the resident sadness

Talitha de le Poer · 07-29-2010, 12:07 PM

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WC: 477

YOU MIGHT NOT FEEL IT NOW

Sleep came easy for the hybrid. Nightmares took a temporary break from plaguing her like they usually did, though she could still feel some sense of a shadow in the back of her mind; a conscious that she knew for a certainty wasn't her own voice or inner apparition. It never truly revealed itself, though Talitha held a sense as to who it could be, or her mind would play games with herself to assume the obvious of who (or what) it was. As much as she would never truly escape the realm of nightmares, at least she was feeling much more recovered physically. She had been running on E this whole time, with exhaustion set in through its past stages. The insomnia and hang over didn't necessarily help with it either, but now her system was finally on the path to recovery and rejuvenation again.

At least physically.

Finding quarters in one of the guest rooms of the D'Neville Mansion, it was an overcast morning when she strolled outside. With journal and pencil in grip, her unusually large German Shepherd-esque ears thought they heard distant tinkle of water in the forest beyond the back garden. Easing into a sashay through the shadowed canopy of the forest, her movements were naturally smooth gliding and graceful in the manner that Shepherds tended to walk. Effortless, but with a pace that was brisk. Her walking was generally brisk as it was, since she felt like the faster she moved, the quicker she would be able to avoid being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Talitha became big with self fulfilling prophecies after her incident. It would turn out Dapplebreak Creek wasn't a wrong place, nor was it anything that held a limited time span on its tranquility. Perfect.

The full effect of the creek's music filtered soothingly to her ears, and couldn't help but be lost in the random notes and melody of mother nature's finest music available. Water always had been a medium of hers to think and ponder, even if it was water within a tarnished glass or container, there was something about water that brought her to a state of equilibrium. Approaching the shoreline, she easily fell to crossed legs first, then dipped the soles and heels of her feet in the cool stream. It felt amazing upon her blistered feet, and slowly eased in until the water was at about her ankles in a comfortable soak. Setting her journal and pencil upon her lap, her overly fluffy Shepherd tail curled around and underneath her legs, as Talitha took delight in the music and feeling of the creek. This was something she could easily lose hyper vigilance with, as she let herself drift away from the rest of reality. It was a risk on her own behalf, but the creek felt just so damn good.

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Kaena Lykoi · 08-06-2010, 03:57 AM

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deeeelay D: sorry <3 (408)

It had been two weeks since the silver-shaded coyote had fought him and lost. Her efforts had not been in vain, however—she had weakened him, she had taken his blood and cleaved his flesh with her fangs, and paved the way for Gabriel to finish the job. It had not been hers to take from him, but in her heart she knew a younger self would have been able to finish the job. She should have been able to best him herself, and yet she had nearly died once again. The idea that she was simply too old anymore haunted her, and she could not begin to admit such things aloud. She was not weak, she was not old. Inferni needed her; Gabriel needed her. She could not and she would not admit weakness.

It was slow going from her cave to Mansion. She had intended to seek some kind of medical plant in relief of her wounds, yet the only kind she knew of was what Naniko had described. Even then, she did not know how to prepare such things, so she had sulked about the mansion and the greenhouse for a few moments, sorely wishing for Anselm's presence and general expertise in anything she seemed to need. After some time had passed, however, the silvery coyote moved on, finding no one around. Instead, she followed a scent—it was one she did not recognize, yet there was the strangest hint of familiarity to it.

She followed along the creek, absently trailing after this scent. She had not accepted newcomers herself lately, though she supposed the past few weeks spent in recovery would have something to do with that. Gabriel was, after all, perfectly capable of doing so himself. Even so, both of them had been injured, and the hybrid wondered if perhaps someone else had taken up the duties of leadership. Or maybe she had simply taken longer to recover than her younger child. The silver-shaded hybrid hesitated at the sight of another canine, stopping to take in her Optime form before continuing forward. There was familiarity in the woman's every feature; her fur was Gabriel's own, her face and entire body shape called back to Kaena's own. Uncertain, though driven forward by curiosity, the coyote woman called out softly. “Hello,” she said. Recognition of her own blood was certain, but of course, the coyote woman had no way of knowing just who this was.

