she noted warmly as she approached the mouth of her cave. She was about to ask what brought her sister here, but paused. She did not want Aurèle to think she needed a reason to ever visit her. She would always welcome the company of family.

It had been a quiet day, with light gray clouds looming overhead, warning Tayui of an impending rain. She had held out, not wanting to venture too far from her den if it was going to rain. As a result, she had been able to clean up her den and finish up many of the small projects she had been working on. She had managed to tidy up Claudius's dyes and various items he kept stashed throughout the den, ensuring that he did not have another accident. She did not want him to always be covered in dye, even if had been rather funny the first time.

Tayui' ears perked up at the sound of her sister's voice. She could hear Aurèle, albeit a little muffled, at the entrance to her den.

“I'll be out in a second!” Tayui shouted as she scrambled to finish putting Claudius's items back on the shelf. Once she was finished, she trotted out to where her sister was waiting for her.

“Come on in! I've always got time for you,” she noted warmly as she approached the mouth of her cave. She was about to ask what brought her sister here, but paused. She did not want Aurèle to think she needed a reason to ever visit her. She would always welcome the company of family.

Tayui came her name; and Tayui came the worry. The pale lady frowned, wondering why Aurèle was having so much trouble saying her name. Had she injured her voice? Was that why she was here? Did she need assistance creating some sort of herbal remedy. Although she had never been too familiar with the healing powers of plants, she knew it was possible to make a myriad of cures with various plants. Tayui shook her head, reeling herself in. She had to focus: if Aurèle needed her help, she had to be ready and willing to listen. She took a step closer, oping to comfort her sister.

She had not expected that. Not ever, not again. Her mind raced with the implications, no -- the very thought that her daughter was dead was enough to make her thoughts spiral into oblivion. She could feel her foreleg shaking and she raised it to examine her clawed paw. She had shifted into her Secui form to ease of movement while working in the cave, but now her larger form felt more of a burden than a help. Now, her entire body felt like it was hindering her and holding her back. She could feel her other foreleg shuddering under the weight as she realized she had been leaning on it far too much. She lowered her other leg to the ground, staring at her sister. She said nothing; she just stared, willing the words to go away.

They didn't. Not when Aurèle showed her the toy. It was Noir's favourite, her little stuffed toy. Attila had always teased her about it, but Tayui hadn't minded it. Her beautiful daughter and all those beautiful toys, dead and rotting.

“Aurèle,” she choked out, now realizing why her sister had such difficulty pronouncing her name. She did not want to say it, but she knew she had to: “Noir.” She reached out and took the toy from her sister. She leaned back on her haunches, cradling the toy against her chest. Some of the dirt rubbed on to her pale pelt, but she didn't notice. Noir was dead.

Tayui shook her head slowly, trying to get rid of these thoughts. The thoughts that Noir was dead, that she wasn’t coming back. She closed her eyes, trying to make it stop, trying to make it so it never really happened. But the brush of the dirty toy brought her back to reality and the guilt and sorrow washed over her anew. She did not want to her Aurèle’s attempts at consolation; there was no way her sister could put enough emotion in her voice to make it sound like she cared. Tayui didn’t want to look at her now, not because of this. She wanted someone to hold her and tell her it would be alright, but she knew her sister would not be able to do that. She couldn’t even put enough feeling into her apology. It was empty. There was nothing in her words; they were empty and blank.

Tayui wanted to lash out and cry and pretend it wasn’t real. She wanted to demand answers from Aurèle, refuse to allow her sister to leave until she gave her a proper apology. Until she showed she actually cared for what Tayui felt and what she wanted. She wanted a sister right now, not some faceless soldier who only brought bad news and false condolences. Tayui wanted to weep and forget about everything else except the pain, the pain that her daughter, her loving daughter was gone. She had been a child of the sun, like honey and sunbeams; she had been the picture of innocence. She had never hurt anyone and had helped Claudius so much. She had loved Noir so much that knowing she was dead hurt that much more.