Talitha de le Poer · 08-16-2010, 11:54 AM

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It's all good, dude. :3 +5

The water of the stream was so cold it was beginning to have a frostbitten pain envelope her toes, causing her to lift her feet momentarily to give her stimulated nerves a break. The sensation of freezing liquid was so much better rather than rocky, hard terrain ten times over. It would take Talitha getting used to all the simple things forgotten when she left several times before, as this time it was a certainty she grown weary of traveling and moving from one place to the next, not content with finding a place to settle down. Her home was here, all along, as it always had been. Gabriel was the only real support system Talitha had, and sticking with family was important. Family never was a top priority on her list, and it made her guilty because of it. Even after she left Gabriel high and dry, worrying himself to death where she was, Gabriel deserved better. Much better. He deserved a loving daughter, sans problems, conditions, alcoholism. As much as Talitha wanted to come home all along, she also had doubts. Not only about about Inferni, but about herself out of all creatures.

Dipping her feet as far as they could go again and withstanding the urge to pull them out when the water was too cold to handle, Talitha attempted to enjoy herself in solitude and nature by closing her eyes, but was suddenly met with a voice and a presence that jolted her an inch or two off the ground. Nice going, you have the biggest ears there is, and you still didn't hear anyone approaching. Losing your touch already? Talitha was too caught up in surprise to have a silent mental spar with her conscious, as she looked up at the female before her. Scars, literally what appeared like more than ten, fifteen, maybe even twenty if that was pushing it far, were all over her face, marring her complexion, even streaking across one shoulder. It looked like the older female seen better days (or not?) in her younger years. This hybrid looking creature certainly seen the face of war, no doubt, as the most horrifying element about her was her missing eye. The other was a gleaming orb of gold, which instantly made Talitha uneasy, and couldn't help but focus upon the eyeless socket rather than the eye itself. Gold eyes, they scared the hell out of Talitha, and couldn't bring herself to be caught dead looking into one.

Her eyes strayed to the Chaos Star tattoo upon the woman, to which Talitha found instant identification with the Chaos Star emblem upon her journal in her lap. Before she would point out that familiar symbol, the scarred elder offered a casual hello, to which Talitha didn't have anything else to say in her surprise, shock, and strange awe of the hybrid before but the same thing she did. "H-Hello." It came out stuttered from her surprise, to which she mentally cursed herself for doing. Way to make the locals think of you any better. Quit acting so riled up, or they'll find a way to take advantage of you like they've done before. Talitha clenched her jaw firm at her conscious, cursing it for even telling her such a thing.

Kaena Lykoi · 08-19-2010, 01:41 AM

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Word Count :: 356

A tapered and far more feminine version of her son's face peered at her. A bright-yellow gold eye roved over the black and tan female, seeing herself reflected and filtered through this woman. Others might have found such a thing discomforting—a reminder of youth long evaporated, perhaps—but the coyote woman took only joy out of this meeting. She had heard of Talitha, of course—not only through Gabriel himself, but also through the young woman's very brother Ezekiel. The coyote had known him only briefly, but Tali had been a subject of their conversation. Ezekiel had worried for her, over her, but Kaena had reassured him, telling the gold-shaded man that blood alone was strength, and sharing hers, Gabriels, all of the Lykois was strength doubled. Seeing the younger woman here before her now, Kaena knew those words to be true; there was indeed power and energy reflected in Talitha's de le Poer eyes, but there was also a shadow. It was a cloud Kaena herself was intimately familiar with.

She knew she and Talitha shared more than blood—Gabriel had only one daughter, and this was she; this was the canine Andre had brutalized. Kaena's own son, her own granddaughter—once more the scarred, old canine was infinitely glad for Gabriel's existence and his leadership of Inferni. She did not envy the decision he had to make, and it would have been even more difficult for Kaena—to this day, the scarred woman could not say she would have done the very same thing as Gabriel. In her heart, she knew this was the best course of action, the one he should have taken and the one he took—even so, she could not say she would have done the same.

“You're Talitha?” the hybrid asked, half question, half assumption. “You look like your father,” she said, a faint smile beginning on her scarred muzzle. “We've never met, but I'm your grandmother,” the hybrid said, feeling more than awkward herself—as much as she yearned for beautiful Hallmark moments, real life so rarely panned out as it did in fantasies and romanticized fiction.

Talitha de le Poer · 08-19-2010, 01:08 PM

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+5

Her long and narrow muzzle nodded apprehensively when the scarred hybrid got her name right the first time, a little surprising this soon to be not stranger knew of her name. Apparently the woman knew of her father well, for she identified her looks nearly as a carbon copy to him. Talitha still had a confused look on her face as she looked down at herself, confirming if she did really look like a female version of Gabriel, before the hybrid would announce that she was her grandmother. Blinking several times, her unusually large ears twitched and her lips fell open at this realization. This was the grandmother figure that Gabriel was referring to when she came stumbling back to the skull lined borders of Inferni, and couldn't believe that she was meeting her father's mother for the first time. Ever.

Gazing at what would be her very blood grandmother to her by way of Gabriel, this hybrid was fascinating. Talitha assumed throughout this whole time the trademark trait of having ruby red eyes was something only a true Lykoi carried, but found out that her grandmother's one eye was a striking color of gold that seemed to smolder and stare right into your soul (and Talitha really hadn't been exposed to other Lykoi souls around Inferni either, so her exposure was limited). Her grandmother's body told of many tales from the deep imprints of scars that crisscrossed through her flesh, and Talitha was merely compelled to know each story behind one (especially how she only had one eye), but at the same time, also felt like she was being disrespectful for literally raping her grandmother's figure with her wandering, scrutinizing eyes. Her own cherry red eyes eventually strayed down and away, almost submissively. This woman carried herself tall and proud, and was no wonder that she carried a high rank in Inferni. She absolutely smelled of it.

Feeling flustered as not to know what to say or do, all that the Shepherd looking woman could do was look dumbstruck. Talitha would soon correct her astonished ways, though, as she shook her head in disbelief, and a smile slowly began to creep upon her muzzle. "My grandmother. My father's actual mother." Talitha said, in confirmation of all this. Gabriel was really the only other family member in her life thus far that was close to her (her brother had been close to, but disappeared long ago). To be revealed yet another relative, one that was directly related to the one individual in this world that Talitha ultimately confided in, well, she was nearly star struck, to say the least. "You know, Gabriel told me about you when I came back." Talitha first said, with her smile slowly turning into an amused smirk. "And told me to be ready for your coddling. I have strong cheeks, so any pinching won't hurt me that bad." Talitha said in full amusement. Oh, and one more very important fact to address. "What's your name?" She would find out in due time of course, but was eager to know right away.

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Kaena Lykoi · 08-20-2010, 12:18 AM

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Word Count :: 427 Big Grin

In the blood-red gaze of the woman, the hybrid was at once elated and disturbed to see Ahren staring back at her. Some of his children had looked very much like him—Corona and Rikka both had his pale gold coloration. Gabriel carried most of his strong features. Halo, Jael, and Enigma did not strongly reflect many de le Poer features; though they were wolfish, they looked quite a bit like a stranger, one whom Kaena assumed to be their mother. They shared blood with Haku, as well—their mother and his mother were one and the same. Beyond these children, she had no other de le Poer grandchildren she knew of. Conway's children were far away and likely kept away from Inferni and the Lykoi taint; they were de le Poers through and through, but she did not know them. This was painful, of course, but the coyote woman could do nothing—they were an ocean away.

“Yes,” the coyote confirmed, a faint and raspy laugh echoing from her after this. It was always good for family to be in Inferni, and here she was again, too—if she had stayed where she was, she never would have known Talitha, Halo, Enigma, Jael—even Razekiel's children! She never would have seen him again. Her heart hurt for all of the missed minutes, the time she had spent away from the clan—even so, that could not dampen this meeting-slash-reunion. They had always known one another through blood, that deep-running, almost otherworldly connection, but this was the first time they were meeting face-to-face. “He told me about you when I came back, too. And your brother did, too,” the hybrid said, thinking fondly of Ezekiel—he had been so worried for his sister. The silver-shaded hybrid was glad the strong bonds between family were not so damaged as Andrezej's.

“Ah, so now he's warning his kids about me,” the hybrid said, grinning toothily. She had no fingers with which to feign a pinch, and she was too stiff and sore to bother anyhow. Gabriel must have known how she would react to this one and any other family member—they were hers, direct descendants of her own blood, and she would cherish and love each of them as if they had come from her very body. There was nothing left for the old woman but family and clan anymore, and it showed. “Kaena,” the scarred woman said, smiling. “We have the same last name,” she said, proud that Gabriel had tagged one of his children a Lykoi.

Talitha de le Poer · 08-26-2010, 08:39 PM

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:B +5

With this newfound admiration of her very own grandmother before her (and not just any grandmother from some unknown relative, but her direct grandmother from her father's side), there were some physical traits Talitha could point out that would mirror Gabriel's own features. Her singular golden eye flickered with the same tint of color that swirled in Gabriel's gaze, as well as the multitude of scars (of course Kaena outnumbered Gabriel in scars, but it seemed like physical markings were part of the Lykoi line). It was perhaps common for a Lykoi to bear such physical war markings, and it reminded her of her own gash slit across her collarbone, although that scar of hers did not have any significant pride attached to it whatsoever. There was something about Talitha's grandmother before her that bore the narrow muzzle of a German Shepherd, and underlying details that would in no doubt connect her to a Shepherd's genes, although it appeared she was also very mixed with other elements, just like Talitha was.