“Just… just…” she started, trying to express her feelings. She didn’t know what she wanted now. She wanted to hold her daughter again. That was what she wanted; but it would never come true. She wanted her family again. She wanted to know that Océane and everyone in her life was alright. That her other daughter was not dead as well. She wanted them to stop dying. It couldn’t be happening again. Not after Shaeniire had died and Ember, too. Not after Agani had left her when she had needed him most, and returned to her when she had put the memories behind her. He had left her, too. And now Noir was gone, not of her own accord, but she was still gone.

“I don’t know what to do,” she confessed, clutching the toy tighter.

Tayui snapped her head up at Aurèle’s words, disbelief colouring her features. How could she say something like that? Certainly, she would mourn her daughter and she would continue to live, but it was not that simple. It was never that simple. She would have to tell Attila and Claudius that their sister was dead. How could she tell Attila that his sister was dead only months after he had returned home? Would he leave again, even after he had promised her he wouldn’t? The last time Tayui had lost someone, that was exactly what had happened. Her family had splintered and she was left to be the strong one. She had been the one who had to carry on and continue to live. Well, she was tired of it. It was getting so hard to just live now. Jaded Shadows was gone, Shadowed Sun had crumbled, Pilot had disappeared and now Noir was dead. And her sister couldn’t even bring herself to pretend that she cared. Tayui didn’t know what Aurèle had seen and done, but she didn’t care right now.

“You know,” she began, digging her claws in to the toy, “you could at least pretend to care.” She raised her eyes to look at her sister’s vibrant green ones. “She’s dead,” she repeated. “And it’s like you are too; dead inside.” She loosened her grip on the toy, fiddling with one of the loose strings. Her eyes became unfocused as she stared at her sister, trying to figure out what she had just said and why she had done it. Her shoulders ached, but it felt right to let her sister know that. That she wasn’t just some airheaded fool that could take her own daughter’s death so lightly. Not now and not ever. Unlile Aurèle, there was a heart beating beneath her breast.

Tayui flinched at her sister’s words, pulling her head back slightly and narrowing her eyes. She felt the paw that was holding her daughter’s toy shiver slightly, twitching oddly. She met her sister’s gaze with one of her own, with equal fury. She bit back a number of retorts, wanting to say so much, to lash out and make it alright. She had wanted her sister to be so much more, but she had never been anything like what she expected. Tayui had created so many expectations for her kin as a child, and now as an adult, but they had never been fulfilled. Aurèle had harassed her and mocked her for everything she’d done. Tayui had been dealing with death far before her sister had ever understood the concept. She’d had Viola to thank for that, her patient, steady guide. Never once had she wondered about her aunt’s existence until family members called it into question. But her aunt was not real, they told her. No, she had been dead, and she had to grapple with the concept at a young age. Now, faced with it again, she wanted someone to help her through it. She’d seen death too many times to face it alone again. She wanted someone, her sister, her strong sister, to show some compassion and guidance.

“I needed a sister,” she replied harshly. “I needed someone to confide in. I still do.” Her voice began to crack. “I can’t do this anymore. Alone, I can’t raise my children, alone, I can’t, I can’t,” she began to cry, her anger growing slowly again. “I can’t see them dead again, not again, not again,” she continued, anger burning through her tears. She couldn’t continue doing this, continue to see the ones she loved leave her and die. Leave her. Die. They kept doing that. Abandoning her and leaving her alone. She’d spent so much time after Shaeniire’s death trying to figure out where to go and what to do. She needed someone.

Again, her sister’s eyes went blank. It was not so much her eyes, but her entire body: it was rigid and straight, as if she had suddenly resolved a problem and had to stand perfectly still and completely poised for it to come true. But there was a hardness in her eyes that Tayui had known all her life, and which she had always confused with hate or anger. Both of those emotions were represented with subtle differences by Aurèle, but they all made Tayui feel like shit. Even now, with her daughter dead and her sister mourning, all the pale luperci could think about was how her sister had not changed a bit. How it had been her stoic, pure white sister to bring her the bad news, how she had not even had the decency to carry something black with her or hide her shameful coat.