All of a sudden, it seemed like whatever worries that plagued the hybrid's mind disappeared temporarily in her astonishment of reconnecting with a blood relative. Once Kaena confirmed Talitha's enthrallment with a rugged laugh, all the hybrid could do was only continue to look on with a face that looked like she seen one of the seven wonders of the world. Apparently Gabriel already touched based with Kaena before, notifying her that there was a granddaughter to be met; as well as Talitha's brother too, to where her unusually large ears couldn't help but twitch and perk forward to hearing this. "My brother." Talitha first stated, feeling a dull stabbing blade of guilt thrust itself through her heart. There was a bond shared with Ezekiel that was by far untouchable to anyone else, and Talitha knew that it was her fault directly for him running off in order to find her. She couldn't even recall the last time her better half (as she would like to call him) was in her presence. "Is... Ezekiel still around here, somewhere?" For some reason she already knew the possibly disappointing answer to this question, but couldn't help to ask anyways.

With Gabriel warning his kin about the matriarch of the Lykoi line of Inferni, Talitha tilted her head and lightly grinned some. "Nothing but good things, mind you." Talitha didn't believe Gabriel would have the heart to make a negative remark about anyone who was considered family by blood. With her grandmother revealing her name as Kaena, it was a name that would undoubtedly be never forgotten. "Kaena." Talitha repeated, as if reminding herself that this would be a name frequently crossed by her lips from this point forward. Stating that Kaena and Talitha shared the last name, it only made the relation between them even more personal (despite how this was their first time face to face, Talitha felt like she already established some sort of deep connection). The hybrid nodded her head. "I figured we might have been related by surname too, judging from your tattoo. I have the same emblem on the front of my journal. See?" Holding up her journal, her fingers brushed over the Chaos Star emblem. After a couple of settling silent seconds, Talitha gazed back up to Kaena. "How many Lykois are there in Inferni?" To be the matriarch, she had to have known, after all.

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Kaena Lykoi · 09-07-2010, 03:57 AM

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table © Alaine
Word Count :: 388 Also, derp derp, Kae would have totally offered a chaos star tattoo, but she was all AJFKSDJKF WRITING???? and it slipped her old person head. >>;; If you wanted one for Tali, she could always ask and Kae would definitely help her out. ^_^

How far had her family spread? How many unknown members had her blood running through their veins? The silver hybrid had many children, some of whom she had not seen in years—they could have had children who already had children at this point. Even those she knew about—Ahemait was rumored to have had children, though Kaena had never met them. She did not even know the names of these children, and yet she loved them in their mystery all the same. She had only known Ezekiel a brief time; the hybrid woman wished she could have known him better. “Last summer, when I first returned, he lived here. He was worried for you,” the coyote said, keeping the sternness carefully from her voice. She did not wish to chide the woman for her decisions; the silver-shaded hybrid had long ago learned that family, even one as entwined in Inferni as this one, did what it wanted for its own reasons. Their concern was not always those left behind, and whatever Talitha had pursued during her departure, the silver-shaded woman could not hold against her. After all, the Centurion herself had a long and choppy history, complete with intervals of absence and presence.

“I told him you were strong, and I was right,” the hybrid added, a muted grin appearing on her scarred muzzle. She did not need any kind of special vision to see Talitha's strength. It was plain and there for any to view. “Your name and blood both lend some to you, but now I see you have quite enough of your own.” The silver-shaded woman was quite used to her own star, though she did not often get the chance to view it by reflection. She had not noticed the symbol on Talitha's journal until it was pointed out, but two things immediately interested the silver-shaded coyote. “Ten or so,” she answered, distracted—perhaps she had forgotten about Itachi, or perhaps she had not included Talitha herself in this count. “You can write?” the hybrid asked, incredulous—such a thing was utterly beyond her. Her hands were not dexterous enough to wield any writing implement for any sustained period of time, and she could only scratch at the paper, having no idea how to form the letters that she could barely read anyway.

Talitha de le Poer · 09-10-2010, 10:01 AM

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Aw! Thanks! :3 I've been talking with J (Cotl) about it, and we're in the talks with Cotl tattooing the star on Tal's hip. :o But! If in the event that it doesn't go through with us, I'll definitely consider your offer! I'm sure though that Tal's going to want plenty more tats in the future (I want her to at least get going a half sleeve eventually), so maybe she can confide in both Kae's and Cotl's services. ^^ 5+ Table by Sie

Upon hearing how concerned Ezekiel been, it sent a very physically felt pang of hurt within her to know that Ezekiel did remain in the lands for quite sometime. With Gabriel exiling her until matters settled with the war, Talitha never really did get a chance to say goodbye to Ezekiel, nor did she really have any last words to say to him that were meaningful before she departed. If there was anyone in this world besides from Gabriel that Talitha wanted to avoid hurting at all costs, it would be Ezekiel. He was another support figure in her life that she could lean against, and for one, didn't judge her in the least. Kaena's voice was simplistic and kind to explain his whereabouts, and from the particular wording of her explanation, it was apparent Ezekiel was no longer here. Her head tipped downward, staring sadly at the ground for a moment. "Oh." Talitha said, and was all she could say at first. "I... wish I could have told him goodbye. I wish I could have told him that, as fucked up as I really am in the head, that in the end, I would be okay and would come back to him." Talitha elaborated, lifting her crimson eyes back to the golden eye of her grandmother's. There was a heavy sense of emotion seen in her eyes in regards to Ezekiel.

The guilt of feelings for Ezekiel would begin to plague her just as much as the night terrors would, and wouldn't be shaken from her for awhile. It was a new method that the shadow in her subconscious would use to torment her into depression and to look down upon herself for doing such a thing to somebody so close and loved. Kaena reveled upon how strong Talitha was during this whole time, and even while the compliment did make her smile some, on the inside, it didn't seem to be appreciated as it should have. Talitha had a life long curse of demons to follow her, and even as strong as she really was on the inside, it was all suppressed by the darkness and poison of her self-esteem. "Thanks, but I know I'll never be as half as great as my father is." Talitha said, her negativity beginning to show in her words. "I've been... ruined." It was said abruptly, and tapered off a little awkward. It was the truth though, no?

Moving on to more important matters other than herself (because Talitha didn't regard herself as worthy to speak about, and would rather avoid talking about herself at all costs), her eyes widened when Kaena mentioned there were ten others within Inferni that claimed the Lykoi name. She would have thought a handful, five or six, would be adequate, but ten was actually a staggering numerical statistic of Lykoi individuals to know. "There's ten of them? No way." Talitha spoke in disbelief, although Kaena showed no doubt in her words. It was surprising, but then again, she was eager to know just who carried the name. "Where do they all stay? Do they all know of each other too?" Talitha was unsure if the Lykois were big on family reunions or even sticking in one another's proximity, but she was eager to learn more about the ten that lingered, and even more interested to meet them all at some point.

Talitha's grandmother then brought her attention to her journal, to which Talitha all of a sudden felt bashful about explaining. Nobody knew that much about her writing, and Talitha didn't tend to share much of it to the outside world either. Looking down at it, as if almost confused by her question, she put a hand over the cover, as if attempting to shield the book from her grandmother. "Write? Oh, uh, yeah. I write sometimes. Either... thoughts that I have, or sketches that come to mind." Besides words, her book was also filled with an assortment of sketches and drawings, most of which originated from the paintings that were still hanging within the D'Neville Mansion.

Kaena Lykoi · 10-08-2010, 08:40 AM

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so hey, have you heard, I am made of Fail?

The silver-shaded coyote had not intended to dredge up misery; this was intended to be a happy meeting, and the hybrid had inadvertantly soured it. Her coal-colored ears folded half-mast at Talitha's words, and she frowned slightly, leaning forward to gently nudge the other woman's shoulder with her nose. “You will see him again,” the coyote reassured her. “Blood calls to blood, I know it,” the woman said. Even her own children, presumed lost forever—even they returned to her. Razekiel had been gone for a long time, and yet he had come back to her. The next words brought something strange and unidentifiable to the woman's face, passing like the shadow of a single cloud on an otherwise bright and sunny day. Ruined. The scarred woman knew such a feeling; her own sexuality, which had suffered nothing with aging, had been utterly muted by the incident in the fall. There was something broken within her, too, and she could not reassure Talitha away from such notions while suffering them herself. “Ten all-told. Me, Gabriel, Razekiel, Halo, Sepirah, Corona, Enkiel, Itachi, Zana, Eris,” she said, rattling the names off rapidly. “I would think they're at least familiar with one another. Some of 'em, you won't see too often—Zana, Corona, and Eris, they don't seem too social right about now, or they never were. Itachi's just a little baby, too,” the woman said, smiling. “He'd be some kind of cousin to you,” she added, not knowing the precise terminology for their relationship. “I can't hold a pencil,” the scarred hybrid lamented, still focused on Talitha's ability to write down her thoughts. “And drawing,” she marveled. “Can I see one of your drawings?” the hybrid asked, almost timidly.

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