Stop it, came her sister’s words: abrupt and uncensored. Tayui snarled in reply, about to bark off her own retort. Stop what? Feeling? Experiencing emotions and pain? Tayui thought to herself, viciously biting off the ends of the words so they came out guttural and forced. But her sister continued and did not give her time to add her own fury to the growing storm. Already, Tayui felt the anger and sullen emotions brewing beneath her breast; when she spoke, she unleashed it all.

“What?” she screeched. Her voice was thick and sharp and snapped like a whip. “What are you talking about? Now, with Noir dead, all you can do is accuse me of not knowing what it was like to feel alone when it was you who made me feel that? Especially when our half-brother burned our home to the ground?” Tayui didn’t know what Aurèle was trying to prove, but it was pissing her off. Where did she get off lecturing Tayui on loneliness, when she had tried so hard to fit in? And with her daughter dead, why was Aurèle even digging up these old ghosts, who had long since migrated to the other side? They were dead; there was nothing left. They had new deaths to grieve for.

She did not understand where all of her sister’s anger was coming from. Her daughter was dead and all Aurèle could do was complain about something that was over six years old? All Tayui could hear in her head was her beautiful daughter’s voice and all Aurèle wanted to do was remind her of things she had buried many years ago. Noir’s grave was still fresh, and yet, Aurèle still needed to resort to such old deaths to make her hurt. Oh, it was obvious they were sisters; Aurèle knew how to hurt Tayui in the worst way possible: announce the death of her daughter and then remind her of betrayal that was years past. It was as if her sister had asked herself how she could possibly make this more painful than it already was. Of course, sister dearest had always excelled in that area.

And she still could not make it go away. Aurèle’s voice rang out clear, though heavily accented, the words were obvious. Tayui did not want to hear it. There was no reason to say these things, not now, not NOW.

“Shut up!” Tayui screamed and lashed out with her paw. Unlike her standard Lupus form, a Secui paw had sharp claws that could leave a lasting mark. Tayui certainly hoped they did. “Stop talking! Don’t fucking lecture me, not after you tell me she’s dead!” she screeched, withdrawing her arm. “Don’t you ever dare try to make me feel worse, not again,” she continued, her voice rising. Tayui shook with indignation as she considered her sister’s words. How dare she lecture Tayui on loneliness and then reprimand her for being an attention-seeker? It wasn’t a wonder Tayui had been the first one to flee the pack during the fire with ‘loving’ family like this. Bring the news of the death of a loved one and then add a reminder of deaths long past as a side.

Tayui's chest heaved as she gasped for air. She tried to keep quiet, but would let out small squeaks every so often as she attempted to inhale without sounding like a whale. All the while, her mind was racing. As she retracted her claws, she watched her sister carefully. Her arm was shaking, but it felt good; she had wanted to do that for so long now, but the moment was bittersweet. She fuelled the fire by replying with a snarl: bared fangs and cruel intentions. She wanted to do so much more to force her sister to understand she was nothing like what Aurèle thought. Everything Aurèle knew about her was based on falsification, omission of truth, and flat-out lies. Or, so she assumed. Even now, when her sister brought her the news of her daughter's death, the one thing that made her attack her own kin was Aurèle's lies. Her sister came with her head held low, but now left with indignation. The thought made Tayui's blood burn.

She watched as her sister left, both glad to see the woman depart and sad to see her sister abandon her. There were too many emotions for her to sort out now; until she did, she would not be speaking to her sister. Not after what she had said. Not after Tayui felt the urge to strike her again. There were some things she would not allow herself to do again -- but it was not as noble as Tayui would have liked to think.